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Catharascotia
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29 Dec 2012, 10:17 pm

I often feel that people are mad at me when they're talking to me, like I say something and something will change and I suddenly feel that they're angry with me. It's often just a vague but powerful nagging feeling. My dad is used to me asking, "Are you mad at me?" like 20 times a day, and always just says, "No", but other people get irritated if I ask too often, they think I'm being smart or looking for attention or something.

Does anyone else have this happen?



Radiofixr
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29 Dec 2012, 10:53 pm

I have it happen all of the time-people will stop talking to me all of a sudden and not respond and thats when I get the feeling


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sacrip
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29 Dec 2012, 10:55 pm

Sure, it happens. A lot of times, what you're picking up is the person being just mad at SOMETHING, not necessarily you. It COULD be you, but chances are you'd know if it were. I'd recommend NOT asking if someone's mad at you, because the question itself is irritating to someone who's preoccupied with something and comes across as you saying, "Please reassure me that you love me and that whatever is bothering you isn't my fault at all." In other words, it sounds whiny. My general policy is if someone is upset about something, he or she will tell me if he or she wants me to know.


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nikkiDT
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29 Dec 2012, 11:46 pm

Funny. That happens to me a lot too. And 99% of the time, they say "No".



tjr1243
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29 Dec 2012, 11:54 pm

Radiofixr wrote:
I have it happen all of the time-people will stop talking to me all of a sudden and not respond and thats when I get the feeling


This happens to me all the time too. Sudden silence. It is not temporary either 8O



Palakol
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30 Dec 2012, 12:28 am

Happens to me all the time too. I'm afraid to ask though, because they will probably lie and say "no" anyway.

Image

I actually heard my buddy talking to his girlfriend earlier about another woman. I thought she was mad. I said "You sound like you're in trouble. Is he in trouble?" Apparently he wasn't.


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EstherJ
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30 Dec 2012, 1:32 am

Feeling this right now....

I can't tell how anyone feels about me.



reneeirena
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30 Dec 2012, 2:23 am

My ability to read facial expressions and emotions in voices is limited to happy and not happy. I always assume the "not happy" to be angry.



Kairi96
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30 Dec 2012, 6:42 am

Catharascotia wrote:
I often feel that people are mad at me when they're talking to me, like I say something and something will change and I suddenly feel that they're angry with me. It's often just a vague but powerful nagging feeling. My dad is used to me asking, "Are you mad at me?" like 20 times a day, and always just says, "No", but other people get irritated if I ask too often, they think I'm being smart or looking for attention or something.

Does anyone else have this happen?

No, never. I'm the opposite. I can't realize if someone is mad at me, even if they really are.


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Naturalist
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30 Dec 2012, 8:40 am

reneeirena wrote:
My ability to read facial expressions and emotions in voices is limited to happy and not happy. I always assume the "not happy" to be angry.


I am very often assuming people to be angry or irritated with me. Over the years I have lost touch with many friends, and quit jobs, because I felt I regularly annoyed someone and I did not want to be in that position. When my counselor recommended that test where you look at the photos of someone's eyes and try to match the correct emotion, I missed many of them--and by far, the most common response I gave was "angry" or "annoyed" (even when the correct answer was "excited" or "interested"!). This was a real revelation to me, because I suddenly became aware that I was operating on interpersonal assumptions which were false, and detrimental to my self-esteem.

I do ask, "are you angry?" very often, sometimes to the point of actually annoying people, and my husband suggested that I modify the inquiry to something less pointed, such as "have I said something amiss?" or even, "how are you feeling?" or "perhaps I should stop speaking now?" It never hurts to excuse oneself from the conversation if you're getting a negative vibe, and approach the person in a different context with something like, "when we spoke last I had the sense that I might have been getting on your nerves. If that was the case, I do apologize." Sometimes when you are misreading facial expressions, it can be due to your own anxiety in that given situation, and returning to the person when you are more relaxed can help.



mitchmimi
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30 Dec 2012, 12:59 pm

yup iam no 1 for that wish i could stop it but people arent honest are they so how we to know what is what and when is when

its unfortunet that people with any condition gets suger coted and no one tells that person

hey maby you shouldnt say that it can hurt peoples feelings

seriously if we are honest then we would like that eh



Leola
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30 Dec 2012, 1:24 pm

I have this problem, too!

I used to consider it an OCD fear of not being liked/accepted. However, I'm now beginning to think it may be inability to process others' behavior and feelings well enough. I will, as someone previously mentioned, see AN expression and assume that expression regards me, when it probably doesn't. And I have a hard time believing them, even when they say they're not mad.



zeroed
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04 Jan 2013, 6:18 pm

Yes and my not-so-better-half has started to use it against me. only my fault that i let it happen. it must stop one way or other



Raj2442
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04 Jan 2013, 11:53 pm

Yeah I have this problem too. I can't really 100% tell if someone sounds angry or not so many times I think someone is angry because i feel they have anger in their tone of voice. Many times they are not angry, just serious (theres a difference)



Abstract_Logic
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06 Jan 2013, 10:55 am

I get the feeling that someone is mad at me if they don't respond on the internet. Sometimes people will say things that cause me to worry if they are mad. I can't recall a time when I've asked someone if they are mad at me and it turned out they really were. 99% of the time they are preoccupied with something, or they are mad at something/someone else.

I think this over-sensitivity we have to whether people are mad at us or not stems from our fear of rejection.


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anneurysm
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06 Jan 2013, 5:00 pm

YES. I have a tendency to always think about the worst possible outcome in a social situation where things are ambiguous. For example, a friend is being or acting distant from me, I tend to think that it's my fault and that they're mad at me for some reason...when often this is not the case.


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