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Am I a stalker?
Yes 76%  76%  [ 19 ]
No 24%  24%  [ 6 ]
Total votes : 25

Caseyfritz
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01 Jan 2013, 3:06 pm

Mine is over this co-worker, she's a girl. I am married (happily) but yet all I think about is this girl, and all I want is to hang out with her and her husband, like couples chilling. I feel sort of attracted to her, but I think it's more a fascination with wanting so badly to be friends and her being annoyed by it. It's gotten to a point where her husband texted me and called me an as*hole and to stop harassing his wife. Now I feel like a psychotic stalker. Has anyone gone through anything like this?



invisiblesilent
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01 Jan 2013, 3:23 pm

If you're sending her an inordinate number of text messages, e-mails or phone calls then that could possibly be considered stalking. What, PRECISELY, caused her husband to tell you to stop harassing his wife? Depending on the man in question he might say that for anything from talking to her for 2 minutes one time to calling her every day for a week. I think you left out some information which will enable us to give you a proper answer.

edit: If you want good quality advice then please tell us:

1. How often you spend time with her/them
2. How often you call, text or otherwise contact the woman
3. The general kind of content of your communications - is there any sexually or romantically suggestive tone to them?



Last edited by invisiblesilent on 01 Jan 2013, 3:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Kairi96
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01 Jan 2013, 3:24 pm

Quote:
Has anyone gone through anything like this?

Yup, I did. And more than once.


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naturalplastic
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01 Jan 2013, 3:30 pm

Just because her husband wants to kick your ass- thats no reason to cease and desist. Just keep on being a pest and go on harassing her! You have our blessing!

Is that what you all want all us to say?
Or what?

What exactly are looking for from us?



TallyMan
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01 Jan 2013, 3:35 pm

(Thread moved from Autism discussion to L&D and the duplicate thread in L&D deleted. The triplicate post here has also been deleted. Please do not create duplicate threads or duplicate posts; it is against the site rules.)


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Ann2011
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01 Jan 2013, 3:50 pm

It is normal to become fixated with people, but you don't have to act on it. Sounds like you might be putting your marriage at risk. I would steer clear, especially since the husband told you to stop. I don't think you've crossed into the psychotic stalker stage, but you might if you persist.



aspiemike
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01 Jan 2013, 5:15 pm

The fact that this person is a co-worker and her husband has asked you to stop contacting her tells me there could be some dire consequences at work if you keep this up. If you do want to keep your job, I would back off.



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01 Jan 2013, 5:42 pm

I get it all the time. It's called an aspie obsession, not a romantic obsession. ;)

At one stage I was absolutely obsessed with this woman, like unhealthily. But I didn't show it. I was obsessed with a guy on a dating site in the same way. Now I'm obsessed with another one, but this time it may be a romantic obsession, it's sometimes hard to tell.

You aren't stalking. From the looks of it you aren't doing anything.



BlueMax
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01 Jan 2013, 6:40 pm

Regardless - it's time to redirect that attention back to your OWN wife! Leave the other woman alone!



DefinitelyKmart
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01 Jan 2013, 7:28 pm

look man the poll doesn't lie, you are harrasing this women, leave her alone before severe implications effect your life.



hale_bopp
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01 Jan 2013, 10:10 pm

Whoops, I didn't read it properly. I'd just forget it, man.



Caseyfritz
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01 Jan 2013, 10:21 pm

Yeah the weird bit is that it is not a romantic obsession, I am not into her that way. It's just an obsession to hang out. I suppose that is an "Aspie's obsession?"



hale_bopp
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01 Jan 2013, 10:48 pm

Caseyfritz wrote:
Yeah the weird bit is that it is not a romantic obsession, I am not into her that way. It's just an obsession to hang out. I suppose that is an "Aspie's obsession?"


It is. But you have to reign them in. People get sick of it quickly if you don't.



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02 Jan 2013, 1:08 am

Id recommend sending an apology and just leave her be for a while perhaps for good depending on the circumstances.


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Kezzstar
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02 Jan 2013, 2:28 am

I so badly would love to be with my crush every day. Text him all the time, talk to him all the time, constantly be with him 24/7.

But he has things outside of me, like work, friends, family and hobbies (plus he lives 2 hours away). It's about boundaries and respecting them, and if you truely value someone you will respect their boundaries.

There has been a boundary drawn. If you truely care, then you will respect it and move away. Maybe (and it's unlikely) in the future the boundary might be moved, but that is totally 100% up to her and her husband, not you.


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JBlitzen
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02 Jan 2013, 3:10 am

Why do you want to be friends with someone who doesn't want to be friends with you?