Females: Were you passive subtype as a child?

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whirlingmind
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18 Jan 2013, 5:31 pm

If so, how did this affect your childhood history taking during your assessment? These are descriptions of the passive subtype:

Passive Presentation of AS
"Often amiable, gentle, and easily led. Those passive rather than aloof from infancy may fit AS. More likely than the aloof to have had a mainstream education, and their psych skill profiles are less uneven. Social approaches passively accepted (little response or show of feelings). Characteristic autistic egocentricity less obvious in this group than in others. Activities are limited and repetitive, but less so than other autistics. Can react with unexpected anger or distress. Recognition of their autism depends more on observing the absence of the social and creative aspects of normal development than the presence of positive abnormalities. The general amenability is an advantage in work, and they are reliable, but sometimes their passivity and naivete can cause great problems. If undiagnosed, parents and teachers may be disappointed they cannot keep a job at the level predicted from their schoolwork."

Passive Presentation Asperger's
-passively accepts social approaches as long as the other person initiates and keeps it going
-may enjoy social contact but does not initiate it or seek it out
-may or may not make eye contact
-social approaches from people are tolerated as long as they're not sudden/unexpected or intrusive/disruptive
-quiet, easy going, can engage in activities led by others

Did you have trouble with your traits showing enough to score at the AS cut-off level on the parental questionnaire?


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Last edited by whirlingmind on 18 Jan 2013, 8:06 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Ann2011
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18 Jan 2013, 7:04 pm

whirlingmind wrote:
If so, how did this affect your childhood history taking during your assessment?


This really sounds like me ... I was going to quote passages, but yes to all the points mentioned.

It was becoming apparent that I was not able to hold down a job, which is what led to the assessment. And my shy behaviour as a child was discussed. Also over/inappropriate reactions to things.



ChosenOfChaos
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18 Jan 2013, 7:14 pm

Not at all, as far as I know. If anything I'm more passive now - I was informed that I was a verbal bully and bossy because of my tendency to run over people in conversations back in highschool, and it really struck me because I wasn't even aware of doing it (seems obvious why, now) and certainly didn't have that intent. Since then I tend to overanalyze what I'm going to say and when to avoid doing that, and it's resulted in my seeming quiet a lot of times.

But then, I'm probably hardly a typical female aspie, if such a thing exists. I've always tended to stick my head in 'male' interests, and in general seem to get along better with guys. Their thought processes are so much more straightforward most of the time, it makes them easier to relate to.



jamgrrl
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18 Jan 2013, 7:36 pm

Sounds a lot like me, with a couple of exceptions. Especially when I was younger, but any of those things I overcame because I was faking it and trying hard to make friends. In some ways my attempts to comply with the wishes of others around me motivated me to learn the coping mechanisms.

The only thing I really disagree with is that prior to choosing self-employment, I held a successful career for 13 years (in IT). It wasn't easy, though - lots of stress and daily anxiety.



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18 Jan 2013, 7:58 pm

Yes yes and more yes. My school reports always mentioned how polite and hardworking I was. I often had one, dominating "friend" who both protected me and took advantage of me. During school time I was mostly quiet and unobtrusive so nobody noticed any problems. I was very skilled at avoiding situations that would overwhelm me. For example, if I knew we were going to have a substitute the next day (so the class would be noisy and misbehaved) I would pretend to be ill. So I bunked off school many times but I did it by pretending to be ill so I wouldn't get in trouble for skyving.
Most days when I got home from school I was so exhausted from keeping everything inside that I threw tantrums and was horribly behaved. So I had a Jekyll and Hyde thing going on. Because none of the bad behavior was at school, nobody picked up on it.

It was only when I finished school and was unable to hold down a job or live on my own did anybody start to question that something might not be right.



XFilesGeek
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18 Jan 2013, 8:24 pm

whirlingmind wrote:

Did you have trouble with your traits showing enough to score at the AS cut-off level on the parental questionnaire?


No.

Despite being "passive," the psychologist still said I reminded him very strongly of the male adolescents with Aspergers he had treated. The main difference, he told me, was that I wasn't "obnoxious" like they were.

I was/am "weird," I'm just a QUIET sort of "weird."

Oh, and my mother was interviewed via phone due to her living in a different state.


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deltafunction
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18 Jan 2013, 8:46 pm

My parents didn't recognize anything different about me in the questionnaire so the psychologist ignored that aspect of the diagnosis. She said that I was a better reporter. TBH my parents' response was just obnoxious in general. It was a written response to questions.

I can't recall my past very well right now as I am very different, but this passive subtype does seem to describe me as a child.



Marybird
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18 Jan 2013, 9:08 pm

Sometimes passive, sometimes aloof. More often aloof.



bethmc
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18 Jan 2013, 9:42 pm

This sounds very familiar.

As a child I was easily led into activities by other children - it never occurred to me to suggest an activity myself.
I was extremely quiet and rarely (if ever) sought attention, so that made me an "easy" child, especially compared to my younger brother who, as it turns out, is probably an Aspie like me, but he was so much more energetic and demanding.

I was a model student in the classroom because of my shyness and quiet demeanor - I could parrot back information quite well, yet not understand or fully comprehend a word of it.

For example, it took me until late in high school to truly understand that the people we'd discuss in social studies and history classes had been actual living people - it was so abstract, plus so focused on dates and places that I couldn't recognize the human element.

Plus I was frightened of a lot of things and could go from perfectly quiet and calm to freaking out in no time at all.

I was assessed as an adult, so the childhood aspect of the evaluation was challenging. My parents were absolutely no help - they have created their own histories in which everything was lovely.

My cousin, who is four years older than I am, was far more helpful during this process, as she remembered much of what I had been like as a child. That and the fact that she always referred to me as her shadow because I was so quiet that she hardly ever realized I was around.


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18 Jan 2013, 10:02 pm

No. I am more passive now. I was very outgoing during most of my childhood, much more like a "male" presentation. I was aloof as a young child until I started going to school. Then I was very outgoing and got myself into tons of trouble. Eventually, in my teen years, I broke inside (due to abusive reactions to my behavior) and shutdown. I am now very passive, unless I get hyper, which I try very hard to avoid.


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19 Jan 2013, 2:43 am

Still am.
My parents were not involved in my diagnosis.


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chlov
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19 Jan 2013, 7:49 am

No, not at all passive. I was very "active" and aggressive as a child, I'm a bit less now. I could accept approaches only from people I liked (I still do a bit), and I refused to socialize with people I didn't like.



zemanski
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19 Jan 2013, 8:43 am

I was the complete opposite - classic hyperactive tomboy.

My Daughter was passive though - she always had a special friend or two and would play what they wanted to play. The friends were always much more dominant and often older and a couple in particular manipulated her a lot.

I wouldn't say she is shy as such but she is always on the edge of things unless the interaction is 1-1.



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19 Jan 2013, 9:13 am

Active-but-odd since preschool. I did show some aloof tendencies in toddlerhood, but that may have been because I was being sexually abused (my parents had two severely disturbed foster kids and didn't realize the danger they posed to me). But definitely by the time I was five and telling my priest that my toy monkey had a prehensile tail, I was active-but-odd. Only time I ever stop actively initiating interaction is when I'm depressed - and at those times I act more aloof than passive because I tend to reject interaction as well.

I do have trouble meeting social criteria, because my social skills are better than most AS people. In one-on-one interaction when I'm calm and paying attention carefully, I can be fairly socially competent. (I even have a talent for helping people who are feeling sad or scared, and I've been told that I'm sensitive and caring.) But put me in a group, or get me stressed out or distracted, and my social issues emerge. Or lie to me - I have pretty much no lie-detection ability.



zemanski
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19 Jan 2013, 11:14 am

Ettina wrote:
I do have trouble meeting social criteria, because my social skills are better than most AS people. In one-on-one interaction when I'm calm and paying attention carefully, I can be fairly socially competent. (I even have a talent for helping people who are feeling sad or scared, and I've been told that I'm sensitive and caring.) But put me in a group, or get me stressed out or distracted, and my social issues emerge. Or lie to me - I have pretty much no lie-detection ability.


I thought I was fairly socially competent, and I probably am for someone on the spectrum. I'm also told I'm a good listener and caring and sympathetic. My jobs have all been in the "caring" professions and I've been good at them, a lot of my job now involves counseling young people on the spectrum and my boss tells me I'm much better than my confidence in myself suggests and that I always look confident even when she knows I'm shaking inside. I can run groups and workshops, I can work in a small team (the company I work for only employs 8 people), I can organise and give a lecture to 200 people, I can respond with a clear head in what anyone else would call a crisis (unless it's my own)..... but put me in a group that I'm not in control of and I become stressed and hyperactive; I fidget and stim, I shoot my mouth off, I wind up the person in charge, I turn everything possible (and sometimes impossible) into a running gag, I look as if I'm not paying attention (I doodle to focus) and then annoy everyone just as we're coming up to a break by asking something awkward and too pertinent to ignore that sidelines the whole discussion.....

I don't do it deliberately but I can't control it at all, although it does give me a delicious sense of freedom if I can distract myself enough from the anxiety that's causing it which doesn't really give me any incentive to change.

I'm the only person I know to have been asked to leave the room for disruptive behaviour on a teachers' professional development course :oops:

I must have been hell to teach in school - one teacher said to my mother at a parents' evening, "Quite frankly she gets up my nose." To which my wonderful mother replied, " Well, quite frankly, you get up hers!"



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19 Jan 2013, 11:30 am

Kids always came to me and that was how I would make friends. I was easily taken advantage of because I have a weakness where I am told to do things and can be pressured into it. I have always done what others did just to fit in and be like everyone else. I would suppose this effected my AS results so it's off and on I have it but showed enough to warrant a diagnoses. It was plus and minuses in the criteria. Reason why I played with my friend in the summer who lived in another neighborhood was because she initiated it, she called me on the phone, she invited me over to her house, mom would ask me if I want her to come over, invite her to come swimming with us and I always said yes. Then when school started, she got into her normal friends and it was as if we were not friends anymore. I would also join in activities kids were doing. if kids were playing jump rope, I joined in. In 4th grade, I started to just do what others did in the group like copy everything down they write and let them do all the thinking and talking and I just follow along. That made working in groups easier for me.

But I was very bossy as a child and wanted to dominate everything and then I got more passive when I reached my preteens. I would go over to friends houses and ask if they can play, if we got new neighbors and they had kids, I would go over and ask if the kids can play. But I only did it with houses I was familiar with. I only went over to friends houses I was familiar with.

I would say yes and no for me as a kid.


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