Need help with this one re: someone else getting compliments

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Mummy_of_Peanut
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21 Jan 2013, 7:45 am

My daughter has a very strong sense of fairness, as do I, which in some circumstances can seem like envy. When she sees children being chosen for things and they're clearly not the correct choice, then it does get to her. For example, at the Christmas show, her class sang and two children were chosen as soloists. Honestly, one of the children was good, but the other simply can't have been one of the better singers in the class. My daughter realised this and it did upset her. She wasn't angry that she hadn't been chosen, but she was annoyed that this girl had been chosen. She told someone, confidentially, or so she thought (the other soloist, who also happens to be my daughter's best friend). He then told the girl. So, then is seemed like my daughter was being nasty, when she would never have said anything to anyone about it, other than her best friend.


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Ann2011
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21 Jan 2013, 8:14 am

FLmom1 wrote:
My 6 yr old son dx ADHD and PDD NOS has a REALLY hard time when someone else gets a compliment. Its as if his world will crumble....even though he is given compliments at school also at times for instance, he will still get upset when the teacher compliments someone else for something and not him.

I was like this as a child and I still get this feeling when one of my friends is friendly to another. I think it is a form of jealousy, but there is also an element of group dynamics involved which I've always struggled with.
He may feel that he has a special relationship with the teacher and that her interaction with other children is a threat to this relationship. Not sure what to suggest. It's something he'll experience more often as he has more relationships. I think you just have to keep explaining to him that this response is not acceptable and that he has to become aware of people as individuals with their own lives - that he is part of a larger picture.