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WolfieBoi
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02 Feb 2013, 2:12 am

I agree with people just so I can have someone to talk to. When they find out I have nothing to talk about that interests them, they just leave me alone, or put me in an unfavorable category. I'm 23 and in the worst shape of my life. There's absolutely no way that I can continue to live like this! I would much rather read my book than talk to people IRL so I feel that my body language is always saying "OK fine, just leave me alone!" until people get fed up with talking to me and do just that. Anybody got any tips over conquering your fears of people IRL or an I forever alone? :?


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Your Aspie score: 164 of 200
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gigstalksguy
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02 Feb 2013, 8:14 am

Well I'm sorry to hear how to you are struggling with people, I certainly know the feeling of not being able to find commonalities with people, it's something I've experienced because my interests have tended to be deeper and more specialised than most people.

Without knowing much about you, I would suggest you have a think about what your interests are, and why, and think about what it is that makes you passionate about such things. Even if your interests are of the 'geek' type, like physics or mathematics, if you can learn to express your passion about these things people will be more interested in you. It's always good to have your own niche, and in that sense be a little different to most people.

Even when you don't share other people's interests, try to show some interest in those things. I wouldn't do this by asking them a list of questions, but by perhaps start with one question and listen carefully to what they have to say, and then try to base any further questions or comments upon what they've told you so far. Try to get to understand the person behind what it is they're into, and hopefully you will connect in some way with them, by both of you understanding each others passions more.

As for being out of shape, well quite honestly what you look like is not going to affect how socially attractive you are so long as your appearance if not awful. Just take care of your appearance and make the best of what you've got. If you're wanting to loose weight or tone up, then join a gym, or start doing some press-ups etc at home, and this will give you something else to talk about that many people are into!

Really hope that helps, any questions just ask.


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WolfieBoi
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Joined: 25 Oct 2012
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02 Feb 2013, 7:02 pm

Thank you, gigstalksguy, yes that does help.

It's hard for me, I tend to keep my thoughts bottled up inside so when people express interest in me IRL i just blab their ears off about my personal problems!

I'm going to see a therapist so I can have someone to talk to about my anxiety because I really don't have any friends who can help me :(

I suppose it's something. Baby steps and all that.


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Your Aspie score: 164 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 84 of 200


gigstalksguy
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Joined: 30 Jan 2013
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03 Feb 2013, 8:32 am

Well it's good that your taking the first steps of seeing a therapist and seeking support on the forum! I really hope you find your session helps.

I understand how it can feel to have no friends at all, and having to build some sort of social life from scratch - I've been in your shoes. However, starting out socially is so much easier now compared to ten years ago now we have social media like Facebook, and there are various website like meetup where social events are organised, and hopefully you'll find something that suits you.

Just ease your way into socialising gently, and even if you're nervous, be friendly and kind, and then try to learn from the popular, socially skilled people, and see how they interact and see what you can learn from them. You don't want to change your personality but it always helps to broaden your social skills. There are people out there who will really warm to a shy guy who is steadily growing in confidence!


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