Tired of family pressuring me to go back to school....

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WhoKnowsWhy
Snowy Owl
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20 Feb 2013, 12:29 am

Anyone else have this problem? I graduated from a Public Ivy with a high GPA and no student loan debt (had a scholarship), but have been unable to find gainful employment. My family is insistent that I have to go back to school if I'm to have any hope of getting a better job, but I just don't see it and don't feel like going back. I'm stuck between the proverbial rock and a hard place.



JBlitzen
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20 Feb 2013, 2:33 am

What's your degree, etc.? I assume it's some liberal arts thing or social science.

And where are you located? I'm too lazy to hit the back button if it even shows.

Post your resume so we can take a look and offer more useful input.

Hell, you should be posting your resume anyway. You're looking for work, aren't you? You should be marketing yourself like a new soda; sell yourself to everyone you can reach.

I'd also suggest reading the cracked link in my sig. It seems apt.



WhoKnowsWhy
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20 Feb 2013, 9:51 am

JBlitzen wrote:
What's your degree, etc.? I assume it's some liberal arts thing or social science.


Yes. I must be ret*d...I'm really sick of the STEM snobbery around here. STEM is not for everyone!

Quote:
And where are you located? I'm too lazy to hit the back button if it even shows.


VA.

Quote:
Post your resume so we can take a look and offer more useful input.


I've already had several people look over it (in real life, I mean...not on the internet).

Quote:
I'd also suggest reading the cracked link in my sig. It seems apt.


Was the one saying I must offer something to employers meant for me? That's fine, but it seems all employers wants is years of experience, even for entry-level jobs. I can't attain that experience if they won't hire me. And please don't tell me to do volunteer work or unpaid internships...first of all, I already did some in college. Second, I can't afford to do them anymore..I need to be paid.



JBlitzen
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20 Feb 2013, 2:01 pm

So, here's what I take away from your last post: you want money, but you refuse to say what you have to offer in exchange for it, except that complicated, difficult, or high-value skills "aren't for you".

You might want to read that cracked link again.



WhoKnowsWhy
Snowy Owl
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20 Feb 2013, 7:34 pm

JBlitzen wrote:
So, here's what I take away from your last post: you want money,


I'm not asking to be rich (at least not right away)...just to make a comfortable living. That brings me to my next point...most people don't have STEM degrees. Hell, most people don't have any degree. Most people are able to make a decent living. That's all I'm saying...if you accuse me of trying to say anything more than that, you're making a straw man argument.

Quote:
but you refuse to say what you have to offer in exchange for it, except that complicated, difficult, or high-value skills "aren't for you".


Contrary to popular myth, most people on the spectrum aren't savants when it comes to math/science. Many of us are quite hopeless at it.



managertina
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20 Feb 2013, 8:32 pm

I know it is not ideal. But if you want a job fast, go there. Many of us have had to do three or four years of contract work.

Getting more education is not necessarily a bad thing. My brother in law is getting his MBA because it offers a higher earning potential.
I know, cost is a factor and the fact you feel you want to be earning. But, if done sensibly, even if it is for a trade, like clerical stuff and not necessarily STEM, it may be worth your while.


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WhoKnowsWhy
Snowy Owl
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20 Feb 2013, 11:36 pm

managertina wrote:
I know it is not ideal. But if you want a job fast, go there. Many of us have had to do three or four years of contract work.


I've tried placement agencies....they always insist they can help me and then never do.

Quote:
Getting more education is not necessarily a bad thing. My brother in law is getting his MBA because it offers a higher earning potential.
I know, cost is a factor and the fact you feel you want to be earning. But, if done sensibly, even if it is for a trade, like clerical stuff and not necessarily STEM, it may be worth your while.


Maybe, but I've read stories of people with MBA's also being unable to find gainful employment.



JBlitzen
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21 Feb 2013, 12:12 am

WhoKnowsWhy wrote:
JBlitzen wrote:
So, here's what I take away from your last post: you want money,

I'm not asking to be rich (at least not right away)...just to make a comfortable living. That brings me to my next point...most people don't have STEM degrees. Hell, most people don't have any degree. Most people are able to make a decent living. That's all I'm saying...if you accuse me of trying to say anything more than that, you're making a straw man argument.

Quote:
but you refuse to say what you have to offer in exchange for it, except that complicated, difficult, or high-value skills "aren't for you".


Contrary to popular myth, most people on the spectrum aren't savants when it comes to math/science. Many of us are quite hopeless at it.

STEM or not, you seem incapable of explaining how you can create value for anyone's benefit but your own.

Until you can do that, why would anybody hire you?



WhoKnowsWhy
Snowy Owl
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21 Feb 2013, 12:35 am

JBlitzen wrote:
WhoKnowsWhy wrote:
JBlitzen wrote:
So, here's what I take away from your last post: you want money,

I'm not asking to be rich (at least not right away)...just to make a comfortable living. That brings me to my next point...most people don't have STEM degrees. Hell, most people don't have any degree. Most people are able to make a decent living. That's all I'm saying...if you accuse me of trying to say anything more than that, you're making a straw man argument.

Quote:
but you refuse to say what you have to offer in exchange for it, except that complicated, difficult, or high-value skills "aren't for you".


Contrary to popular myth, most people on the spectrum aren't savants when it comes to math/science. Many of us are quite hopeless at it.

STEM or not, you seem incapable of explaining how you can create value for anyone's benefit but your own.

Until you can do that, why would anybody hire you?


You are resorting to straw man arguments, which is why I can't take you seriously.

I never said an employer should hire me ...all I said was that I'm frustrated with my family pressuring me to go back to school and was wondering if anyone could relate or could offer advice on dealing with this matter (and yes it is related to work and finding a job because that is why they want me to go back). If you have nothing to say regarding that matter, then I would suggest you leave the thread.

In all fairness, the other person posting in the thread didn't really catch my point either, but she at least has not resorted to ad hominem attacks and straw man arguments the way you have.



JBlitzen
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21 Feb 2013, 12:59 am

So you don't want to get hired? And you don't want to go back to school?

How would you prefer to support yourself?



WhoKnowsWhy
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21 Feb 2013, 1:12 am

JBlitzen wrote:
So you don't want to get hired?


Didn't say that either. When you have to resort to lying, you have lost the argument.

I'm all for advice that could get me a better job. Based on your posts so far, you'll probably just say that I have to figure it all out myself. If that's really your opinion, then stop posting here...you have nothing to offer. Also, if you adopt that same attitude in other threads, then I would suggest you leave WP altogether. This is not a boot camp...it is a support forum for individuals with a neurological disorder. If you're interested in the former, then I would suggest you go join the military and become a drill sergeant.



managertina
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21 Feb 2013, 1:17 am

Yeah, I kinda missed that part.

And I apologize if I accidentally sounded snarky, which was not my intention.

Dealing with family when they are pressuring you is not one of the easiest things to do. Been there and done that over smaller things than school.

I recommend giving yourself the opportunity to remain calm, and the chance to not answer at the moment of the 'outburst' or argument. Tell them that you can understand their concern. Find a way of arranging discussing it at some other time.

I am not a counselor. But my aunt is a principal who has to do these things, and here are two things she told me that helped me take some really hard things from both family and employers.

The day after a minor meltdown over the way that my aunt and sister redecorated my apartment without consulting me because they truly thought I would love their work, my aunt told me how hurt she was. I was let to know to wait for a day so that I could get my answers through having had time to think about their feelings, while having given some time to work out my own feelings and to work out some logical responses to both sides of the situation. You might even wish, if you can find a way to do so, to restate what you think they have told you. It gives them the knowledge of 'yo've got it' or gives you a wider perspective.

This one has kept me from getting sacked sooner than was warranted. Advice number two. "people are going to tell you things you do not want to hear, and it is up to you to act like it is in your best interests to be gracious and considerate.' It was NOT, I repeat NOT easy for me to learn this one. But it has saved me in many occasions, and made me more receptive to things I might not have known. I know I sound stuffy and pedantic in saying it, but it really did the trick for me.

It is a hard economy, as you well know. So, I can sympathize. What I did was take some low paying jobs to get by, and kept job searching at night. It is exhausting but it paid off.

And no, we are not all STEM. If I were forced into STEM, like through being a doctor or engineer or something, I shudder to think about he people served by my works.



JBlitzen
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21 Feb 2013, 2:29 am

WhoKnowsWhy wrote:
JBlitzen wrote:
So you don't want to get hired?

Didn't say that either. When you have to resort to lying, you have lost the argument.

I'm all for advice that could get me a better job. Based on your posts so far, you'll probably just say that I have to figure it all out myself. If that's really your opinion, then stop posting here...you have nothing to offer. Also, if you adopt that same attitude in other threads, then I would suggest you leave WP altogether. This is not a boot camp...it is a support forum for individuals with a neurological disorder. If you're interested in the former, then I would suggest you go join the military and become a drill sergeant.

Stop attacking people.

If you want help, you have to give a little more information. If all you want is empty commiseration, then you're in the wrong subforum. Please try The Haven instead.



1000Knives
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21 Feb 2013, 3:38 am

I don't see a college degree doing anything in America. HOWEVER, and this is where I wish I had college under my belt, overseas. Overseas lots of jobs require a BA, teaching English for example, guaranteed salary of, say, ¥160000-200000 a month. Teaching English overseas is a hell of a lot better job proposition than using your college degree to work at like Best Buy. Besides the obvious choices like Asia people tend to think of, Saudi Arabia has LOTS of jobs available. Also regardless of jobs, college makes lots of visa applications easier.

Besides that, I don't know what to tell you. Unless your more school involves you becoming a doctor or lawyer, it's not gonna do s**t. You could become a mechanic or plumber, don't pay anyone to teach you, just do DIY or have friends show you, tag along/watch others, etc. This is Obama's "New Economy." But basically, menial hard, but skilled labor, makes decent money now, auto mechanics make like $12 an hour at dealers, machinists can make even more. Or be a doctor or something that by law REQUIRES school. Or if you're really ballsy, start your own business. But no, education doesn't mean anything anymore. United States is the new "Workers Paradise" in that education in the classic sense (liberal arts) is unneeded nowadays. We've reverted back to just learning trades again, and our entire economy is based upon calling people to unclog toilets and deliver pizzas.



BlueMax
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21 Feb 2013, 4:29 am

What exactly IS your degree?? STEM narrows it down but doesn't specify anything to me... if you can explain it here, you can also explain it to employers. ;)



managertina
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21 Feb 2013, 1:44 pm

I would also say that patience is important. Remember, no matter how much you learn, they may still you see you as the little kid that all of us used to be. I know, for me, no matter how much I tell my dad not to be concerned (I am 28 and live 1000km from the rest of my family) he will always call if he knows I have been out and am coming back late. It is just a Dad-ism that I have to accept.

I think that family and peer support is CRUCIAL at times like these, in person or at WP or other online safe places. I personally went through ten months of unemployment and two years of underemployment. That can take a real toll on your self-perception and confidence.

The economy is what it is, and for now, we just have to work within it.

Keep strong, whoknowswhy.

Tina