Have you ever wondered if Aspergers is just an excuse?

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Hoshea
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07 Jan 2007, 4:37 pm

I've been accused of using Aspergers as an alibi for things in the past, which I admit I did, but I honestly thought/sometimes still think it's true. Then I got to thinking-is there an official difference between Aspies and normal people? Or is it just a word used to excuse misbehaviors in personality?

We, as Aspies, should attempt to act normal, or stop using it as an excuse whenever we make a mistake.



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07 Jan 2007, 4:43 pm

Well, yeh we should attempt to fit into NT society sometimes.
but I do think NTs should attempt to be more tolerant of the occasional slip-up in return.


I'm not talking peace-and-love exxagartion style, really.



____, at this stage, I'll settle for them ignoring it rather than making someone's school life a misery because of it.


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Hoshea
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07 Jan 2007, 4:45 pm

What I'm concerned about is when they say we're falsely blaming it on Aspergers, or that we're posing as autistic kids just because there are other people out there who have it more severely.



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07 Jan 2007, 4:46 pm

Yes we look a hell of alot dif to a Normal person, thats why they keep saying are you on "Drugs".... Mostly it is on the inside that we are different...

I don't go round saying I have As for an excuse... In fact the only people who know I have As is everyone on here, my dr, my social worker, mother, her boyfriend - my brother... and that's it...

Quote:
We, as Aspies, should attempt to act normal, or stop using it as an excuse whenever we make a mistake.


Anyone who is who they are should act the way they are, as to fake something your not is even more silly, & we don't use it as an excuse, well think most of us don't...



Hoshea
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07 Jan 2007, 4:48 pm

logitechdog wrote:
Anyone who is who they are should act the way they are, as to fake something your not is even more silly, & we don't use it as an excuse, well think most of us don't...
I didn't mean change who we are, just not acting anti-social or like elitists.



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07 Jan 2007, 4:59 pm

We are introverted types, who prefer the company of our own ideas and thoughts and who recharge by being alone.

Not anti-social, just can't do the Norms of "Social Interaction rules of Normal People",We try & want to be but we just don’t fit, it take’s meeting the right person to finally get your foot in the door, but we attract the bad one’s



alex
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07 Jan 2007, 5:01 pm

I've wondered this before, but then I realized that it's only an excuse if you use it as one. Otherwise, it's just an explanation.


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07 Jan 2007, 5:06 pm

Some people, I imagine, use it as an excuse,but for the rest of us, it's an actual reason. I have never used my AS as an excuse for anything, I have only used it as a reason why I do what I do on the odd occasion is all.


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MelancholyBunny
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07 Jan 2007, 5:23 pm

Are you kidding, it's like the best excuse ever!

Sorry, please excuse the levity.

The way i see it, instead of calling myself stupid in class when the teacher explains something and i'm the only person who doesn't get, who still doesn't get it after several attempts by the teacher and others to explain it, i tell myself that it is not my fault, and that i'm not defective or stupid, but that i think differently and it can't be helped. This does wonders for my self esteem. :wink:

That being said, i detest it when someone blames another for their own bad behaviour, or when someone is shown lenienecy because of a circumstance that has little to do with them. It makes me think of those horrible people, bullies who treat others like dirt, and whose behaviour is excused because they're parents are divorced, or their father drinks too much.

It may be callous and ignorant of me to say this as my parents are happily married and do not consume alcohol excessively, but it really annoys me that people who deliberately misbehave are forgiven. As for bad behaviour in relation to Aspergers or Autism, i am uncertain as to whether this misbehaviour would be considered deliberate, meaning there is no underlying and possible adjustible cause.



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07 Jan 2007, 5:26 pm

I rarely ever use Asperger Syndrome as the reason I did something wrong as now I know what I have, I kinda know how to rectify most things or stop them ever happening. Sometimes however, it still stops me from realising there is a problem in the first place and that is when I say, it is down to Asperger Syndrome, but still not an excuse, because instead of leaving it at that I work on the situation to try and make sure it never happens again.



Hoshea
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07 Jan 2007, 5:29 pm

My problem with saying I have it after acting autistic is that I realize I was acting like an Aspie right after I said something, and immediately say 'I'm autistic, I meant it as a joke' and it sounds like I planned it out.



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07 Jan 2007, 5:37 pm

I don't use it as an excuse.



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07 Jan 2007, 5:43 pm

I don't believe it's an excuse. I spent 20 years diagnosed as having other, more "treatable"' disorders, and was constantly yelled at, punished and berated for not "trying harder to get better." And because I honestly believed that they were correct in their earlier diagnoses, I was trying my absolute hardest to do all the things that would "make me better." I tried and tried for years, and somehow, I never got any better (obviously because I didn't have those disorders and have AS instead). I was always told that it was my fault that I wasn't getting better and that I just wasn't trying hard enough and didn't really want to "get better."

So as someone who spend 20 years trying really hard and not ending up much better in the long run, I have to say that no, it's not an excuse.



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07 Jan 2007, 6:00 pm

alex wrote:
I've wondered this before, but then I realized that it's only an excuse if you use it as one. Otherwise, it's just an explanation.


I agree.



tangenjill
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07 Jan 2007, 6:56 pm

"I've wondered this before, but then I realized that it's only an excuse if you use it as one. Otherwise, it's just an explanation."


I agree, too.



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07 Jan 2007, 7:01 pm

Same here. No one that I know personally offline has ever heard me refer to Asperger's. It's only within the confines of this forum and two others (Neurolands and AVEN) that I make references to being an Aspie. For me, Asperger's Syndrome is simply an explanation for some of the difficulties I have faced in the past and a few of the shortcomings I still have (eg, my inability to decipher other people's nonverbal communication cues).


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