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Raj2442
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

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Joined: 15 Dec 2012
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Posts: 81
Location: Australia

06 Mar 2013, 6:29 am

To my parents, I am just a kid who has nothing to worry about but school and my friends. But I feel like more than that. I feel like I need to help my parents as much as I can. There is me, two other children, my parents, and another kid on the way, and I feel like it is my job to provide as much help as I can, especially in tough times.

But I am repeatedly told that I am only a kid. That I shouldn't worry about the adult stuff, and that it's not my job to help them as best as I can.

But after being told millions of times, I still feel like I should be treated different than I am now. I feel like an aid/helper to my parents. I feel like it's my duty, my job. I like helping people, and there's no one that wants help.

I just have trouble accepting the fact that they don't want my help. What should I do to get rid of these feelings?



goldfish21
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Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 41
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Posts: 22,490
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

06 Mar 2013, 6:43 am

Help.

Do it in whatever ways you can that don't involve you offering help and them rejecting your offer and telling you you're just a kid etc.

Ie clean stuff up, do chores, run errands etc - do things you know need to be done just to lighten the workload and stress load on your parents. You'll know you're helping and can stop stressing about the feelings you're having now, and they may or may not realize your helping but they'll have less to do and life will be easier, stress lower etc.

I was very similar when I was younger, so I get it. My twin brother and I knew that there wasn't an abundance of money around even when we were ~5 years old - acutely aware of the realities of the adult world, so even though we never stated so & have never said anything about it in the 25 years since, we did things like opt for activities that we enjoyed that we knew were much lower cost things for our parents to pay for, and declined offers to enrol in really expensive sports.. because we knew financial times were tough and that it simply wasn't going to be good for the household budget. When we were 10 we decided to get an after school newspaper route to split. We delivered newspapers 3 days a week for 4 1/2 years or so, and upon turning 15 each got jobs at different local fast food restaurants. We certainly weren't financially independent, but we did what we could to earn what we wanted for ourselves w/o adding a financial burden to our parents because we always just felt that was what we ought to do.

Perhaps a part time job is something you should consider for all of the same reasons, and the countless other benefits? You don't have to tell your parents you'd like one in order to relieve any financial stresses for them, just that you want one to get out and give it a try, make your own money, have some time away from your siblings, learn some new things, and maybe save up for something you want etc.