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y-pod
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16 Mar 2013, 4:09 am

Nearly my whole family's introverted and I never really think much about what being extroverted means. Both DH and I are INTP, I'm aspie and he's borderline. Both of our kids are on the spectrum and I thought they're introverted for sure. However I have realized recently I might be completely wrong about one of them. He likes to jabber and laugh. Everything seems to be funny to him. He hang out with his friends (yes he made all these friends by himself) at school all the time. I've never witnessed him being shy around strangers. i.e. when he was little if he meet someone new, he's walk up to them and introduce himself, and ask their names. Last year he was chosen in his class to do a speech in a public speaking contest and he did well. He couldn't sleep when little brother is away, because he was lonely. 8O I thought for sure he was joking, but now I think he might be serious. He told me he like being the center of attentions and often do silly things to attract them. He is definitely weird and doesn't communicate that well, but he does seem to be both extroverted and have poor social skills. Is that too strange?

I'm not sure if the extroverted thing would help him cope as an aspie, or just make him even weirder and can't even relate to other aspies.

Can anyone relate? I think I need to learn about how to raise extroverted children. The only E people in my life are all people I disliked and tried to avoid as much as possible. I adore my son of course and hope he becomes successful and (gasp) popular as he grows. *I think he's ENTP.


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alakazaam
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16 Mar 2013, 4:59 am

I am glad to hear that he has the courage to be extroverted despite his introverted nature. I know many people that freed themselves from their shell. It's a matter of confidence and happiness. You son is very confident.



Jensen
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16 Mar 2013, 5:06 am

Your son sound very charming.
A psychologist and leader of body-mind workshops told me, that the seemingly most extraverted often are the most introverted.



Urist
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16 Mar 2013, 5:22 am

Extroversion is a human trait, and it can apply to people regardless of things like AS. If he prefers the company of other people to himself, then it'll probably have him develop social skills to a far greater degree than most people with an ASD would so if that's what he likes, then let him. Don't get introversion confused with shyness however, it's quite possible to not be very interested in being social but still be confident when you actually are. He doesn't sound introverted anyway, and that's pretty neat really. By the way, categorising everyone by MBTI is pretty silly as they're very much pseudo-psychology, and these 'personality types' don't even stay the same for many people over the years.


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chlov
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16 Mar 2013, 7:17 am

Extroversion is a personality trait, autism is not connected to personality but it's a mental disorder.
My sibling with childhood disintegrative disorder is an extrovert. The fact is that he can't talk to people because he's non-verbal.
I'm not an extrovert, but neither the stereotyped definition of introversion completely fits me. I talk to people a lot (whoever the person is) because I have the impulse to do so, and it's something I can't control. But I do not want to make a discussion with those people, I just have this impulse to talk and talk and talk. I neither want to make friends, I alredy have a few friends, and I don't need more.
Even if I don't completely fit the definition of "extroversion", and neither of "introversion", people usually tell me I look more like an introvert.



MathGirl
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16 Mar 2013, 9:10 am

Yes, I'm extroverted. I constantly seek out new people and situations. However, I also try to impose my own structure on certain things, including social interactions, in order to make them more predictable and less overwhelming for myself. I become the most outgoing in highly predictable and structured settings, such as lectures or class discussions, especially when I've read the material ahead of time and know what will be talked about. I love that feeling of knowing :)


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y-pod
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16 May 2014, 4:17 am

Update: It turned out that I'm on the extroverted side, too and share the same MBTI type with my son (ENTP). 8O That tells how oblivious I have been, eh? I think I was quite biased. As I said I only know my mom to be extroverted, and she's nearly 100% extroverted. I'm not sure if she can think without talking out loud. :) She can make friends with anybody who has at least a bit of cognitive function. Compared to her I feel very introverted indeed. Even though I keep thinking everyone else in the family is too quiet and boring. So I guess the good news is people haven't been not telling me stuff. They simply don't need to share. The bad news is now I know my poor ability to focus and think deeply is not caused by my medications. I'm not who I always thought I am.

*My son is doing very well in school right now. He's energetic, witty, confident and generally happy.


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KingdomOfRats
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16 May 2014, 4:35 am

theres nothing wrong with being a extroverted aspie.
have personaly lived with multiple people who were extrovert AND severely autistic so if it can be done at our level,then it can most definitely be found within aspergers.
perhaps extroverts are less likely to come to wrongplanet so will skew the view of extroverted autism because they will have a better chance of having a social outlet for their views whereas introverts are more likely to go online for any interaction.


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Schizpergers
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16 May 2014, 4:49 am

I can be very extraverted but I can be introverted as well depending on the situation.
For example I like going to bars and parties and talking to everyone. I usually pick jobs that require lots of socialization. I seem to make friends easily. I'm still socially awkward because I don't understand others but I don't really care either. I have often been accused of being annoying. I would rather annoy people than care what they think though.
However I hate working with others. I do need lots of alone time as well, but I also like social time or else I will eventually get bored.
I get what your saying about extraversion making it hard to relate to other aspies as well. I have never felt like I related to someone else in my life. I don't feel connected with other people at all.

Also the MBTI is a bunch of nonsense. I get a different score everytime I take it.


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sonataform
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16 May 2014, 4:58 am

I've met extraverted aspies before. one guy was an artist and he talked so much he didn't give much of a chance for other people to talk. I thought that was interesting because I think that I am a little bit like that myself sometimes. I like to talk about things that I am really interested in so does that make me extraverted about those things?



KingdomOfRats
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16 May 2014, 5:45 am

sonataform wrote:
I've met extraverted aspies before. one guy was an artist and he talked so much he didn't give much of a chance for other people to talk. I thought that was interesting because I think that I am a little bit like that myself sometimes. I like to talk about things that I am really interested in so does that make me extraverted about those things?

that doesnt automaticaly mean extroversion,he coud have just lacked social awareness and boundaries as part of his ASD.


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RainbowFairy
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16 May 2014, 6:47 am

Well your son is neat.

And aren't people with Asperger's Syndrome seen as kind of extroverted in some ways?
Like wanting to talk a lot, even if talking too much and not listening enough? And talking about what you're passionate about, even if other people don't care?

It seems like what I heard about people on the high functioning autistic spectrum seems like extroversion but with social skills that could have improving. Of course not everyone with Asperger's is extroverted. But it seems like many aspies are very talkative, but sometimes just violate social norms when we do talk a lot. Like violating social skills without realizing it. And that it's listening skills or paying attention to other things other than what we're saying that we need to do.

I've always been very talkative. And perhaps extroverted to a socially awkward fault. Like tending to be naive about meeting people.
For some of us, it seems like instead of being being too worried about doing something wrong when talking and meeting people and becoming socially anxious. A lot of us it seems like don't worry enough and though we socialize a lot, we make lots of mistakes without realizing it and don't spend enough time thinking about it. Just going out there and saying things without thinking has always been a problem for me.

I think a problem for me a lot of my life is that I've both been socially awkward and extremely extroverted. Doing things wrong and making lots of social mistakes without realizing it. And being naive enough to think that I was leaving a good impression maybe I would have actually been better socially if I were more shy and withdrawn.



ASPartOfMe
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16 May 2014, 4:44 pm

Introverts prefer limited socialization and often get stimulated by solo intellectual pursuits such as reading.

People on the spectrum have limited natural ability to socialize (at least with typical people)

Extraverts are stimulated by socializing. The would get bored if they had to read all day.


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MOWHAWK1982
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16 May 2014, 5:47 pm

Urist wrote:
Extroversion is a human trait, and it can apply to people regardless of things like AS. If he prefers the company of other people to himself, then it'll probably have him develop social skills to a far greater degree than most people with an ASD would so if that's what he likes, then let him. Don't get introversion confused with shyness however, it's quite possible to not be very interested in being social but still be confident when you actually are. He doesn't sound introverted anyway, and that's pretty neat really. By the way, categorising everyone by MBTI is pretty silly as they're very much pseudo-psychology, and these 'personality types' don't even stay the same for many people over the years.


That's right, it says NT social skills, not to be confused with AS social skills otherwise your statement is normativ. There is no shell to break through, just a human being who gives a flying fart about human company, at least about those which is achievable. :roll: You could say NT social kills. :skull:



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16 May 2014, 6:02 pm

i'm still very new to this as I have only recently been diagnosed, but have read what I can over the last year or so and found it interesting how the understanding of autism has changed over time. In the past it was seen as a learning disability, then the recognition of aspergers and higher functioning autism challenged that. It made me wonder if one day if it will change again to encompass a wider range of people, possibly even those that don't have social difficulty (even though it is a defining feature).

What if it is the case that the understanding of aspergers is based on the people that run into the most difficulties and therefore come under clinical observation, what if it is their natural introverted/low confidence nature combined with the autistic traits that causes the difficulties that have been studied over the years, rather than just the neurological differences. For some people not understanding the social rules makes them extremely anxious, but for others that same deficit actually makes them fearless when it comes to social situations. Purely anecdotal, but throughout my life I have always had been friends with people that on the surface are the complete opposite to me, where I am extremely reserved they will be extremely outgoing, yet somehow we would be similarly weird and on the same wavelength. I probably haven't explained this well and its just a theory