Your thoughts on growing out of Aspergers

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You are probably right, considering that you're older than me. What precisely do you mean by 'rage episode'? I'm curious to see if I brought that on myself by accident. Anyway, I agree with what you say about behaviour. However, I do disagree slightly that taking an NT-like internal approach, in moderation, is not useful sometimes. My logic is that if you can't think like the people you are interacting with, you can't understand them. I'm curious to know your opinions on the relationship between bipolar symptoms and 'fighting' AS.

This is the best article I've found on the topic (in my opinion, at least):

http://www.forbes.com/sites/emilywillin ... of-autism/

Not sure if I belive it is entirely possible to grow out of AS, as from my understanding its a brain difference however I think it is possible to be less effected by it I have heard of multiple people experiancing a reduction of most major autism symptoms and I don't really have meltdowns and such like I used to unless I am on prescription meds like anti-depressants or klonopin apparently but thats worse. I mean for all I know I might be perfectly functional right now if it wasn't for the anxiety, depression and PTSD but still with the autism but I don't really know. It could be you grew into it and it doesn't cause much difficulty anymore.

But it is really up to you if you want to identify as being on the spectrum or not, if you don't think the shoe fits no reason to wear it.

I tend to agree

It's evidently very important for some people to get the autism out of their system so that's up to them

I don't mind it personally

It keeps a lot of unpleasant people at bay so in that respect it's a good thing

I agree very good article.
I have grown out of it mostly, however people who know about autism and the symptoms well are able to pick it in my especially on bad days.
Mostly people just think im a bit weird but they dont know anything about autism.

It is possible for some: while i have "grown out" of most of the social problems, bar not having a girlfriend and having problems making new social connections., i have seen other people here on the forums totally incapable of "growing out of it".

The question is pointless without context.

Doesn't a person's ability to 'grow out of it' depend on having the acceptance of some kind of peer group though?

If you are never accepted into a peer group how on earth are you meant to start acting 'peer-appropriate'?

Where are your role models coming from, where is the positive reinforcement coming from?

that's like expecting an orang-utang to start acting like a chimp just because it's got older and 'should have learned what to do by now'

Can I ask do you have a group of friends?

I think people who castigate others for being immature/childish/not able to control aspects of their Aspergers are often receiving a far higher degree of general acceptance from the people around them in the first place

it is how a person's environment treats a person that will most strongly affect their behaviour in my opinion and if no one has ever included me in a peer group there's no way I was ever going to learn how to be like my peers!

As the brain wiring is different in autism, there are some areas with overconnectivity and some with underconnectivity, I don't believe you can grow out of it.

However, perhaps as a child, with the right intervention and help you could possibly create alternative pathways in the brain to send the information along. Otherwise I believe it's using intellectual skills to cope rather than NT tuition, you cannot grow out of it, you just could possibly adapt better. But you would never be NT.

Agreed.

Littlebee (me) wrote:

"People are not socially maladjusted just because they were born that way."

and you wrote.

"Er I think you'll find they are."

Is the quoted sentence what you were replying to? A baby is not born socially adjusted. It is learned.

You also seem to be suggesting that just because by your reading of what I wrote I do not seem to agree with you, then I am not on the spectrum so do not know what I am talking about:-)

Thanks for the links. I did look that material over, but to me it was kind of simplistic. Yes, people do have different kinds of brain function and it can be genetic, but basically the brain functions of human beings is more similar than not, so (to me) it makes sense to look at it from this angle. Is it possible for a person to socially adjust and yet still maintain the integrity of the basic brain structure with the perhaps profound benefits of his unique abilities of function.

Yes, I agree with the general consensus on this thread, that a person's basic brain structure, meaning genetic, will never change, but a person can and will change with learning. His mind will change. Then the label begins to lose such significance unless some kind of beneficial application of its use can be found. Though ti may sound completely matter of fact, we, or at least I, am speaking in a kind of code here, It may be necessary to take a leap in order to be able to completely understand. Another expression: It will all come out in the wash::: .or-- Do not let the left hand know what the right hand is doing:-) Love, littlebee.

You've lost me completely as to what the point is that you are making

Peoples' brains differ greatly and their ability to change their behaviour differs greatly too

You seem to be placing unrealistic expectations on others

What code are you speaking in?

Some call it "the green language," but sorry, I got carried away. In any case, yes, some babies will have more difficulty adapting than other babies because of genetic brain function. With this I definitely agree, but psychological factors combined with brain function will affect the ability of a particular child to adapt. If a person thinks his problems are just because he was born with a unique brain, he will get stuck there. His main problem is really because of what he learned.. The key point I am trying to make is that trauma is behind a lot of people's maladjustment, and yes, the way their brain is designed plays into it, but if the psychological component is pushed under the rug then there is no way completely out. To be completely out is to be free, to enjoy and utilize the benefits and gift of a very unique brain.

I have a lot more to say. This is just touching on the subject, and I will continue trying to present this point, if the subject comes up, in whatever discussion I am participating. Also, I am not expecting everyone to understand or even be interested, and I would like to acknowledge that change can be very difficult. It was next to impossible for me, but I think because of my experience I can present material in such a way as to make it easier for someone else.

Having a brain that functions in a different/slower way than the average person has caused me to develop psychological problems as a result of people rejecting and being intolerant towards me. So there is a combination of the non-standard design and action of my brain plus the knock-on psychological effect of how you get treated when your brain isn't behaving in the standard way

Even if you were to cure me of all the psychological problems though the basic difference/defectiveness of my brain would still remain and still be causing me problems with other people who were expecting me to act in a more normal way

I'm convinced that a lot of the time I'm having this type of conversation with people whose brains are only mildly affected by their ASD etc hence they think it's far easier to change and improve than it is for others. They assume everyone else is like them when we're not.

There's no textbook case of any condition that should be used as a baseline against which we should all be compared.

It's like saying 'Einstein had Aspergers and he was a genius therefore all people with Aspergers should be a genius too and if they aren't they just aren't trying hard enough'

Which is plainly ludicrous!

Like i said, some do, some don't. Some aspies think they are helpless, some aspies are helpless. Some are high functioning and whine about small things, some are low functioning and are in need of serious help. (i could go on).

Some use that wet thing inside the skull to analyse forms of social interaction to learn how to behave themselves in society - studying people is handy. Going out to pubs and clubs as a youth and always comming home alone revealed to me that there is something i were lacking so i started to look at what people did.



For me, it came from Startrek The Next Generation. Having parents also helped.



Yes. The amount is decreasing with age though.



Some people like me just reject societys norms and live independent lives as outsiders and are fully happy with that. I do not drive, i hardly ever drink, i do not like sports - i do not even have a TV and haven't seen TV since december when i visited my parents. People call me weirdo - but honestly i do not care.

It comes down to this: It is your life and you chose what to do with it and with who you want to spend time with. What other people (that you do not want to spend time with) think really does not matter.

You've contradicted yourself there

The first half of your post is saying 'If you study NTs enough you can learn to be like them' then the second half says 'Just be as weird as you like and to hell with what anyone else thinks!'

So which strategy is it that you are recommending?

I completely agree with your point. So are we to divide people here into Einsteins and stupids (and the inbetweens:-), and who is to do it? Each 'category' (depending upon who puts whom into what category] will do the division differently, plus also, smart people can become rather stupid and behave rather stupidly. I know cause I was kind of smart,even very smart, and I did become really quite stupid...but recently am starting to smarten up a bit, and that is a wonderful feeling, as I cannot be me without doing that....

In terms of a baseline---everybody has his own subjective baseline for measuring anything and everything....

"Even if you were to cure me of all the psychological problems though the basic difference/defectiveness of my brain would still remain and still be causing me problems with other people who were expecting me to act in a more normal way."

Don't have time to go more deeply right now, but it is your opinion, not mine, that your brain is defective, and I do not buy the story that your brain is causing your problems. It is in my opinion probably your mind, meaning your way of thinking. love, littlebee

p.s. you are assuming it was easy for me to change. Actually it was bizarrely difficult and seemingly impossible. I have done the impossible, little by little, one step at a time. It was very difficult and painful....and I have and/or had all kinds of impairments and additional trauma on top of childhood trauma along the way, though in some respects I was also fortunate. It took a long time.... bear in mind I am over seventy, but I think for someone else it could take less time if that person received certain information, though it still might be kind of difficult. I am willing to share/unfold what I, myself, have discovered, but would like to go slow..

Last edited by littlebee on 21 Mar 2013, 3:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.