Undiagnosed Aspie and going though a divorce ...HELP!

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eegore
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23 Mar 2013, 6:57 pm

I was in an abusive relationship for 27 years that finally is ending in a divorce. The past 20 years of the marriage was marked with long sessions of verbal abuse and exhaustion from the effects. At on point she nearly killed me with suffocation by throwing me face down on the floor and laying on me were here abundant body weight. She controlled every aspect of my life, even smashed a lot of my personal belongings worth approximately $8000.00.
The last straw was when she threatened to slice my throat when she said I better not talk back or "smart off" to her.
I left and I was afraid she would hunt me down after I left for a week. I reviewed the wiki sites and and the symptoms they described and finally realized what was happening. Now she is trying to use the court system to make sure I am under her thumb continuously in the financial sense. My lawyer is not helping and I may have to find another. I am totally lost on where to get help legally and the agencies are not available for men who have endured prolonged domestic abuse. I am in the states need to know who to get in touch with before she abuses me financially as well. If anyone is in Illinois and knows of any agencies that may help, it would be much appreciated.



kate123A
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23 Mar 2013, 7:07 pm

get a diagnosis and a restraining order.

Tell new lawyer about the abuse and get some counseling about the abuse.



MaKin
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23 Mar 2013, 7:36 pm

you may want to start here, at the 'national adult protective services association' to ask for help or resources for you to turn to.


http://www.apsnetwork.org/Abuse/illinois.html


also, i suggest you take matters into your own hands. go to your local mental health facility to request a referral for a diagnosis. get a new lawyer. speak with social services and adult protective services and let them understand what you are capable of and not capable of doing as far as managing your own finances, medication (if you take any) and self-care. if you can manage your own needs, it will be difficult for her to get legal guardianship over you and your affairs.

*a later added edit::: it takes a court order to get power of attorney or guardianship over another adult. she would need to prove enough of a case for your need of her care, which would require having you professionally assessed by a doctor appointed by the court. it's not very easy. and that is a good thing and in your favor.

if she puts hands on you in any way that is violent or restrains you, call the police as soon after the incident as possible.



Last edited by MaKin on 23 Mar 2013, 8:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

thomas81
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23 Mar 2013, 8:00 pm

ugh, sounds like an ex girlfriend of mine that I shacked up with for about 4 months. She suffered from personality disorder. She beat me up, threatened to kill me and also used blackmail to financially extort me.

Abusive relationships are hell. Do everything you can to sever ties with her asap if you haven't already. Sorry I can't offer any practical advice. Best wishes, though.


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whirlingmind
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23 Mar 2013, 8:51 pm

Many of these are UK sites but the advice will be the same:

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/domest ... en/MY00557

http://www.esteemmen.co.uk/

http://www.mind.org.uk/blog/7358_speaki ... c_violence

http://www.trynova.org/crime-victim/rig ... tAodF3QAJg

http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/domestic_violence.html

Also, here is a specialist men's divorce lawyer in your part of America:

http://www.mens-divorce.com/

Quote:
Our Metro-Detroit office in Southfield services the southeastern Michigan region. Please contact us for a free phone consultation at 248-356-ADAM (2326)

Divorce Attorneys Protecting Men’s Rights
One of Michigan’s Largest Divorce and Family Law Practices

The American Divorce Association for Men (ADAM) in Southfield, Michigan, is a group of highly qualified attorneys who advocate for men’s rights in divorce, child custody and parenting time, paternity, support, property settlement, post judgment modifications, and other family law matters. Our philosophy since 1988 has been aggressive, diligent, and uncompromising representation of our clients.

Men involved in family law disputes need strategic guidance and professional decision making through times that can be extremely stressful. The issues of husbands and fathers are part of an equation that demands recognition from the courts, as well as from other lawyers, wives, mothers, children, and all who are affected by family law issues. Our clients benefit from a team of compassionate and skilled family law attorneys who have experienced countless successful mediations and trials.

We are dedicated to being Michigan's leading divorce attorneys for men and practice a policy of integrity in all our dealings. Our approach is to listen, return calls promptly, keep our clients prepared and informed, and understand their priorities and concerns.

While we cannot promise specific results, as a client, you can expect ethical, professional service tailored to your unique family law situation.


Here is a link to Google search on divorce information in Illinois:

http://www.google.co.uk/#hl=en&gs_rn=7& ... 00&bih=888

Here is information on autism in Illinois: http://www.autismillinois.org/Resources ... tions.html

Here is a Google search on autism assessment in Illinois.

http://www.google.co.uk/#hl=en&sclient= ... 00&bih=888

Hope some of it helps you.


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