Page 1 of 4 [ 51 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4  Next

The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,872
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

16 Apr 2013, 4:25 am

Signs mean nothing, really. Whether they are "signs of interest" or "signs of no interest" - they are no guarantee of accurate interpretation no matter how strong and obvious they appear.

Following my own advice on http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp5335932.html#5335932

I have been already being confused as hell in my offline approaches lol

Apparently, some women probably find pleasure in just confusing men

Ego vampires or something, or just for the fun of it.

Here are the three f*****g cases, all in the gym:

Case 1:
A mid-30 woman, I 've first met her on a saturday early in the gym in the cycling part, she was just in the next machine and I've just said 'good day' to her, she replied with a smile, introduced her name and started the talk with me.

The talk turned out sexually humorous in no time, as she was telling me of a metrosexual member in very very tight pants who has been constantly trying to approach her, and telling me in detail how he's always scratching his ****** and his ***** every time. She was very boldly descriptive of the whole scratching thing and she told me about other funny... borat-like scratching stories.

The next time I saw her, I wasn't daring to scratch anything near her and I was like "look how my hands are floating far!", she laughed hard at that and she was like "no, you're a real man, not like those metrosexuals" while slightly sliding her hand all along my side shoulder :o - that unexpected move almost gave me a boner.

To make this long story shorter - we've exchanged numbers, we've added each other on fb, she even gave me her home address, and our conversations in the following days went even naughtier at times to include obvious sexual innuendo of masturbation, oral sex, tattoos on certain parts, and even ejaculation - all that with occasional few flirts and some shoulder touching at times.

She's a certified yoga instructor, she even 'taught' me some... "yoga moves" -____- and more naughty comments followed, mostly from her.

How else as a male I am supposed to interpret all that other than sexual interest? But I was wrong.

One time, her friend once came in (i was on the next machine) asking her how was her weekend, and she responded "I was with my fiancé and...".


She's FUKKING engaged!!

(And I never saw her wearing the ring)

So all those signs of hers meant nothing! It was all just...talk! Otherwise she wouldn't mention her fiancé in front of me.


Case 2:
A late-20th woman, she's the 'innocent shy-looking' type - you know, the "teehee!" type of woman who giggles in discreet way and getting all red at anything. I've introduced myself to her and she introduced herself with her full name: R. C. (I am just displaying first letters).
That woman was following me everywhere, often asking me for help (even tho I am no coach!).

Every time I look at her, I find her looking at me and quickly looks away and giggles, like admitting she was caught looking at me. And every time I talk to her, her friend just says hi to me and goes away telling her she's going to do something else or "I am leaving you two to talk", with a wink or smirky smile to her or both to us, she often got red and giggled while looking at me when her friend does that. She even gave me her number after few days.

How else as a male I am supposed to interpret all that other than real interest and that something is going on? But I was wrong, again.

I couldn't find that woman's profile on facebook in any way (small investigation is always necessary), she never mentioned her fb so I've never asked her nor I've told her I was trying to find her page because I didn't want to sound like stalking her, so I gave up finding her fb until I've learned the full name of her friend - I could find that one on fb and looked up into her displayed friend list (without adding her) to find R.C , her fb was R. C. M., I wondered why she would never mention her full composite family name "C.M". After going into her pictures I found out that M. is her husband's family name.

She's FUKKING married!!

(no ring either)

and the pics with her husband are recently dated.


Case 3:
A mid-20 woman, I've met that first on okcupid, her profile was very interesting so I've contacted her, few messages were exchanged, I got even her number and sexual innuendo was later involved in the texting conversations.

She turned out to be living in my area and a member of the same gym!

I didn't recognize her on okc at first (well, she's portraying her self as 3 x thinner in pics, old pics and perfect angles) but after meeting her for real after the okc chat, I quickly recalled her noticeable big red earphones that she never took off, I always remember those big flashing red earphones. She always attend the cardio section, she walks on the treadmill with her earphones on and she never looks left and right.

I never attempt to talk to women wearing earphones but I poked this one to say hi to her because she texted me to do so when I first see her.

Anyway, later she told me that she was kinda upset that was never been noticed by me in real life before okc, she thinks that I am only acknowledging her presence now because of the sexual innuendo in our textings (hence thinking i am just after her hoping for getting easy sex) and she thinks that I don't really find her that attractive, she told me she saw me talking with other women before but never to her hence assuming she's not attractive to me.

I was like "Excuse me?? but you always wore those huge earphones! I never talk to anyone wearing earphones!"

She was like "And so what? You should have maned-up and talked to me anyway if you really found me attractive"

How else as a male I am supposed to interpret that she wanted to be approached? I thought she didn't want to, but I was wrong, again.

Which means....

She's FUKKING always wearing huge red earphones that almost screaming "I Don't want to be bothered!" in the gym, she never looks left or right (just on the terminal) and yet she expects guys there to FUKKING MAN-UP and approach her anyway! Wtf?



Women.....

Share your FUKKING signs stories, guys.



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 16 Apr 2013, 9:13 am, edited 2 times in total.

appletheclown
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Apr 2013
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,378
Location: Soul Society

16 Apr 2013, 6:58 am

The girlfriends of the guys I know at the college I flunked out of do the same thing. They hit on me in front of their boyfriends to try and figure out what kind of girl I like so they can hook me up or sometthing, like it is going to work when you are sitting on your boyfriends lap...
I mean I am not so keen on visual flirtation or social cues, but when someone physically and verbally flirts with you to try and figure you out, it gets weird.



appletheclown
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Apr 2013
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,378
Location: Soul Society

16 Apr 2013, 7:02 am

appletheclown wrote:
The girlfriends of the guys I know at the college I flunked out of do the same thing. They hit on me in front of their boyfriends to try and figure out what kind of girl I like so they can hook me up or something, like it is going to work when you are sitting on your boyfriends lap...
I mean I am not so keen on visual flirtation or social cues, but when someone physically and verbally flirts with you to try and figure you out, it gets weird.
I mean when they are in front of their boyfriends, if a single lady physically flirted or verbally flirted with me, I would like it and be able to pick up on it.



Schneekugel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jul 2012
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,612

16 Apr 2013, 7:26 am

I was whondering that what you saw as a sign, always was about "sexual talk" as you called it. So most of my friends are male, and if the topics fit, they to each other about other peoples habbits .... as well, also about sexual topics. But none of those are homosexual, and as far as I know its pretty normal for guys not to think further if you are now talkign about something sexual to someone else or not. According to you, from now on I should avoid such topics and our thoughts to it, simply because one of the friends (me) is a girl and so all other would have to think I wanted to flirt with them, when also sharing my oppinion as it is normal with friends. While on the other side none of them ever would have the idea, that a guy responding to some other guys "Wow, what do you think about J-Los butt." never had the idea, that they wanted to flirt with them.

But I agree with you, that this signs stuff is nonsense, because humans are no machines, so there can be no signs that fit for half of the world population.

If it helps, I also stepped into a lots of such traps, and the best solution I could find was talking as open as I can. So next time you are not sure if someone flirts with you, I would simply ask. Its not "pretty" because you are expected not to talk directly about such topics, but I havent found a better solution. At least I know wahts happening around me, instead of always asking myself: "In which way was that meant...."



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,872
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

16 Apr 2013, 7:44 am

Schneekugel wrote:
I was whondering that what you saw as a sign, always was about "sexual talk" as you called it.


Reread my post well and you wouldn't be wondering.

Quote:
If it helps, I also stepped into a lots of such traps, and the best solution I could find was talking as open as I can. So next time you are not sure if someone flirts with you, I would simply ask. Its not "pretty" because you are expected not to talk directly about such topics, but I havent found a better solution. At least I know wahts happening around me, instead of always asking myself: "In which way was that meant...."


Yea, this can do, I did that when I was using dating sites.



spongy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2010
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,055
Location: Patiently waiting for the seventh wave

16 Apr 2013, 9:22 am

Some women enjoy flirting when theres no plan of going further than that ,as long as it doesnt go too far.
Heck I´ve been meeting people at bars with a beer in hand so its usually light conversation and its not rare to start teasing each other lightly to see how the other person reacts, even among male friends(you say something that could be seen as inappropiate, someone points it out and tries to keep the conversation going down that route... I need to get more comfortable about this sort of thing so its mostly a learning experience.)


One of the first things we do however is ask each others status to avoid any "signs" but it may look a bit odd on a gym so dont try to do that



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,872
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

16 Apr 2013, 9:41 am

spongy wrote:
Some women enjoy flirting when theres no plan of going further than that ,as long as it doesnt go too far.
Heck I´ve been meeting people at bars with a beer in hand so its usually light conversation and its not rare to start teasing each other lightly to see how the other person reacts, even among male friends(you say something that could be seen as inappropiate, someone points it out and tries to keep the conversation going down that route... I need to get more comfortable about this sort of thing so its mostly a learning experience.)


One of the first things we do however is ask each others status to avoid any "signs" but it may look a bit odd on a gym so dont try to do that


*holding towel in hand* "hey you, is that stuff too heavy for you baby?"

Yeah, odd.



Vectorspace
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Oct 2012
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 903
Location: Germany

16 Apr 2013, 11:10 am

I've had similar experiences, but fortunately, I learned about their boyfriends a bit earlier (which is probably because I'm very slow at approaching).

I don't know what helps here... except avoid talking to strangers.



wester13
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 12 Apr 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 69

16 Apr 2013, 11:31 am

i dont really understand women this seems like a case of flirting the three cases the first guy mentioned.how do neurotypicals deal with this case then?? 8O



Homer_Bob
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Jan 2009
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,562
Location: New England

16 Apr 2013, 12:40 pm

Oh my god, that's typical of women today. I'll share a short story. I've worked with the same woman for five years. She had a liking for me very quickly. We opened up to each other, we talked daily. She went so far as to hugging me. She even told me numerous times what a sweet heart I was and that any girl would be lucky to have me. I even felt comfortable enough to hug her back and god knows how hard it is for me to share physical contact with another person. I opened up to her about by aspergers and everything. For five years I've wanted her. She did have a boyfriend when I met her and they were together for two years before they broke up. Of course I thought she was single but in a week she was already seeing someone else because I heard it from others. It didn't seem serious, I was even able to accept the fact that she was dating him. Also every time she talked, she never mentioned him. Even at times she even made it sound like she was single like when she would ask me if I had any hot dates. I'd say no and she's say, "me neither."

One day I had the courage to ask to hang out with her and she was very excited about it. Of course she didn't f*****g mention him or give me any idea it would be a problem. On the day we are suppose to hang out, she calls me at the last minute and cancels and says he felt uncomfortable about the whole situation. She LIVED with him the whole time. If I would have known she was his live in girlfriend, god knows I wouldn't have asked and I wouldn't have wasted my time.

Oh it gets better. He was a department manager of the same company we both worked for but he was at a different store. Well sure enough, two months later he gets transferred to our store so he is both my boss and her boss. Of course with him now there, nothings the same. She sticks to him like glue, even takes her f*****g lunches with him and on a occasion will only greet me for about two minutes and than not speak to me for the rest of the day. Every week I have to see those two f*****g flaunt that they are together. It's so unprofessional to be f*****g your boss. It makes me sick and I hope he gets f*****g transferred out again. Luckily I will be quitting that job in the fall to do another one so I only have a few months left but that woman will never know how much false hope she gave me.


_________________
"The less I know about other people's affairs, the happier I am. I'm not interested in caring about people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. The best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes."


Last edited by Homer_Bob on 16 Apr 2013, 12:54 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Nissanfan84
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 11 Apr 2013
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 64

16 Apr 2013, 12:43 pm

case #1 would have made me furious and caused me to withdraw for several months...

That s**t drives me completely crazy.!



mikassyna
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2013
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,319
Location: New York, NY

16 Apr 2013, 12:55 pm

I'm a woman and I really feel for you guys. I know there are really screwed up things females to do males in the world of hooking up, and vice versa. Unfortunately it becomes a vicous cycle. One dysfunctional person sets off a cascade of dysfunction from every person they meet thereafter, because each interaction causes the dancer to make a more complicated dance with each subsequent person and it is like a contagious disease that spreads, this dysfunction. As a mother of two boys on the spectrum, I am at a loss how to even begin to teach them how to navigate the screwed up world of dating. It took me decades to figure it out myself. I'm not sure my husband is better equipped to teach him either, given he made some pretty epic mistakes of relationship choices in his life. It is so complicated it makes my head spin. Shouldn't it be so simple as saying: I like you, You like me, Let's boogey? Nope, too many people have too many hangups and agendas out there to keep it simple.



Uprising
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Jan 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,908

16 Apr 2013, 1:10 pm

I was thinking, as a 25 year old malformed manchild who has never had a serious relationship with a female, to finally step into the danger zone of DATING or even slightly think about stepping in, but nah, too lazy, UT99 is too fun to ditch.

Cheers.



MCalavera
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Dec 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,442

16 Apr 2013, 1:11 pm

The saying "Men from Mars, Women from Venus" couldn't be any more true.

Try not to look at women as mere female versions of men. They typically have different brains from males and, therefore, different perspectives and values.

My theory is women generally value emotional bonding more than romantic and/or sexual bond. Whereas for men, it's the other way around.

That is why single women value platonic friendships with single men (and get devastated if a man they view as just a guy friend and whom they themselves rejected ends up ceasing contact with them) and can't understand why single men don't value the same thing as much.



Kinme
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Apr 2012
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,002
Location: Spaghetti

16 Apr 2013, 2:29 pm

I'm not this type of person, and it disgusts me to see when others are fooled by these kind of people, male or female. I hate that people do this kind of crap.



Vectorspace
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Oct 2012
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 903
Location: Germany

16 Apr 2013, 2:40 pm

Kinme wrote:
I'm not this type of person, and it disgusts me to see when others are fooled by these kind of people, male or female. I hate that people do this kind of crap.

I wouldn't call it fooling in all cases.

The explanation that applies to me is that I'm usually rejected by people (socially, not romantically or sexually – I don't even get that far). So when someone is actually friendly to me, I sometimes misunderstand that as flirting.