Joe90 wrote:
Is your partner the Aspie, or you, or both?
When he said about the water affecting the shower, that sounds like something I would ask; totally irrelavent and just trying to turn a perfect plan into a small issue (not that he was trying to do that, but I'm just saying it's what I do).
If you're the Aspie, then wondering why he asked about the shower when it had nothing to do with the plan you both agreed on, isn't anything unusual because anyone would ask what that was to do with anything if there was nobody using the shower at the time and nobody else in the house who may use it.
If he was going to ask about water affecting the shower the other day but forgot, and then the conversation reminded him about it and thought he would ask then, it is still quite natural to ask why he is asking. Not all aspects of social interaction are that concrete, and not everyone can read minds.
I think I have a number of aspie traits, though I'm not diagnosed, and not sure I can be by the DSM-V criteria. My partner has his bizarre moments, but is definitely not aspie.
He often does things like this when we're talking, changing subjects without warning, bringing up something from past talks as if it just happened a few minutes ago, interrupting me (or himself) mid sentence to comment on some passing feature as we're driving somewhere. I think of them as his ADD-like, "Oh look! A squirrel!" moments. I've gotten better at asking him to clarify, or respond with, " Where did
that come from?" and keep my mind from shifting boxcars around the yard trying to figure out the logical connections. (The big break came when I realized that with him, there usually is no logical connection.)
I agree that in situations like this, many people would ask for clarification. My issue is with my own mental process freezing up and having trouble responding when confronted with a gap in logic during conversation.
Naturalplastic, thinking out loud is exactly what he does. It used to annoy me to no end when he did that, because I always thought he was communicating decisions when he was really musing out loud. Once I discovered that his declarative statements were frequently requests for my input on the subject, communication got a lot better.
Foxfield, I'd ask it like your #2. Giving all the relevant info so the other person knows why I'm asking.
And to ZeroNetGain, that would indeed have been a vey literal interpretation! Lol!
03 Jun 2013, 3:49 pm
