Regression...

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Every so often, i will make an outstanding breakthrough and have amazing progress in personal hygene, sleep, socialization, nutrition and obsessive thoughts, and it lasts for a good 6 months before i regress... I have made a regression once again

I (according to professional phycologists) have no signs of depression but im still feeling... Withdrawn...

I dont want to make friends, i havent changed my shirt in 3 months, stopped brushing my teeth entirly, dont eat healthy, and i have been sinking deeper into my special interest. Regression reduces a lot of anxiety and stress for me, but my family members hate it and will nag me and make me feel guilty. I could use some advice

Re. depression: You often start to get better before you actually feel better. If your therapist is seeing that you're reporting fewer symptoms, scoring lower on depression scales, or just seeming more alert and energetic, chances are you are beginning to recover and just need to give it some time.

Many of us have this problem of cyclic burnout--we gather our energy, work hard and surge ahead, become more independent, even do amazing things. But we run out of energy. We can't sustain it forever. And things start to fall in on themselves... we're just plain tired, and we can't keep going at the same speed.

I have this problem. It annoys me. I have shorter cycles--every few days, I manage to get a lot done, only to exhaust myself and be good for nothing the next day. And longer cycles, every few months: If I accomplish a lot, chances are I'm going to crash sooner or later.

It can happen to NTs, too, except that they don't hold on to their skills so precariously, and they have to be really reckless or extremely stressed to reach the edge of what they can do. Autistics... well, we're more vulnerable. We can burn out just from having a few months where we've successfully managed to keep the apartment clean, the bills paid, and contact with a friend or two maintained. NTs think this is easy--fact is, it's not. Well, not for us.

What I'm trying to do is find some kind of middle ground, some level of activity that'll let me accomplish things at a moderate pace, be relatively independent while taking advantage of assistance with the things that take more effort for me than they're worth. There's this stupid idea floating around that I guess I've internalized--that if you have a disability you just have to work harder and it'll all go away and you'll be some kind of supercrip climbing Mount Everest on prosthetics. Or whatever. You know what I mean, right? We're not allowed to be everyday people with weaknesses; we're either tragic or inspiring and there's no middle ground. I want to challenge that in my own life, remind myself that it's okay to have weaknesses, that admitting it doesn't mean that I'm useless, that needing help doesn't make me tragic.

So... I think I know roughly what you're going through, I'm trying to deal with the same crap myself, and I hope things work out for you.

I don't have anything valuable to add, but I wanted to thank you for this post - reading it significantly reduced my compulsion to beat myself up over this. I'm currently in the burnout phase of the cycle you describe, with the usual obsessive what-is-wrong-with-me-why-can't-I-function-why-is-this-happening-again type of thoughts and those extreme levels of exhaustion. Now I just need to find some level of peace with these cycles, because I still seem to cling to the idea that I can get better so that it will never happen again ...

I hear you, Callista. I have these cycles too. I was really social last weekend, and now my studies are going I don't say where. No-one seems to understand this, even my coach (who's trained to work with people on the autism spectrum) was nagging at me yesterday for not getting my work done.

I am, irritatingly, also like this. I am only just seeing how it works. I wish there were some way of knowing ahead of time so I could ease off on the part that kills my ability to work/function later. I am used to just trying to ride it out and do spend a lot of time beating myself up over it. The horrible part is having to come up with a creative idea on a short timeline at work and just not having the skills I need available. Fortunately, it does always get better, but I never know how long it will be.

Ive been like this for my entire life - i'll have a periodof supreme functionality and then i'll
plumb the depths. Im in one of my plumbing phases right now, ive really regresed. I struggle even more bitterly to socialise and my meltodwns are starting to occur in the public domain.

It cana owever be comforting and I would surmise that it may actually be necessary. Odo from DS9 Trek is the perrfect example. As a metamorph/shape shifter he has to consciously maintain his humanoid shape. By the end of the day reverting back into his amorphous gelatinous state is a profound relief. So it is with us. We maintain a nuerotypical shape and by he end of the day/month.week/year/decade we need to revert for a time to recharge. Dont feel guilty.

This topic reminds me of myself.

Earlier this year I went through a period of time where I felt like I could take on anything - I volunteered at a thrift store for the first time, and then quit once I started feeling the need to recharge.

Then my sister and her family came to visit from England. I also went swimming and running as often as I could.

Then I joined the Y and went swimming in the indoor pool nearly every day, and tried some new things such as guided meditation and yoga.

However, I didn't like yoga and my swimming has gradually tapered off, I don't run anymore, and now I've regressed to a functioning level similar to the way I was when I was a child, or worse.

I have trouble cleaning up after myself (my bedroom, particularly my desk, looks like it was struck by a tornado), my personal hygiene and bathroom habits are at an all-time low (when earlier this year I was doing a fairly decent job of keeping myself in line), my sleep cycle is so screwed up that I'm almost completely nocturnal, and I almost never leave the house.

When I do leave the house, I can only be gone for around an hour and a half at most or I will begin to go on autopilot (mentally blocking out all sensory input and basically becoming a zombie).

Meltdowns occur more frequently too - in October, I had a spell of about one to two weeks where I broke down and cried multiple times every single day. I'm starting to feel that way again; so far I have cried once a day for two days in a row.

Not sure what else to add other than it feels like regression is the best way to describe what I'm going through. One thing's for sure, is that I will definitely do more research and talk to my psychiatrist about it the next time I see him, whenever that may be (I see him every three months, and the last time was in October [unfortunately before my big breakdown, so as far as my psych knows nothing's wrong] so... hopefully it will be in January).

I've bolded the parts you need to focus most on. Fix this and everything else will begin to fall into play. You've posted before about digestive issues & IBS symptoms. It's been my experience that eating to resolve digestive issues has greatly reduced/eliminated my mental symptoms. You are what you eat.. eat healthy, be healthy.

Is this loosely rerlated to the gluten casein free diets. Ive heard that autists have permeable blood brain barriers and thus the opioid peptides in these foods can actually latch onto the mu upioid receptors and initiate an endorphin release. Eliminiating threse foods from the diet is supposed to reduce the withdrawal satiation cycle.

Im not sure I agree with this but would say that magnesium threonate can be of immense help as can omega 3'S and avoiding store bought vits and mins which contain non bioavailable phytonutrients. Instead get your nutirtion from fruit and vegatables. Herbs and spices are something glorious too.

Also I dont believe that the op should focus on nutirtion to the exclusion of erverything else. My regression occurred while I was working at Mcd's due to the bullying and isolation I experienced there. Now that ive left it hasnt abated. The Op might also be responding to a life event he hasnt identified yet