How to make my Brother Normal hasn't been outside in years

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redrobin62
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11 Jun 2013, 7:32 pm

<--- Hates fake questions.



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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11 Jun 2013, 8:05 pm

I think the goal of prophylactic antibiotics is to prevent repeated waves of damage to the basal ganglia.



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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11 Jun 2013, 8:12 pm

The OP's brother reminds me of myself at age 17 and 18. At first I took hour long showers with ritualistic soaping and rinsing. Then, perhaps as the stress of doing it just right increased, I would put off taking showers. I would only take showers once every three or four days, sometimes longer, when it became too obvious my hair was greasy. Yes, it was embarrassing. And I could feel the social rejection.



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11 Jun 2013, 10:02 pm

Sometimes hygiene is a luxury.


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12 Jun 2013, 2:51 am

neilson_wheels wrote:
Sure, I understand and appreciate what WP has to offer.
I'm just wondering if the situation being debated is actually real.
A number of members, Including myself, have offered advice and made queries that have received no response.


Maybe the OP is reading and thinking about what has been written? Not everyone jumps in and responds right away.


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Yuugiri
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12 Jun 2013, 3:08 am

Callista wrote:
Reading the OP, I can't find any evidence that this guy is obviously able to provide for himself. If you pay attention to only the facts, you see a rather severe disability. He doesn't leave the house, can't use soap to bathe, is so attached to his bed that he can't have it replaced even though the springs are showing, can become upset just because the style of the TV showing has changed, has worn the same clothes since age 14 and sometimes wears only a blanket, doesn't have conversations except about special interests, doesn't brush his teeth or go to the dentist, and is unable to leave the house for any reason.

A bit late replying to this, but I suppose I was responding based on the OP's emotions about the situation more than anything else. It was a bad assumption to make. I apologize.


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hanyo
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12 Jun 2013, 3:14 am

chris5000 wrote:
maybe you can get a psychiatrist to come to your home and give advice on what to do. it seems to me like he needs professional help


Hopefully if this was done it would be with his knowledge and permission. If someone had a psychiatrist come to my house it would upset me and make me think they were trying to get me committed. At this point in my life if anyone tried to come in here and change me I'd want to tell them to gtfo. When one came to my house as a minor I locked myself in my room and wouldn't come out.



nostromo
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12 Jun 2013, 5:52 am

I don't know the details, but I think it's unfortunate that the parents allowed this to happen, and get to this point.
Just to be clear I have no problem with someone hanging out in their room naked and living on the Internet if thats what they want to do, but a person that age should also be aiming towards some level of independence if possible, and if he is intelligent, as it sounds then that should be eminently possible.

I feel sorry for him, and feel that the culpability lies with the failing of the parents to act in their son's true best interests.
I do not leave my children to do what they want, if I did they would probably choose to not go to school and would eat chocolates and lollies for sustenance. That would not be good for them in the long run either. It sounds like that is similar to what has happened here.



hanyo
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12 Jun 2013, 6:01 am

To be fair to him we don't really know how much he is capable of.

I'm not quite as bad as him but I can relate. I don't work, barely leave the house, and I usually don't get dressed either but I wear pajamas when I'm home.



nostromo
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12 Jun 2013, 6:26 am

hanyo wrote:
To be fair to him we don't really know how much he is capable of.

I'm not quite as bad as him but I can relate. I don't work, barely leave the house, and I usually don't get dressed either but I wear pajamas when I'm home.

Yeah, I mean it doesn't sound like there's anything wrong with the guy. Has Aspergers and so no doubt the outside world causes anxiety and he likes his sameness. Perhaps the not wearing clothes is a sensory issue. Combine those things, and hanging out in your room would be an attractive option. That's fine, but if thats ALL you did then your options become very limited. It's the degree here that's an issue; same as with too much or too little of anything it's not good.
I applaud the brother for giving a sh*t and exploring ways to try and help. As he knows his bother I'm sure he will be able to in some way, he already has some good ideas.
I'd just start little. Maybe get him to go outside in the yard once a day to start with to get him exposure. And have there be something in that process that is of benefit to him to make it worthwhile.
As an example we did that with my son with shopping which caused him anxiety. I'd go to the supermarket and buy one thing and then we'd get the hell out of there. Then eventually we could go for 5 minutes, and kept increasing it slowly (and got things he liked in the shopping). Now we can do a whole shop and he's chilled out the whole time



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12 Jun 2013, 7:12 am

It'd be nice if being intelligent was sufficient aptitude to be independent.

Not really seeing it work out that way for many of us.



zer0netgain
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12 Jun 2013, 7:34 am

chris5000 wrote:
maybe you can get a psychiatrist to come to your home and give advice on what to do. it seems to me like he needs professional help


+1

He needs help.

The lack of interest in personal hygiene would make him unbearable to be around by itself.

Even if he doesn't like going outside, he should discipline himself to do it for X hours every week...just to expand his range of ability. The more you cater to his preferences, the more he will be stuck in them and unable to grow as a person.

Small steps eventually lead to miles of progress.



Max000
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12 Jun 2013, 7:43 am

neilson_wheels wrote:
Popsicle wrote:
Has the OP given an update lately?


His profile shows he was on the site yesterday but no additional posts have been made.
I have doubts as to the integrity of the OP personally.


I can think of three possible explanations.

1. He got enough advice here, and has decided what he needs to do about the situation.

2. He didn't like the advice offered and decided to stop reading the thread.

3. He is busy. He had enough time to log in and check the forum, but hasn't had time to post back.

I don't know if the post is real or not, but his story seems believable to me. He did initially follow up several times, with quite a bit of details. Some people are just drive-by posters. They treat the forum like a chat room. Then they don't come back for a while, if ever.



neilson_wheels
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12 Jun 2013, 1:49 pm

Nice to see others here are more philosophical than myself.
Sorry, just developed a bee in my brain about trolling.