Ignorant Family Members

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I have a huge problem. No, more like a gigantic, over the top problem. My relatives are coming this week, and honestly, I'm not fond of them that much. Especially my aunt. When my parents told them that I have Asperger's, she didn't believe them. Instead, she accused me of being spoiled. How ignorant and mean is that? Just because she grew up in a large family with tons of siblings doesn't give her the right to be mean and ignorant like that. I'm just so mad, and I wish that every NT (neurotypical) would get over themselves and reach out to Aspies and Austistics. Can somebody help me? I have no idea what to do at this point. All I can feel right now is pain in my heart and soul.

Some people do not understand just like we have difficulty understanding them. I do not think you should handle the situation head on because it may make you more frustrated. I think someone may need to tell her (not you) that's it is unacceptable to bring up. If she does, excuse yourself somehow. I do not know what can be accomplished with talking with someone like that when it is a silly observation she has that defies reason.

Well at least u have. Ur close family. I live with my mom to whom I'm co dependent. I have no job and friends. And because neither she nor my two siblings understand me we just don't get along. Asking as become a habit out of need but to them I'm just. A good for nothing bum who left Uni two years ago and is till sitting on the couch sponging off everyone else's earnings.


It really Is sad and I have some many creative ideas just no money and no way to make money because I can't hold down a job.!

I was trying to say her aunt had difficulty understanding her much like Aspies have difficulty understanding the intent of others. My opinion is that whatever she says is not likely going to change her aunt's mind - call me jaded. I knew many people just like her and it takes time - sometimes it's never, but the aunt may tire of complaining about it and keep her thoughts to her self.

When I was younger and less jaded, I would have said to hit this head on, but now I see the relatively minor success one would have with people like her aunt.

It sounds like the OP's aunt didn't say those things to her--she said them to her parents. She also said it when the idea of the OP's diagnosis was new to her, before she had time to consider it. It may be that the aunt has had time to research AS, or at least to think about whether or not it makes sense. Seeing the OP in her usual surroundings during the family visit, struggling with the things she struggles with, might make the diagnosis seem more obviously correct.

At any rate, she'll still be the OP's aunt whether she ever accepts the diagnosis or not. Cutting a relative completely out of your life shouldn't be the result of one alleged statement made without any further attempts at understanding; it will make family holidays awkward for the rest of your life, if nothing else.

I have no family on the face of the planet with whom I can share my diagnosis, but I do have a few friends. Just a few days ago I disclosed it to which he said, “Hmm, that’s interesting.” I’ve heard that before. It’s as though the hearer doesn’t know what to say, like telling someone you have cancer, etc. I followed up our talk with an e-mail and a number of attachments explaining what it is, how it affects me, and what friends and family can do to help and relate to one with Asperger’s. I’ve not heard back, though he did say he would look over the info. I’m sure he will since he’s an avid reader and curious about everything.

So, educating your family about it may be the best thing. If they can’t accept it, then it’s their loss. If they’re truly concerned about you, they’ll try to understand.