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1000Knives
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30 Jun 2013, 11:05 pm

I don't have Facebook, so no.

I did "google stalk" and googled some people I knew.



UnseenSkye
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30 Jun 2013, 11:16 pm

I do not use Facebook specifically because it is primarily a sandbox for the egocentric AND because it is prime "stomping grounds" for Stalkers, Predators and people you generally do not want to know who you are, what you're doing and where you are at any moment in time. Thus, I am in TOTAL agreement with the Librarian: stalking a person in a virtual sense does not greatly differ from stalking them in a REAL WORLD, tangible sense.

STALKING PEOPLE IS REALLY A LOUSY THING TO DO. IT'S HAPPENED TO ME. AND I'VE LOOKED TO SEE WHAT'S GOING ON WITH PEOPLE -- ALTHOUGH NOT IN FACEBOOK.

Listen. I've been hurt by people and people have hurt me. There are people I've had misunderstandings with and devastating things have happened in their lives and I've wanted to contact them and do what I can to help -- IF there is anything I can do to help. But to stalk these people would be unthinkable. It is bad enough that we had a misunderstanding, that our friendship fell apart and they experienced something I know to be almost unbearably tragic. I would not use the knowledge of someone else's tragedy to exploit them, to reinsert myself into their lives when they are vulnerable. This is one of the ugly aspects of Facebook: people treat it like a scrapbook, recording every birth, injury, illness and death. When this information is made public, for every friend who might make contact, there are predatory freaks lurking about as well.

There are people I've lost touch with and I'd really love to speak with them again. When I find a way to contact them, I don't damn well hover them and I either find the courage to email them or write to them or find a telephone number to call. If they do not wish to speak with me, they let me know. If they're happy to hear from me, they let me know. There are people I never told about having Asperger's and I REGRET not giving some of these people a chance. To all of you who didn't understand, to whom I seemed angry or unappreciative: I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I loved you then. I love you now.

BUT, BACK TO THE STALKER PROBLEM.

In my life, there has been one "man". He has been after me for decades. When I hadn't heard from him in more than ten years, I assumed that he had stopped his obsession, had found someone he could truly love and had figured out that I did not want him in my life as a lover or a life partner. I was WRONG. Every place I ever lived, he'd traveled there in search of me. He'd probably sat in a car parked outside of my workplace on more than one occasion, waiting for me to leave. What probably saved me was the fact that I kept unpredictable hours -- usually working quite late. When I think of how many times I was the last person out of the building, locking the building and catching the last train back to the city, with no one else around --- these suddenly become very frightening memories. I never carried a weapon back then. Now I never leave home without one.

Most people will never know what it is like to understand that there is someone in the world so crazy that only when they are dead will you ever be certain you are safely free of them. And it isn't as though they are people who realize they made mistakes and regret having made those mistakes with all their heart. This isn't a person who sincerely seeks to apologize and do something good that might help to make up for some of their past foolishness. This isn't a person who, when hearing of your misfortune, wants to work with you to ease your burden.

The stalker I have dealt with a devious, psychotic, violent, disgusting, delusional, lying, treacherous, potentially murderous creature. He turns from a meek looking little man to a screaming, sweating, horrifying maniac. If you've ever seen the movie: "One Hour Photo" and watched the transformation in Robin Williams' character Sy from the meek, lonely man to the Terrifying God (or Devil) of Retribution. The difference is the character "Sy" was acting through some sense of conscience or self-righteousness. The guy I'm referring to makes no sense at all. He just wants me -- regardless of my feelings. He's like something almost invisible. He has disobeyed every No Contact order. There is a No Harassment order in place that applies to ME wherever I am. It isn't attached to a location. He has beaten me black and blue and I promise you, swear to you, I did nothing to provoke him other than turning on a computer.

He attacked me without warning. He did not want me to use the internet. Crazy enough, yes? So I didn't get on the internet...I just turned on my laptop and this maniac jumped me. I've had him arrested and jailed and his brother bailed him out. The police have the evidence of the damage he did to me and to his own apartment. After all of this, he continued attempting to contact me. I got rid of my cell phone, disappeared into a place I thought he'd never think to look for me and have not once used my true name. How would you feel if you had an unusual first name that you could not use because it one insane creep would hunt you down? He threatened to murder me the next time he saw me. I fully believe that he will attempt to carry through on this threat. I am armed and fully intend to destroy his ability to murder anyone. It is not necessary to kill a person in order to do this.

It is not funny to stalk another person. I've just told you ALMOST how bad it can get. It is not a compliment to the person. It is not something any sane person would take as a joke. And it is possible to TRACE your activities through your ISP. Obsession when it is directed at art or work or invention or problem solving is often the path to greatness. It is an evil thing to do to another person. You've heard about people getting mutilated and murdered. The Librarian is trying to warn you: there is sometimes a fine line between Reality and Virtual Reality.



Wandering_Stranger
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01 Jul 2013, 5:33 am

A friend once posted a picture on Facebook and wrote "and for all you stalkers out there, this is where I work". I was the only one who replied. :oops: I should add that I wasn't stalking him and had good reason to go past where he worked.

I have gone through peoples profiles on forums - some people post threads and will then post follow-up threads. Having not seen the previous thread, I will then go through the persons profile to find it.

Whilst I've had issues with other people IRL, I've never been stalked by them.



MoonCanvas
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01 Jul 2013, 6:15 am

UnseenSkye wrote:
I do not use Facebook specifically because it is primarily a sandbox for the egocentric AND because it is prime "stomping grounds" for Stalkers, Predators and people you generally do not want to know who you are, what you're doing and where you are at any moment in time. Thus, I am in TOTAL agreement with the Librarian: stalking a person in a virtual sense does not greatly differ from stalking them in a REAL WORLD, tangible sense.

STALKING PEOPLE IS REALLY A LOUSY THING TO DO. IT'S HAPPENED TO ME. AND I'VE LOOKED TO SEE WHAT'S GOING ON WITH PEOPLE -- ALTHOUGH NOT IN FACEBOOK.

Listen. I've been hurt by people and people have hurt me. There are people I've had misunderstandings with and devastating things have happened in their lives and I've wanted to contact them and do what I can to help -- IF there is anything I can do to help. But to stalk these people would be unthinkable. It is bad enough that we had a misunderstanding, that our friendship fell apart and they experienced something I know to be almost unbearably tragic. I would not use the knowledge of someone else's tragedy to exploit them, to reinsert myself into their lives when they are vulnerable. This is one of the ugly aspects of Facebook: people treat it like a scrapbook, recording every birth, injury, illness and death. When this information is made public, for every friend who might make contact, there are predatory freaks lurking about as well.

There are people I've lost touch with and I'd really love to speak with them again. When I find a way to contact them, I don't damn well hover them and I either find the courage to email them or write to them or find a telephone number to call. If they do not wish to speak with me, they let me know. If they're happy to hear from me, they let me know. There are people I never told about having Asperger's and I REGRET not giving some of these people a chance. To all of you who didn't understand, to whom I seemed angry or unappreciative: I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I loved you then. I love you now.

BUT, BACK TO THE STALKER PROBLEM.

In my life, there has been one "man". He has been after me for decades. When I hadn't heard from him in more than ten years, I assumed that he had stopped his obsession, had found someone he could truly love and had figured out that I did not want him in my life as a lover or a life partner. I was WRONG. Every place I ever lived, he'd traveled there in search of me. He'd probably sat in a car parked outside of my workplace on more than one occasion, waiting for me to leave. What probably saved me was the fact that I kept unpredictable hours -- usually working quite late. When I think of how many times I was the last person out of the building, locking the building and catching the last train back to the city, with no one else around --- these suddenly become very frightening memories. I never carried a weapon back then. Now I never leave home without one.

Most people will never know what it is like to understand that there is someone in the world so crazy that only when they are dead will you ever be certain you are safely free of them. And it isn't as though they are people who realize they made mistakes and regret having made those mistakes with all their heart. This isn't a person who sincerely seeks to apologize and do something good that might help to make up for some of their past foolishness. This isn't a person who, when hearing of your misfortune, wants to work with you to ease your burden.

The stalker I have dealt with a devious, psychotic, violent, disgusting, delusional, lying, treacherous, potentially murderous creature. He turns from a meek looking little man to a screaming, sweating, horrifying maniac. If you've ever seen the movie: "One Hour Photo" and watched the transformation in Robin Williams' character Sy from the meek, lonely man to the Terrifying God (or Devil) of Retribution. The difference is the character "Sy" was acting through some sense of conscience or self-righteousness. The guy I'm referring to makes no sense at all. He just wants me -- regardless of my feelings. He's like something almost invisible. He has disobeyed every No Contact order. There is a No Harassment order in place that applies to ME wherever I am. It isn't attached to a location. He has beaten me black and blue and I promise you, swear to you, I did nothing to provoke him other than turning on a computer.

He attacked me without warning. He did not want me to use the internet. Crazy enough, yes? So I didn't get on the internet...I just turned on my laptop and this maniac jumped me. I've had him arrested and jailed and his brother bailed him out. The police have the evidence of the damage he did to me and to his own apartment. After all of this, he continued attempting to contact me. I got rid of my cell phone, disappeared into a place I thought he'd never think to look for me and have not once used my true name. How would you feel if you had an unusual first name that you could not use because it one insane creep would hunt you down? He threatened to murder me the next time he saw me. I fully believe that he will attempt to carry through on this threat. I am armed and fully intend to destroy his ability to murder anyone. It is not necessary to kill a person in order to do this.

It is not funny to stalk another person. I've just told you ALMOST how bad it can get. It is not a compliment to the person. It is not something any sane person would take as a joke. And it is possible to TRACE your activities through your ISP. Obsession when it is directed at art or work or invention or problem solving is often the path to greatness. It is an evil thing to do to another person. You've heard about people getting mutilated and murdered. The Librarian is trying to warn you: there is sometimes a fine line between Reality and Virtual Reality.

I think you need to find a boyfriend(I don't mean me) who can protect you, you shouldn't be living a alone with worries of a killer lurking about. That way if you get attacked again your boyfriend will **** him up. In fact that's kinda the way our species has evolved.



Mindsigh
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01 Jul 2013, 8:31 am

I have tried to peel back they layers of mystery surrounding someone I wanted to know better but was too shy to talk to. :oops: Do you ever wonder if anybody does it to you?


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StayFrosty
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04 Aug 2019, 8:25 pm

If you are going to stalk someone on FB, don't like any of their posts. Just saying.



StayFrosty
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04 Aug 2019, 8:26 pm

Is it wrong to look people on Facebook to see what they are up to?



lostonearth35
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04 Aug 2019, 8:31 pm

I don't stalk people on FB. If anything, I try to avoid them as much as possible. And I don't stalk anyone else, for that matter.

I can't even begin to understand why anyone would be so obsessed with a human, of all things, that they'd stalk them. Most humans are not even worthy of being stalked, because all they do is bring pain to the world, and each other.



League_Girl
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05 Aug 2019, 1:40 am

It's normal to "stalk" peoples Facebook pages.

Why make it all public if you don't want the whole world seeing it and if you add anyone to your friends, you are inviting them to view your whole entire page so they can see what you have been up to in life.

To answer StayFrosty's question, no it is not wrong because anything you put online is public.


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Joe90
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05 Aug 2019, 4:41 am

League_Girl wrote:
It's normal to "stalk" peoples Facebook pages.

Why make it all public if you don't want the whole world seeing it and if you add anyone to your friends, you are inviting them to view your whole entire page so they can see what you have been up to in life.

To answer StayFrosty's question, no it is not wrong because anything you put online is public.


I don't think the public can see what you put if you activate your privacy settings to "friends only".


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League_Girl
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05 Aug 2019, 11:06 am

Joe90 wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
It's normal to "stalk" peoples Facebook pages.

Why make it all public if you don't want the whole world seeing it and if you add anyone to your friends, you are inviting them to view your whole entire page so they can see what you have been up to in life.

To answer StayFrosty's question, no it is not wrong because anything you put online is public.


I don't think the public can see what you put if you activate your privacy settings to "friends only".



Some make their whole FB page public though and I believe the OP was asking if it is still okay to stalk their page assuming they are on their friends.


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livingwithautism
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05 Aug 2019, 10:08 pm

No. I don't use facebook.



la_fenkis
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06 Aug 2019, 12:23 am

I get the feeling that various people in this thread are using the word "stalk" to refer to different concepts.

Stalking is the repeated or unwanted surveillance or monitoring of a person. Taken in the broadest possible sense one could contrive friendship to be a form of stalking, unless one doesn't ever check in on their friends to see how they're doing. Good parenting involves stalking one's kids in numerous ways, which the involved children may even consider unwanted. On the other hand there's malevolent stalking which amounts to a harmful invasion of a person's life.

It is possible to refer to many things as monitoring. I think the more crucial aspect is whether it is doing harm, which is impossible to assess solely from a term so broad in scope and usage as "Facebook stalking." I've seen people throw around the term pretty casually, including in this thread.



DemophobicKlingon
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06 Aug 2019, 5:51 am

When I first joined Facebook, I was addicted but then the human element ruined for me. Yeah, I get that's the point of FB in the first place but meh... I value my privacy/space and people constantly wanting to chat is a turnoff for me, especially if I just want to check my feed. I haven't logged in for three years. People sometimes ask me why I never go on or say things like "I'm still waiting for you to accept my friend request." but quite frankly my life is better without facebook. With my info still up there and people in my life posting pictures, people can still know about my life.

There is one guy who kept on bringing up personal information about my life based on what he saw on my Facebook. I get it isn't rocket science to do that in this day and age but the fact that I don't know him that well and he was starting conversations about where I live, the people in my life, etc. is kind of jeepers creeper where did you get those peepers to me.

On forums and things, when people have caught my attention, I've been guilty of stalking their posts though so maybe I have doublestandards. When I was a facebook nut, I would pay a lot of attention to what certain people did but I wouldn't pester them about it.


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Joe90
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06 Aug 2019, 7:11 am

StayFrosty wrote:
Is it wrong to look people on Facebook to see what they are up to?


No it's not wrong, but this thread makes it feel like it is.


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TheOther
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06 Aug 2019, 7:22 am

I quit all social media and it was one of the best things I ever did.

Someday I might return, but only for event invitations and messages. I find posting and reading posts to be toxic for me.