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Thelogic
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03 Jul 2013, 9:38 pm

Hey,
I have an issue and was wondering if any of you have the same thing...

When I talk to people I sometimes am overly honest and speak my mind even if sometimes it would be better to not say anything.

For instance if someone asks if they look nice but they look horrible I will tell them or if they annoy me I will tell them.
The thing is I'm not a nasty person I just can't help it, I don't even realise I'm saying it until it's too late...

Is this related to aspergers or adhd in anyway?
and do you have the same problem?



auntblabby
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03 Jul 2013, 9:40 pm

I've long been told I talk too much. :duh: :oops: so I've learned this little rhyming ditty by heart-

"it is better to keep silent and as a fool be thought- than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt."



redrobin62
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03 Jul 2013, 9:45 pm

It's definitely related to Asperger's because verbal and non-verbal social deficits are our stock in trade. It's cost me friendships in the past and it's also the reason a lot of us are poor at small talk. To wit:

A. Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across contexts, not accounted for by general developmental delays, and manifest by all 3 of the following:

1. Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity; ranging from abnormal social approach and failure of normal back and forth conversation through reduced sharing of interests, emotions, and affect and response to total lack of initiation of social interaction.

2. Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction; ranging from poorly integrated- verbal and nonverbal communication, through abnormalities in eye contact and body-language, or deficits in understanding and use of nonverbal communication, to total lack of facial expression or gestures.

3. Deficits in developing and maintaining relationships, appropriate to developmental level (beyond those with caregivers); ranging from difficulties adjusting behavior to suit different social contexts through difficulties in sharing imaginative play and in making friends to an apparent absence of interest in people.



Thelogic
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03 Jul 2013, 9:54 pm

My first year at college I went and sat by myself in lesson and at lunch...
For some reason my classmates spoke to me and ended up befriending me.
I made three good friends from that class, one of which has adhd like me.

Second year in college but at a different college, I made a lot of friends but no close ones.
But still... They befriended me.

For some reason they liked the fact I spoke my mind sometimes.

I've lost a few "friends" but they weren't real friends anyway.
They stabbed me in my back and spread rumours about me and pretty much got me exiled from the social group.

Some days I just sit in my room at my computer and just think about why I never go out etc... and why no one ever invites me out.
But I have one friend who always says I can go to his house anytime... but I put off going for some reason because I feel like an outcast in the group.

I used to go thai boxing but after about 2 years of going I started to get anxious about going again... I was anxious at first but then it stopped but then it started again after 2 years... I just couldn't drag myself out the house...

School, I got bullied and couldn't drag myself out of bed for most of that...

The one time I actually went out with my family and enjoyed myself (my 18th birthday). My house got broken into and robbed... They stole my ps3 which was pretty much my release.

I'm mumbling a bit now... sorry...



Thelogic
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03 Jul 2013, 9:55 pm

Oh... People always say I never smile.
I just sit with one look on my face apparently like I'm "about to kill myself"



auntblabby
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03 Jul 2013, 10:23 pm

I found out about the importance of smiling, but too late in life. smiling even makes one's self feel better. so my advice is to make one's self smile as often as possible. Image



Thelogic
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03 Jul 2013, 10:24 pm

My mom tries to force me to smile lol
I just cant do it...
I have an inability to... Unless I'm laughing.



auntblabby
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03 Jul 2013, 10:26 pm

then find something to laugh about. the story of norman cousins is illuminating in this respect. he healed himself from disease, merely by laughing.



Thelogic
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03 Jul 2013, 10:30 pm

It feels unnatural lol



auntblabby
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03 Jul 2013, 10:34 pm

practice makes perfect, or better in any case. practice it even when you don't feel like it, and pretty soon it will be as natural as falling off a log.



Thelogic
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03 Jul 2013, 10:34 pm

Will certainly try and practice lol



auntblabby
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03 Jul 2013, 10:36 pm

see, you're already doing it! Image



Thelogic
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03 Jul 2013, 10:37 pm

lol I say lol when I'm nervous lol ...



auntblabby
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03 Jul 2013, 10:38 pm

well, a nervous smile is still a smile.



Thelogic
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03 Jul 2013, 10:40 pm

True say!



Marybird
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03 Jul 2013, 10:48 pm

Exercising your smile muscles can sometimes cure depression.