Keep ''hearing'' people laughing at me, is it in my head?



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Joe90
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Mon Jul 22, 2013 12:31 pm

When I'm walking along and I'm passing people, sometimes I hear them laughing as they go by. I have to keep taking notice of my rational thoughts, which are saying ''they are laughing amongst themselves, not at you'', and, ''the majority of adults would not laugh out loud at you within 2 seconds of passing you even if you did have a minor difference about you, your differences are too minor to cause someone to laugh each time they pass you, but you don't have any strange habits about you when walking along anyway so there's nothing to worry about.''

I think I've become so self-conscious that I focus too much on my presentation when passing people, that I interpret all kinds of noises as a laugh aimed at me. Like today a middle-aged man passed me and my friend, and I heard him make a noise and I immediately interpreted it as a laugh like he was laughing at me. But surely I'm not so funny that I cause people to laugh at me even when they're on their own. So I analyzed the noise he made again in my head and began to be pretty sure that it was just a cough or clearing his throat. Then I felt better.

Is there any way I can stop focusing on this too much? I know I am hypersensitive to these things so I think I hear things like people laughing or see things like people staring when they are probably not. It's like when you have just watched a horror movie late at night and you're at home on your own, and once you have the creeps then you think every click and bang you hear is something from the horror movie in your house, or objects even turn into weird faces, etc. But you don't see these things when you haven't got the creeps. So I was wondering if my mind plays tricks on me when feeling self-conscious, the same as it does to people when they have the creeps of ghosts?


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monsterland
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Mon Jul 22, 2013 12:37 pm

I had the same exact phenomena. It was caused by being bullied continuously through school years. It is PTSD, and I healed it through practice of Aikido, which helped me find a natural way of movement/posture and is also a powerful psychological healing tool.



Uprising
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Mon Jul 22, 2013 12:59 pm

They probably WERE laughing at you lol, I can easily spot when people make fun of me or look weirdly at me and it always turns out to be those sort of people who are known for being asses to literally everyone but theirselves and their friends.

"Wherever there is smoke, there is fire."

Instead of worrying whether someone laughs at you, it's better to learn to deal with people who are actually laughing at you for that horrible reason you currently have in mind, because you know you'll bump into them one day in your life and people are people, they can bring out the worst emotions in you, they're naturals in that and they get off on it.

Also, like someone else mentioned here => BAD POSTURE => the number one personal reputation killer known to mankind, but easily fixable in most cases.



thunderstorms
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Mon Jul 22, 2013 1:08 pm

I get paranoid that my housemates are talking about me or laughing at me downstairs. It gets so intense on occasion (in my head) that I put earplugs in to avoid thinking about it. It makes me avoid going down the stairs and passing them. It is tied in with the fact that I don't leave the house very often lately and don't do my job (which has a flexible schedule) as much as I should. I am afraid they are judging me for that and other things. ANYWAY, the truth is that they are friends of mine. When I think about it rationally I really doubt they often discuss me behind my back in a malicious way or spend significant time laughing out loud about me when I am not around.

Walking down the street, I feel somewhat awkward about the way I look but at the same time I don't care too much what strangers think of me. I rarely think people on the street are laughing at me. I don't know what you can do about this. Just keep being rational about it I guess (I mean, as you are being).



stellaaaaaa
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Mon Jul 22, 2013 1:36 pm

sad to say i recently had to leave another internet forum because i had obsessive feelings that people i was friends with were making fun of me behind my back. so don't let this take over your life people. also when men would whistle, holler or flirt with me on the street i had these feelings for years. it's low self esteem. now of course i tell them to f**k off 8)



Ann2011
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Mon Jul 22, 2013 2:27 pm

I get this. I also hear my name being called, but no one is there. I think it's my brain misinterpreting sounds. Just try to ignore it; as if it were background noise. You're letting your fears get the better of you.



neilson_wheels
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Mon Jul 22, 2013 3:12 pm

I think these things are a vicious circle, the more you think it's happening the more you believe it's true.

Do you have a phone or personal stereo that you can load up with audio books?

A story in your ears requires you to concentrate where as music is just a distraction.



Caz72
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Mon Jul 22, 2013 3:37 pm

Uprising wrote:
They probably WERE laughing at you lol, I can easily spot when people make fun of me or look weirdly at me and it always turns out to be those sort of people who are known for being asses to literally everyone but theirselves and their friends.

"Wherever there is smoke, there is fire."

Instead of worrying whether someone laughs at you, it's better to learn to deal with people who are actually laughing at you for that horrible reason you currently have in mind, because you know you'll bump into them one day in your life and people are people, they can bring out the worst emotions in you, they're naturals in that and they get off on it.

Also, like someone else mentioned here => BAD POSTURE => the number one personal reputation killer known to mankind, but easily fixable in most cases.


she didnt say anything about bad posture, you have to learn that just because one have asd doesnt mean they hold themself weird, i saw in another thread that she walk up straight and everything and anyway i see people walking funny with odd posture and nobody laugh at them.

to op, rational vs irrational thoughts takes a while to compare, mostly people dont all laugh at you its just your paranoa telling you and your imagination, like you said your mind plays tricks on you. just keep listening to your rational thoughts an d after a while you might begin to believe in yourself, i know its hard.



Toy_Soldier
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Mon Jul 22, 2013 6:12 pm

There well may be a technical term for it, for it sounds like something others experience, and I have felt it myself to a lesser degree. But I am not familiar with it. The analogy with getting the creeps is good, for it is also when your overactive mind seems to be wrestling with your logical side.

But just in a general sense it sounds like you are in a very self concious state. There's alot of things that will push you in that direction, and its maybe easier just to call it a lack of confidence. One thing to think about is that you are certainly a lot more concious of yourself then others, particulary strangers. Something I do to avoid over-reacting is to ignor any interaction I am not sure about. If I am not sure someone said something pointed at me, I assume it wasn't. I figure if it is important they will get your attention and repeat it. Perhaps someone has said something and gotten away with it, but thats better then leaning the other way. Ignorring ignorant comments, etc, isn't a bad response anyway.

As far as gaining confidence, I don't know of any process or formula. But I would say you are probably a lot better a person then you think you are. Think of your personna as a body with muscles. Some are naturally weak and some are ok. Think about and exercise your strongpoints and they will in time carry the weak points along and even strengthen them a bit. Its like getting a body healthy again.

I don't so well with strangers and especially crowds either. Some times, if it gets in my mind, I get germ-phobic and exhale everytime I have to pass close by people. :oops: :lol:


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stellaaaaaa
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Mon Jul 22, 2013 6:49 pm

attitude goes a looong way. it is 90% of the battle. act like you're in a movie, as they said in 'spring breakers' 8)



Dantac
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Mon Jul 22, 2013 11:15 pm

This is very common for those with social anxiety. Basically any time you hear or see anyone laugh you become instantly super-aware of yourself as if trying to figure out IF they're laughing at you.

Try facing the source of the laughing sound and just smile back. Its therapeutic.



neilson_wheels
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Tue Jul 23, 2013 2:45 am

From Joe90's posts it seems a lot of her bad experiences are with teenage girls who are best ignored if they behave this way.

Joe these guys opinions really don't matter to you, they are not mature enough yet. Please find some stronger mental armour, be proud of yourself, walk tall.



Uprising
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Tue Jul 23, 2013 3:21 am

Caz72 wrote:
Uprising wrote:
They probably WERE laughing at you lol, I can easily spot when people make fun of me or look weirdly at me and it always turns out to be those sort of people who are known for being asses to literally everyone but theirselves and their friends.

"Wherever there is smoke, there is fire."

Instead of worrying whether someone laughs at you, it's better to learn to deal with people who are actually laughing at you for that horrible reason you currently have in mind, because you know you'll bump into them one day in your life and people are people, they can bring out the worst emotions in you, they're naturals in that and they get off on it.

Also, like someone else mentioned here => BAD POSTURE => the number one personal reputation killer known to mankind, but easily fixable in most cases.


she didnt say anything about bad posture, you have to learn that just because one have asd doesnt mean they hold themself weird, i saw in another thread that she walk up straight and everything and anyway i see people walking funny with odd posture and nobody laugh at them.

to op, rational vs irrational thoughts takes a while to compare, mostly people dont all laugh at you its just your paranoa telling you and your imagination, like you said your mind plays tricks on you. just keep listening to your rational thoughts an d after a while you might begin to believe in yourself, i know its hard.

Bad posture causes bad reactions in anyone, no matter how gorgeous you look, no matter what gender you are and if you combine them with the feeling of ultimate anxiety and insecurity in yourself, you will become extremely noticable and revolting to all people around you, instinctively.

I didn't say she had it btw, but if she did, she would know it, from other people.



Joe90
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Tue Jul 23, 2013 12:33 pm

Some posts are helpful, others are a little off-putting.

The thought of being laughed at by strangers really panics me. It just makes me feel dehumanized. It also makes me feel like I should go out one day doing something that is really funny, like manically dancing about in one spot with my knickers round my ankles and a lampshade over my head. Then people will have something to laugh at, and I can then stop and say, ''well, you laugh at me when I'm being normal so now I'm giving you all something you can laugh at!''

If people find me that funny (which I don't know how, why don't they just laugh at a bird flying in the sky?!), then why don't they wait until they have passed me then whisper to their little friend, ''you know that stupid girl that has just passed us....?'' I thought that was one of the social rules. Whenever I'm with any NT (and this has happened SO MANY times with so many different NTs) and we see someone a bit funny, they always whisper about them to me where it's not within the person's earshot. So why don't people do it to me? That way I won't worry about it because I will be none the wiser.

Just now my mum and her sister were laughing at something on the telly. I asked what they were laughing at, and they say it was a man running with his arms waving around and his head bobbing. It was noticeably funny to them. I walk nothing like that, and nothing to laugh about. I would send a picture of myself and you will all be surprised, but the thought of people examining a picture of me makes me feel uncomfortable because someone probably will point out something even if it isn't unusual in the NT world. Like I said, by gazing at a picture of an Aspie your mind will start playing tricks on you and you probably will begin to see all kinds of stupid things about me what aren't there or noticeable to a stranger walking by.


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James_At_48_Plus
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Wed Jul 31, 2013 11:53 am

I do catch people overtly laughing at me.

And mind you, I am considered "high functioning."

This just goes to show that there is a real world "my cues versus your cues" situation between us and NTs (as well as some non ASDers who have various non ASD related deficits - NPD, OC(P)D, etc come to mind).

We of ASD world give off certain cues that are unique to us. And the bullies have radar for them. It's just like the way many gays have "gaydar" (a positive thing in their case). In this case the radar is an evil type.



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