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League_Girl
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24 Jul 2013, 2:19 am

Yes. I called someone too much and then I was informed they didn't want me calling the anymore. I took it as for the rest of a day and then call again the next day or later that week. I didn't know they meant forever until I called them again after we moved and I hadn't even called them in to days when my dad informed me the dad called and said they don't want me calling them anymore and I was like 'I never called them, that was two days ago."

It's better to ask how often do they want you to do it and how much is too much so you know where to draw the line.

Now I want nothing to do with a person if I find myself getting too obsessed. It's all or nothing so I don't have this issue anymore.


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namaste
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24 Jul 2013, 5:41 am

my issue was with a psychiatrist and he only asked me to call up and giving me the personal IDs, numbers etc.
when i started calling up he knew too well about my anxiety, bipolar and asperger i told
stil the medicine of doctor couldnt handle me
so forget about any other person handling me
:cry:


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Caseyfritz
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24 Jul 2013, 10:31 pm

I had a similar issue when I was 16 and called this girl at my school every day then one day I go to school and all her friends are saying I'm a stalker and then she made up all this stuff about me following her home and peering through her window... I guess to make it seem worse.



skibum
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25 Jul 2013, 7:42 am

Caseyfritz, are you romantically or sexually attracted to her or are you obsessed in a non sexual way? I think that really courting and romancing your wife again as if you were dating her would be a good idea, That will help rekindle your love and attraction to her and help you remember the feelings of why you fell in love with her and that could really help. And it would be loads of fun and she would love it. It would be really nice if you could have the obsession for your wife and fall in love with her all over again. I think that would be very helpful.



Bubbles137
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25 Jul 2013, 12:00 pm

BelleAmi wrote:

They do fade, although it seems impossible at the time that they ever will - I used to get very obsessive when I was younger, but I think being aware of your own intensity helps to defeat the urge.


Can definitely relate to this. I've had obsessions with people since I was about 13, and one in particular was very strong and I think it was made worse by me being a teenager, not knowing what it was and thinking I was really weird or stalkerish. Once I found out about AS and obsessions, and was a lot more aware of it, it began to fade as I kind of accepted it and I even wrote my MA thesis about it which helped to get rid of it completely! I still get them now, but nowhere near as intense and I don't think there's anything wrong with it (even though it can be annoying and can make me feel horrible when that person ignores me) as long as I don't let it take over. I've been open about it with a couple of people (I would never have done this before) which has really helped to be aware of it and accept it, which really does help. I know how hard it is at the time though, and ten years ago I would never have believed it would fade.



MjrMajorMajor
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25 Jul 2013, 1:35 pm

Bubbles137 wrote:
I don't think there's anything wrong with it (even though it can be annoying and can make me feel horrible when that person ignores me) as long as I don't let it take over. I've been open about it with a couple of people (I would never have done this before) which has really helped to be aware of it and accept it, which really does help. I know how hard it is at the time though, and ten years ago I would never have believed it would fade.


Thanks for this. Sometimes I feel like a horrible person when I do have issues, and this helps me reframe it a little. :)



BeggingTurtle
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25 Jul 2013, 2:01 pm

I broke up with my girlfriend a few months ago and we had a similar experience as you had the next few weeks. I know how you feel and I think it's just a normal thing after breakups. What you're experiencing is definitely not good. You should just text her when you want to tell her something cool, but only if you think she'll like it, but not so much that you aren't friends anymore.


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Caseyfritz
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26 Jul 2013, 12:22 am

Skibum, this is what I find hard to answer. Every other time I have ever had a crush, I have always acted stalkerish and creepy because I don't know how to function correctly and talk to women normally. Well, not all, but some. But this girl...She isn't all that attractive to me, and yet I feel a strong feeling about her, like I need her approval, like it lightens my day when she speaks to me or gives me any attention. When I am around her my day goes great if she shows me a lot of attention, and bad if she doesn't. What is that s**t? I can't stand it. I'm married for christ sake. I don't need that s**t.



skibum
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26 Jul 2013, 1:34 am

Caseyfritz wrote:
Skibum, this is what I find hard to answer. Every other time I have ever had a crush, I have always acted stalkerish and creepy because I don't know how to function correctly and talk to women normally. Well, not all, but some. But this girl...She isn't all that attractive to me, and yet I feel a strong feeling about her, like I need her approval, like it lightens my day when she speaks to me or gives me any attention. When I am around her my day goes great if she shows me a lot of attention, and bad if she doesn't. What is that sh**? I can't stand it. I'm married for christ sake. I don't need that sh**.

I am wondering if you were close to your mum because the way you describe it it almost sounds like a child's need for validation. Trust me this is something I completely understand. It does not make you a bad person if this is the case. If it is not a sexual attraction it could possibly be the other. It could be that something about this girl makes you feel safe like a child again and you are looking for validation and approval that you may have lacked then. It is very difficult because even if it is not a sexual attraction it could turn into one so you have to be very careful. That is why I think that you should really try to focus on "dating" your wife. This will help you shift your focus and really rekindle a love for her. If you think that you may be suffering from a child validation thing you can talk to your wife about that openly because she may be able to help you. It might even help for you to talk to the other girl too and ask her to help you so that you don't get too close to her. But that is tricky too because she would have to be very mature and understanding to be able to help you. I am not sure how that might work but I think that if I were her I would try to help. I am married as well so I understand how this can be tricky. But I think first try to identify what the attraction actually is and if there is a different way to get the need met that you are feeling.