Look out! It's a Nice Guy! DESTROY HIM!!

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Mindslave
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01 Aug 2013, 1:31 pm

MjrMajorMajor wrote:
Ladywoofwoof wrote:
MjrMajorMajor wrote:
Greb wrote:
What matters is that there's a whole generation of women, in which many of them are in the edge of sociopathy.


And more insults against a large general group of women. :roll:

Sometimes you do have some insightful comments, but you seem to need to sandwich them between such vitriol. This obviously is putting a lot of respondents on the defensive and is polarizing this discussion. I don't understand people who thrive on antagonism. :?


But the word "general" means "general" .... and so, if he's insulting a general group of women then uhhhhh.... derpa derp herp derp.

Anyway, more to the point.... why do you have to be so insulting towards this poor fellow ?
Calling him antagonistic and suchlike... so cruel and heartless.
You probably step on kittens just for fun, you evil wench !
:shameonyou:


Nah, just chop them up and boil them into stew...
:twisted:


Here's a good cat recipe: http://catrecipes.com/recipes/braisedcat.html



Ladywoofwoof
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01 Aug 2013, 1:51 pm

:-) A good suggestion, although for optimal cat content I would recommend this one :

http://www.buzzfeed.com/ayano/cat-stew-for-those-cold-winter-days-9bp0

Image



cubedemon6073
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01 Aug 2013, 4:23 pm

Quote:
Well, I think the main problem here is that you're taking for granted something that one of the video's points is precissaly to debate: that nice guys think that they're entitled to have a relationship.


Grep, I don't logically follow. How did I take this for granted? I agree with that part of the video and like the video I debate it and don't agree that the nice guys truthfully feel entitled like a lot of feminists claim.



Greb
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01 Aug 2013, 8:58 pm

cubedemon6073 wrote:
Quote:
Well, I think the main problem here is that you're taking for granted something that one of the video's points is precissaly to debate: that nice guys think that they're entitled to have a relationship.


Grep, I don't logically follow. How did I take this for granted? I agree with that part of the video and like the video I debate it and don't agree that the nice guys truthfully feel entitled like a lot of feminists claim.


I'm sorry. I interpreted ' In both cases, the person inadvertently thinks that just because something is required for x it automatically means it is sufficient or guaranteed to obtain x. ' as a nice guy, as having something that is required (to treat a parter or a potential partner well), is automatically guaranteed (or entitled ) to obtain this partner. What does it mean then?


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02 Aug 2013, 1:07 am

Ladywoofwoof wrote:
:-) A good suggestion, although for optimal cat content I would recommend this one :

http://www.buzzfeed.com/ayano/cat-stew-for-those-cold-winter-days-9bp0

Image


I wouldn't eat the calico, according to Japanese folklore they attract money. Not sure what mine does yet...


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cubedemon6073
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02 Aug 2013, 7:31 am

Greb wrote:
cubedemon6073 wrote:
Quote:
Well, I think the main problem here is that you're taking for granted something that one of the video's points is precissaly to debate: that nice guys think that they're entitled to have a relationship.


Grep, I don't logically follow. How did I take this for granted? I agree with that part of the video and like the video I debate it and don't agree that the nice guys truthfully feel entitled like a lot of feminists claim.


I'm sorry. I interpreted ' In both cases, the person inadvertently thinks that just because something is required for x it automatically means it is sufficient or guaranteed to obtain x. ' as a nice guy, as having something that is required (to treat a parter or a potential partner well), is automatically guaranteed (or entitled ) to obtain this partner. What does it mean then?


I will have to clarify further. In order for a guy to date a woman or vice versa sufficient conditions have to be met. It can't be just necessary. Data and going into relationships have a further restriction. One is not allowed to attempt to actively meet his or her sufficient conditions. In other words, one can't just try to arbitrarily try to change himself and be fake to go out on a date with her. One already has to meet the conditions or already have the desired criteria that the other person wants.

For example, let's say the person you want to date loves programming. One can't just all of a sudden love programming and try to become a programmer because they do. Nothing says that one can't work on his personality traits outside of a relationship or develop hobbies he actually does love. One has to choose the hobbies he loves, pick out his values, personality traits outside of a relationship. To try to meet her sufficient conditions like some nice guys try to do will not work. IMHO, seeking a relationship should not be actively sought out. Let's say someone loves to collect coins. If one wants to join a coin collecting club to make friends and share common interests then do it. You may inadvertently find someone you are compatible with.

If you love the beach then go to the beach. If you love programming then join a club or go on listserves to share code with other people. If you love fitness a lot then join a fitness club. You may meet someone you're compatible with. If you're not in a relationship, then don't worry about it and don't worry about who has what. Just live your life, start your own business, work on career development, have some fun or whatever.



appletheclown
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02 Aug 2013, 4:44 pm

Look! It's a nice guy, let's manipulate him to do stuff for us!
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSpuVsLnl1k[/youtube]


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02 Aug 2013, 5:06 pm

cubedemon6073 wrote:
Greb wrote:
cubedemon6073 wrote:
Quote:
Well, I think the main problem here is that you're taking for granted something that one of the video's points is precissaly to debate: that nice guys think that they're entitled to have a relationship.


Grep, I don't logically follow. How did I take this for granted? I agree with that part of the video and like the video I debate it and don't agree that the nice guys truthfully feel entitled like a lot of feminists claim.


I'm sorry. I interpreted ' In both cases, the person inadvertently thinks that just because something is required for x it automatically means it is sufficient or guaranteed to obtain x. ' as a nice guy, as having something that is required (to treat a parter or a potential partner well), is automatically guaranteed (or entitled ) to obtain this partner. What does it mean then?


I will have to clarify further. In order for a guy to date a woman or vice versa sufficient conditions have to be met. It can't be just necessary. Data and going into relationships have a further restriction. One is not allowed to attempt to actively meet his or her sufficient conditions. In other words, one can't just try to arbitrarily try to change himself and be fake to go out on a date with her. One already has to meet the conditions or already have the desired criteria that the other person wants.

For example, let's say the person you want to date loves programming. One can't just all of a sudden love programming and try to become a programmer because they do. Nothing says that one can't work on his personality traits outside of a relationship or develop hobbies he actually does love. One has to choose the hobbies he loves, pick out his values, personality traits outside of a relationship. To try to meet her sufficient conditions like some nice guys try to do will not work. IMHO, seeking a relationship should not be actively sought out. Let's say someone loves to collect coins. If one wants to join a coin collecting club to make friends and share common interests then do it. You may inadvertently find someone you are compatible with.

If you love the beach then go to the beach. If you love programming then join a club or go on listserves to share code with other people. If you love fitness a lot then join a fitness club. You may meet someone you're compatible with. If you're not in a relationship, then don't worry about it and don't worry about who has what. Just live your life, start your own business, work on career development, have some fun or whatever.


One question: why do you consider that the typical 'nice guy' is changing his behaviour in order to get the girl?


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03 Aug 2013, 4:41 pm

Greb after reading oliveoilmums post. I can't deny that you are onto something. :shrug:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/posts236743-start30.html

As a teen she left her maybe nice guy boyfriend for a bad boy who is now on death row. Extreme case, but it does say something alright :?


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03 Aug 2013, 5:08 pm

I find the whole OOM saga bewildering, and difficult to understand.... so, do I have this straight now ?

So, she broke up with this first guy (a boyfriend) -

OOM wrote:
When I met the ex I was about 17 and just broke up with my first ever bf who I had been with since I was 15. Great guy, but very sedate and not all that exciting.


... because he was sedate and not all that exciting.... ;-) oh noez !

... in order to get married to a guy who beat the crap out of her, sounds like a douche, and is now a convicted murderer on death row..... and they were married for two years (he seemingly abused her the entire time they were married) .. because :
OOM wrote:
because he was cute, he was exciting, he was interesting, and he was one hell of a bad boy. Which is exactly what I wanted at the time.


... then she left him, for another guy who would be beating the sh*t out of her if it weren't for the fact that she fights better (well enough to wind up in jail a few times because of it) , and he is also a douche..... and they both seem to feel quite at liberty to go shagging other people if they feel like it.... but she reckons that :
OOM wrote:
We have had a good marriage overall and I know he loves me and I love him. [...] Other than some problems he's gone though, he's a good guy.


... and in the meantime, lots of perfectly nice guys are having difficulty getting into a relationship at all....

I just don't even ..... I mean, what the actual.... my head can't even begin to process.....
8O I think I need to go and duct-tape my brain.... it can't take this quantity of dafuq without breaking.



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03 Aug 2013, 8:21 pm

MR_BOGAN wrote:
Greb after reading oliveoilmums post. I can't deny that you are onto something. :shrug:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/posts236743-start30.html

As a teen she left her maybe nice guy boyfriend for a bad boy who is now on death row. Extreme case, but it does say something alright :?


And OliveOilMom is quite a sensible person (probably she learnt the hard way).

Indeed, this 'women and badasses' stuff is just biological. If we were living in the prehistory those nice guys wouldn't be such good providers. The problem is the denial. It's like women being attracted by guys with money: this is just biologial stuff. Women attracted to guys with resources were more likely to see their offspring survive. And the species is shaped by those who survive. But you'll barely see a woman admit it. It's like modern women have built a theory about them and when they find their biology says otherwise, they can't accept it. And then they enter in denial. Indeed, the main point in the video was that nice guys are those who offer women all that they have been asking for (respect, to listen, to treat well, to share homework, and so), and however they don't feel attracted by them. So there's a contradiction between what women feel and what women say. What can you do? Deny and blame nice guys: you don't like them not because your biology says otherwise, but because they feel entitled to have sex, they're as*holes, under their kind appearance they're really negligible and miserable.

This is how mind works. And so here we are.


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cubedemon6073
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03 Aug 2013, 9:30 pm

Greb wrote:
cubedemon6073 wrote:
Greb wrote:
cubedemon6073 wrote:
Quote:
Well, I think the main problem here is that you're taking for granted something that one of the video's points is precissaly to debate: that nice guys think that they're entitled to have a relationship.


Grep, I don't logically follow. How did I take this for granted? I agree with that part of the video and like the video I debate it and don't agree that the nice guys truthfully feel entitled like a lot of feminists claim.


I'm sorry. I interpreted ' In both cases, the person inadvertently thinks that just because something is required for x it automatically means it is sufficient or guaranteed to obtain x. ' as a nice guy, as having something that is required (to treat a parter or a potential partner well), is automatically guaranteed (or entitled ) to obtain this partner. What does it mean then?


I will have to clarify further. In order for a guy to date a woman or vice versa sufficient conditions have to be met. It can't be just necessary. Data and going into relationships have a further restriction. One is not allowed to attempt to actively meet his or her sufficient conditions. In other words, one can't just try to arbitrarily try to change himself and be fake to go out on a date with her. One already has to meet the conditions or already have the desired criteria that the other person wants.

For example, let's say the person you want to date loves programming. One can't just all of a sudden love programming and try to become a programmer because they do. Nothing says that one can't work on his personality traits outside of a relationship or develop hobbies he actually does love. One has to choose the hobbies he loves, pick out his values, personality traits outside of a relationship. To try to meet her sufficient conditions like some nice guys try to do will not work. IMHO, seeking a relationship should not be actively sought out. Let's say someone loves to collect coins. If one wants to join a coin collecting club to make friends and share common interests then do it. You may inadvertently find someone you are compatible with.

If you love the beach then go to the beach. If you love programming then join a club or go on listserves to share code with other people. If you love fitness a lot then join a fitness club. You may meet someone you're compatible with. If you're not in a relationship, then don't worry about it and don't worry about who has what. Just live your life, start your own business, work on career development, have some fun or whatever.


One question: why do you consider that the typical 'nice guy' is changing his behaviour in order to get the girl?


I've seen it happen in real life. This is where "Be Yourself" comes from. It isn't behavior as so much as pretending to like something or care about something when you don't and vice versa.



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03 Aug 2013, 9:52 pm

Greb wrote:
Indeed, the main point in the video was that nice guys are those who offer women all that they have been asking for (respect, to listen, to treat well, to share homework, and so), and however they don't feel attracted by them. So there's a contradiction between what women feel and what women say.


More blanket statements. Women may not feel attracted to some nice guys. I'm guessing the multitude of happily married nice gentlemen aren't going to be hanging around here to refute your point. :wink:



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03 Aug 2013, 10:12 pm

cubedemon6073 wrote:
I've seen it happen in real life. This is where "Be Yourself" comes from. It isn't behavior as so much as pretending to like something or care about something when you don't and vice versa.


Well, I'm not that sure that this is that b/w. If you're interested in somebody, it's quite logical to show interest to what this person loves. Of course, one thing is to show interest and another one is to lie about your own interests. If you're going out with someone that loves hiking and countryside, then you have to be into hiking. I would agree that telling 'hey, I love it, I always loved it' when that's not true is lying and manipulative.

But nowaday there's another extreme: being completelly selfish and not caring about the other person likes neither doing the smallest effort. 'You like hiking? Great, help yourself. Don't count on me'. And this uses to be sold as 'being authentic'. And blaming people who makes some effort to find a middle point with their partner as people 'tricking and not being themselves;.

And, honestly, I don't like people who lack of self-steem and sell themselves cheap, mutating into whatever is necessary to please the other one. But I don't neither like these new gurus of authenticity so prevalent nowadays, and that are nothing but selfish and unempathic.


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03 Aug 2013, 10:13 pm

Greb wrote:
MR_BOGAN wrote:
Greb after reading oliveoilmums post. I can't deny that you are onto something. :shrug:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/posts236743-start30.html

As a teen she left her maybe nice guy boyfriend for a bad boy who is now on death row. Extreme case, but it does say something alright :?


And OliveOilMom is quite a sensible person (probably she learnt the hard way).

Indeed, this 'women and badasses' stuff is just biological. If we were living in the prehistory those nice guys wouldn't be such good providers. The problem is the denial. It's like women being attracted by guys with money: this is just biologial stuff. Women attracted to guys with resources were more likely to see their offspring survive. And the species is shaped by those who survive. But you'll barely see a woman admit it. It's like modern women have built a theory about them and when they find their biology says otherwise, they can't accept it. And then they enter in denial. Indeed, the main point in the video was that nice guys are those who offer women all that they have been asking for (respect, to listen, to treat well, to share homework, and so), and however they don't feel attracted by them. So there's a contradiction between what women feel and what women say. What can you do? Deny and blame nice guys: you don't like them not because your biology says otherwise, but because they feel entitled to have sex, they're as*holes, under their kind appearance they're really negligible and miserable.

This is how mind works. And so here we are.


I remember reading an article ages ago that men who do more housework get less sex. :lol:

Yeah I agree if you follow evolution this stuff makes sense. So yes!! !

In oliveoilmoms case part of it would have been rebelling against her over protective mother.

With the bad ass thing. You have to think about even in prehistoric days humans were still social animals and worked together. If a man did bad things he would be punished by the group. But yeah when you think about it, say a tribe, the alpha men the more control and power they have, the more they can do whatever they want. Not really that much different in what happens today. I still think it's more an alpha thing though, like a man that is well respected by the group is an alpha to. Maybe more so, he doesn't need a small group of loyal hench men to protect him.

But yeah anyway it makes sense. I agree with you.

But I still stand by my post I made earlier too. Like sure there is a biological attraction happening. But women have brains and can logically see the obvious attraction of a nice guy(well some can). I just don't want to see you and others go down the misogynist road. It will not do you the slightest be of good.


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03 Aug 2013, 10:46 pm

MR_BOGAN wrote:
But I still stand by my post I made earlier too. Like sure there is a biological attraction happening. But women have brains and can logically see the obvious attraction of a nice guy(well some can). I just don't want to see you and others go down the misogynist road. It will not do you the slightest be of good.


Because women nowadays have lost the ability to make any kind of autocritic. Of course, I'm generalising. After all, the person in the video is a woman. But it's quite a majoritary tendency. Having a brain doesn't mean that you can think, if for whatever reason you're in the path of self deception (by the way: recommendation http://www.amazon.com/Mistakes-Were-Mad ... 0156033909 ), and this the usual nowadays. I gave too many chances and it was wasted time. I hope other people don't waste their time as I did. It doesn't worth it.


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