How can I avoid the Friendzone?

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Has anybody else here been friend zoned?
Yes 71%  71%  [ 17 ]
No 29%  29%  [ 7 ]
Total votes : 24

Kurgan
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31 Jul 2013, 12:44 pm

Just break contact with her if the date fails. Usually when you end up in the so-called friend zone, you rarely become real friends anyway. You'll often just become some emotional tampon she talks to on Facebook a few times every two months or so when nobody else wants to take her BS.



Mindslave
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31 Jul 2013, 1:15 pm

vickygleitz wrote:
Because of the posts I think I have a general idea what a friend zone is. I would appreciate a specific definition.


Friend zone just means a guy who she likes, but not romantically, who does not understand the context and body language and all that to pick up on her lack of romantic interest. He must stay in this zone so that her feelings can be protected. If she lets her guard down for one second, he will see it as his one chance, now or never, do or die. Borderline sexual assault can be traumatizing. Even if its not fair to categorize most shy guys that way, a girl can never be too careful, especially with things like reputation. Also, we aren't talking about adults here, these are teenagers and people in their 20s who are trying to navigate many different aspects of life.



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31 Jul 2013, 2:19 pm

Mindslave wrote:
vickygleitz wrote:
Because of the posts I think I have a general idea what a friend zone is. I would appreciate a specific definition.


Friend zone just means a guy who she likes, but not romantically, who does not understand the context and body language and all that to pick up on her lack of romantic interest. He must stay in this zone so that her feelings can be protected. If she lets her guard down for one second, he will see it as his one chance, now or never, do or die. Borderline sexual assault can be traumatizing. Even if its not fair to categorize most shy guys that way, a girl can never be too careful, especially with things like reputation. Also, we aren't talking about adults here, these are teenagers and people in their 20s who are trying to navigate many different aspects of life.

This applies to anyone - male, female, or otherwise.

To be "Friendzoned" is to be considered "Just a Friend" by someone for whom you have deeper romantic (or sexual) feelings.

That's all.



spongy
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31 Jul 2013, 2:33 pm

A)spit on any female that suggests that you become friends with her?


B)Seriously though in order to "achieve" the friend zone you usually have to be friends for a while so try to approach them in a flirty way before you are friends to make your intentions clear from the get go?

I have yet to be friend zoned following A) but B) sounds reasonable if you suck at spitting or something



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03 Aug 2013, 6:27 pm

Hi everybody! I apologise for not being able to pay as much attention to this as I should have, I live on a working farm and rarely get the opportunity to just go online for any real length of time. Anyway, in answer to blue_bean's question, I meant that I have had four girlfriends total, all of which have asked to be "Just Friends". :wall:
My last girlfriend I had actually not really known at all until shortly before we started going out. Hell, I barely knew her name! (Just some background: I went, for grades 9 & 10 to a very small high school and this was while I was in grade 10 and she was in 9) anyhow, we went out a couple of times and then she told me (by email no less) that she wanted to be friends instead.
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Shadus
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03 Aug 2013, 6:56 pm

Hi everybody! I apologise for not being able to pay as much attention to this as I should have, I live on a working farm and rarely get the opportunity to just go online for any real length of time. Anyway, in answer to blue_bean's question, I meant that I have had four girlfriends total, all of which have asked to be "Just Friends". :wall:
My last girlfriend I had actually not really known at all until shortly before we started going out. Hell, I barely knew her name! (Just some background: I went, for grades 9 & 10 to a very small high school and this was while I was in grade 10 and she was in 9) anyhow, we went out a couple of times and then she told me (by email no less) that she wanted to be friends instead.
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Shadus
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03 Aug 2013, 6:57 pm

Did not mean to post that twice. Sorry.
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03 Aug 2013, 10:41 pm

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04 Aug 2013, 5:39 pm

hahaha story of my life. Not that it's all bad... girls are friends with other girls, and befriending lots of girls gives you access to their friends. Also gives you someone on the female side of things to give you dating advice, which, in my experience, you don't even have to ask for a lot of times. Not that either of these things have helped me in any great capacity yet... but things are improving rapidly.


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TheZachadoodle
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04 Aug 2013, 8:04 pm

rabidmonkey4262 wrote:
Do you have any guesses why a girl might friendzone you? Maybe you inadvertently gave her a nonverbal signal that told her you weren't interested? If you want to date an NT, it definitely helps to flirt a bit. Start safe with some smiles. If she smiles back and makes eye contact, then try some playful teasing and mild complements (nothing sexual and nothing about her body). It could be that she tried flirting with you and you didn't recognize it, therefore you didn't reciprocate. The key is to pay close attention to her body language and reciprocate with a matching level of intensity.

Yeah do what this person says :)



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04 Aug 2013, 8:14 pm

Quote:
How can I avoid the Friendzone?


Don't become friends with someone unless you ACTUALLY WANT TO BE THEIR FRIEND. Have some self-respect and don't hang around hoping that they'll magically fall for you.


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Shadus
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05 Aug 2013, 11:55 pm

Who_Am_I, I don't, I am either their friend from the start and nothing more or I fall for them, they don't fall for me, they want to be friends, and I want them to be happy so I am a friend to them. Then I slowly get over them and we're just friends.
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Major_G
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06 Aug 2013, 11:27 pm

Shadus wrote:
I am 16 and have had four girlfriends so far. I have also been friend zoned four times so far. How can I prevent that with my next relationship?
Note: I am going into a new school this coming year.
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4 GFs at 16?! You need to give ME tips!


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The_Face_of_Boo
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07 Aug 2013, 1:34 am

blue_bean wrote:
Is the OP saying he's had 4 girlfriends and also four friendzoners, or is he saying he had 4 girlfriends who eventually friendzoned him?


:?: yeah, that confused me as hell.


If he's 16 and had FOUR girlfriends then...hell...OP, just continue what you were doing, no need for advice about friendzone.



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07 Aug 2013, 2:41 am

It's actually dead simple: Be honest.

Don't feign friendship if you are interested in someone. Flirt, be playful and fun, excite them; there are a million ways to build attraction (Google it) and trust me, if the connection is genuine, the sexual tension will build up very quickly.

Pretending to be a girl's friend hurts two people. You, when she inevitably friendzones you because there is no attraction; but also her, when she finds out her "good friend" was just looking to get into her pants. Don't be that guy.

On the other hand you should also try not to become too invested. Keep your distance emotionally and let her pursue; again, if she's really into you, she will reciprocate. If not, you just saved yourself the heartbreak. :)



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07 Aug 2013, 1:30 pm

dude you've had 4 girlfriends and you're only 16
that sounds pretty damn good to me