Why do people on the spectrum drain my energy?

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DevilKisses
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06 Aug 2013, 2:41 pm

Most of the time when I'm around people on the spectrum, even people with only ADHD my energy gets extremely drained. It doesn't matter whether I know about their diagnosis or not. This also happens with NTs, but not to the same degree. Being around some people actually boosts my energy. I think most of those people are NTs.


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qawer
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06 Aug 2013, 2:45 pm

I find that social energy is contagious. So the social energy from NTs might affect you positively, while the energy from AS people oppositely could drain you.

On the other hand NT people sometimes seem to find it relaxing to be around AS people that might be more calm.



btbnnyr
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06 Aug 2013, 2:48 pm

NTs drain my energy most, then high functioning autistic people, then lower functioning non or limited verbal autistic people, they are least draining to me, like the lack of interaction is good for us all.


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DevilKisses
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06 Aug 2013, 3:06 pm

btbnnyr wrote:
NTs drain my energy most, then high functioning autistic people, then lower functioning non or limited verbal autistic people, they are least draining to me, like the lack of interaction is good for us all.

For me it's like this.
1. Noisy non verbal people drain it the most because of my sensory issues.
2. Most aspies.
3. Demanding NTs who don't understand me.
4. Some ADHD people.
5. The average NT.
6. NTs with good conversation skills that talk about stuff that interests me actually boost my energy.


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btbnnyr
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06 Aug 2013, 3:11 pm

I find NTs most boring to talk to, because they tend to go on and on and on (this sounds like I am describing asperger stereotype, but this is how NTs behave around me, maybe they can't read my non-verbal cues to stop, so I have to interrupt them often).

HFAs are sometimes interesting to talk to, because we tend to have conversations about weirder topics, but again, one sided on and on and on.

I like to talk to people who talk in short spurts, then I say something short, then they say something short, etc etc etc, fast short back and forth.


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MathGirl
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06 Aug 2013, 3:17 pm

Some NTs can be fun and interesting to talk to, but I find being around other people on the spectrum strangely comforting, even if we don't have many interests in common. Maybe I'm just a crazy freak, though.


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DevilKisses
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06 Aug 2013, 3:19 pm

btbnnyr wrote:
I find NTs most boring to talk to, because they tend to go on and on and on (this sounds like I am describing asperger stereotype, but this is how NTs behave around me, maybe they can't read my non-verbal cues to stop, so I have to interrupt them often).

HFAs are sometimes interesting to talk to, because we tend to have conversations about weirder topics, but again, one sided on and on and on.

I like to talk to people who talk in short spurts, then I say something short, then they say something short, etc etc etc, fast short back and forth.

My favorite people to talk to are quirky NTs. They often talk about more interesting topics without being one sided. With aspies I have to share their special interest to be able to have a good conversation. I find the normal NTs are draining, but not as draining as a room full of aspies.


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You are very likely neurotypical


DynamiteMonkey
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06 Aug 2013, 3:24 pm

Were not a separate detached species, so were no better to be around our "own kind". If being with people tires you, then if you're with people on the spectrum, it will still tire you.



CockneyRebel
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06 Aug 2013, 4:24 pm

I find that many NTs drain my energy.


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Willard
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06 Aug 2013, 4:26 pm

Other Spectrumites generally are much easier for me to be around.

Neurotypical types seem to look for ways to get on my last nerve, and make me exhausted.



Declension
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06 Aug 2013, 8:30 pm

The truth is, some aspects of AS can make aspies tedious to be around, even (especially?) for other aspies. Trying to dominate the conversation with pet topics, and all that. It's a good reminder that we need to control that part of ourselves, since it can be annoying.



rapidroy
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06 Aug 2013, 11:36 pm

DevilKisses wrote:
btbnnyr wrote:
I find NTs most boring to talk to, because they tend to go on and on and on (this sounds like I am describing asperger stereotype, but this is how NTs behave around me, maybe they can't read my non-verbal cues to stop, so I have to interrupt them often).

HFAs are sometimes interesting to talk to, because we tend to have conversations about weirder topics, but again, one sided on and on and on.

I like to talk to people who talk in short spurts, then I say something short, then they say something short, etc etc etc, fast short back and forth.

My favorite people to talk to are quirky NTs. They often talk about more interesting topics without being one sided. With aspies I have to share their special interest to be able to have a good conversation. I find the normal NTs are draining, but not as draining as a room full of aspies.


Some of those quirky NTs may actually be aspies or thoses close to the spectrum, thoses who have learned some basic social skills or those who can settle in well to a conversation of their intrest. If you and I had a conversation on a topic like how different tonewoods affect the tone of musical insturments the dynamics of that interaction may not drain you or I like an aspie talking about say a video game or TV show you or I have never heard of or care to learn about. There are so meny variables to having a conversation with an aspie to make a blanket statement about all of us however I do know some people with any kind of autism or developmental disabillity can be very draining to talk to becouse of the complexites of having a meaningful interaction, draining in much the same way playing the small talk game can be. One other issue that comes up that has not been mentioned yet is simple speech issues that meny aspies have like aspie accents, prosidy issues, lisps, volume issues etc. that meny aspies have, meny also don't as well or have worked to midigate them to a point where they can pass for good enough to understand. I can have all of the issues I wrote about or very few, it just depends on the situation.



Jonov
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07 Aug 2013, 10:43 am

Depends what you expect to get out of the contacts with them, and how you see yourself in the world.

I had a time in my life that all I wanted was to fit in with the "normal" people, and had convinced myself that nothing was wrong with me, and for a while that worked, but when I was around people with disorders I felt like it would pull me down, because I'd be confronted with the parts of myself that I tried so dearly to mask and forget.

I am very glad I got over that, and now I actually enjoy being around both NT's and people on the spectrum, but the latter are still easier to talk to and less draining.



paxfilosoof
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07 Aug 2013, 11:01 am

wtf this is really a stupid thread. First of all everyone has neurotypical and aspergian traits. You can't say: this person is or has asperger and this one is neurotypical.
Their is no way possible that or neurotypicals or aspergers drain more energy. It depends. It's really bad that people still seems to believe that asperger is a well defined group of things that are bad or disorder. It's not. Every single human being I met has asperger traits and neurotypical traits. in fact, the richest places on earth has on average more aspergian traits (NOT more diagnosis).

w/e



zer0netgain
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07 Aug 2013, 11:24 am

Declension wrote:
The truth is, some aspects of AS can make aspies tedious to be around, even (especially?) for other aspies. Trying to dominate the conversation with pet topics, and all that. It's a good reminder that we need to control that part of ourselves, since it can be annoying.


+1

When I try to discuss hot topics with my mom, she can't stay on topic for love or money. I wanted to just stop talking to her because I had to keep trying to keep her on topic, and it was taking all my energy as it was to stay on topic myself.