I have ASD(diagnosed) but I'm very good at reading people?

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kapo
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05 Oct 2013, 7:14 pm

I'm not sure if "reading people" is the correct term, I wouldn't say that I'm good at reading people's emotions face to face. I'm not sure if I'm bad at this (I can't really tell tbqh), but I wouldn't say I was notably good at it.

What I mean is that I'm good at "figuring people out." I can work out people's personality very quickly, and the reasons behind their actions etc.

I'm very into a band (TVXQ) and often we the fans will discuss the members (obviously). Whenever I write out my explanations a lot of people say they're amazed, that I should be a psychologist etc.

See.. this doesn't make any sense to me. I always thought that, as a person with ASD, this would not be my forte lol.

Does anyone have this trait? Is my diagnosis possibly incorrect? Is this because they're just band members, not people irl?

I'd like your opinions.



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05 Oct 2013, 7:19 pm

even though you can read emotions, it may not have came naturally to you. i know that when i was younger, i drew a lot, but i couldnt get a hang of emotional expression, so i studied facial expression and eventually caught on.


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kapo
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05 Oct 2013, 7:30 pm

ZombieBrideXD wrote:
even though you can read emotions, it may not have came naturally to you. i know that when i was younger, i drew a lot, but i couldnt get a hang of emotional expression, so i studied facial expression and eventually caught on.

Yes, I had thought it might be something like this. It's a skill I've only really had now that I'm older, having spent years analysing characters in TV shows etc.



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05 Oct 2013, 9:56 pm

'reading people' is a skill that entails a lot of different levels, from general 'body language', to facial expression and much more. When one interacts socially, the entire panoply of the senses is engaged and there are subconscious elements as well - like pheremones (smells and other chemicals). Some of this stuff is not really measurable, but it all counts! Being able to pick up on voice tone, and postural tension, but not 'see' the facial meanings might give you an edge that is compensating for the stuff you missed on diagnostic tests...And also, learning social skills is cumulative.

While most NTs are quick in the early years to learn these things, many people on the spectrum do eventually pick them up, and some become quite good at it...even better than NTs in some areas. Perhaps it's the compensation thing, eventual maturity, and the fact that we have to consciously work at it.

So, yes. You can have ASD and become quite skilled at reading people...



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05 Oct 2013, 10:07 pm

I'm confused. You're into a band called TVXQ. I guess you've seen many of their videos but not met them. Are you saying you can work out the personality of the band members just by watching their videos?



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05 Oct 2013, 10:33 pm

kapo wrote:
I'm very into a band (TVXQ) and often we the fans will discuss the members (obviously). Whenever I write out my explanations a lot of people say they're amazed, that I should be a psychologist etc.


Amateur psychoanalysis of strangers is not 'reading people,' it's a fantasy game - and unless you have met these people personally and observed them over a long period, you have no way of verifying whether any of your guesses are remotely correct.

The Autistic challenges in reading nonverbal cues have to do with picking up on body language that indicates other people's current emotional states and social attitudes and knowing how to predict how they may behave based on that understanding, as well as knowing how to respond appropriately in the moment.

The truth is, it's entirely possible (and even common for people with AS) to think that they're functioning socially as normally as everybody else, when, in fact, everybody else in the room can see that they have no clue what's actually going on. :oops:



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06 Oct 2013, 4:30 am

OK!
There is an answer to one of my questions.
I feel very normal and friends actually come to me for advice on human matters, but I have got so much critizism for my behavior in social situations, - ever since kindergarten, so I have become very careful with people.
Perhaps I am "good at human stuff" because I have been reading a lot about psychology, some anthropology and am, in general, rather good at putting two and two together.
That was the explanation, I had from my psychologist and I thought: "Him and his "darlings" (theories), - but he is probably right.
A new insight.
Thank you, Willard :)


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foxfield
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06 Oct 2013, 8:48 am

have you seen this site? It is list of typical traits of women with autism, compiled by a psychologist with many years of experience in the field.

LINK

These sections in particular may interest you

Quote:
11. Emotional

Feels things deeply

Other people’s moods affect her, especially if they are negative

Tends to be very sensitive to emotional pain

Deeply moved by arts, music, certain movies

May be unable to watch horror, violence, disturbing movies, and news programs

Lives with continual generalized anxiety, bouts of depression that creep up on her

Difficulty regulating emotions and managing stress

Is socially and emotionally younger/immature than her chronological age, much younger if in her twenties

Naive, honest (often too honest)

Emotionally too honest (inability or difficulty hiding true feelings when it would be more socially acceptable to do so)

Experiences intense emotions of all kinds (for e.g. when she falls in love, she ‘falls’ in love deeply)

May think she is being compassionate, but her actions may not come across that way

Often too sensitive and possesses a lot of empathy

Usually connect and/or are very sensitive to certain characters in movies

Highly sensitive to issues affecting earth, animals, people, advocacy, justice, human rights and the “underdog”


and

Quote:
15. Sixth Sense, Intuition, Psychic Abilities

Has the ability to feel other people emotions

May “know” or have knowledge of certain things, but no idea how she knows

May be a professional psychic or medium

Possesses one or more psychic abilities

Is an “empath”



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06 Oct 2013, 11:48 am

I'm a diagnosed Aspie but I don't have a problem with reading people either. I can figure out people's personalities quick. I can also read emotions and intentions through body language and voice and face expressions. I got really upset at work about something a few days ago, and when I was at work yesterday, a girl was obviously concerned about my mood from the other day, and I could tell she was trying to hint little things to try and get me to bring it up, because she was obviously too shy to ask outright. The hints weren't really obvious, but could still tell what she was trying to do. Then I told her near the end of our shift, because I didn't want it to look like I had guessed straight away, if you know what I mean. She looked really interested when I told her why, and seemed more happier after, so I knew I was right about her trying to hint to me all day. I could just ''read the signs''. Plus I haven't known her for very long.

I also remember when I hadn't long turned 4, I was walking to a restaurant with my family, but it seemed such a long walk that I was getting tired and wanted to be carried. My mum said no, so I had a tantrum as I was walking along. Then suddenly my aunt came towards me and I could see by her facial expression and body language that she was getting annoyed with me and was about to smack me. I tried to run off but she was too quick for me, and she caught me up and, yes, I got a smack, and she yelled at me that I was being naughty. I stopped after that. But I can still remember that moment now, and that was the first time I had seen my aunt do that, and felt pretty surprised. And there are other memories I have of being able to read emotions and other signs through body language as a young child.

How I still got diagnosed with AS? I wouldn't know. :?


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06 Oct 2013, 12:15 pm

foxfield wrote:
have you seen this site? It is list of typical traits of women with autism, compiled by a psychologist with many years of experience in the field.

LINK

These sections in particular may interest you

Quote:
11. Emotional

Feels things deeply

Other people’s moods affect her, especially if they are negative

Tends to be very sensitive to emotional pain

Deeply moved by arts, music, certain movies

May be unable to watch horror, violence, disturbing movies, and news programs

Lives with continual generalized anxiety, bouts of depression that creep up on her

Difficulty regulating emotions and managing stress

Is socially and emotionally younger/immature than her chronological age, much younger if in her twenties

Naive, honest (often too honest)

Emotionally too honest (inability or difficulty hiding true feelings when it would be more socially acceptable to do so)

Experiences intense emotions of all kinds (for e.g. when she falls in love, she ‘falls’ in love deeply)

May think she is being compassionate, but her actions may not come across that way

Often too sensitive and possesses a lot of empathy

Usually connect and/or are very sensitive to certain characters in movies

Highly sensitive to issues affecting earth, animals, people, advocacy, justice, human rights and the “underdog”


and

Quote:
15. Sixth Sense, Intuition, Psychic Abilities

Has the ability to feel other people emotions

May “know” or have knowledge of certain things, but no idea how she knows

May be a professional psychic or medium

Possesses one or more psychic abilities

Is an “empath”


Is this considered the female version of Asperger's? meaning that the frequency of females with these traits are higher or more common, thus deserving its own sub group, if you will.

I've read here on this forum that, some women were diagnosed with the male's version of Asperger's which could mean that there are a female's version of Asperger's.

I'm strongly suspecting that I have this "version" of Asperger's, even though I am male. The thing that hasn't pushed me to go and get a formal diagnoses is that my AQ is only 23 (eccentric). Where as the rest of me is pretty much on par with Asperger diagnoses. e.g. RAADS-R test etc.

Why I'm posting in this thread is that, I've gotten the same comments as what the OP was given. It confuses me too. I got comments like, you should be a psychologist, or a priest or... Yet I'm not claiming or trying to be one of those. That list in the post makes sense, one thing that hits home is the immaturity level of mine. To confuse me further, they tell me I should be a psychologist. The confusion simply continues. :scratch:



Joe90
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06 Oct 2013, 12:24 pm

Stalk wrote:
foxfield wrote:
have you seen this site? It is list of typical traits of women with autism, compiled by a psychologist with many years of experience in the field.

LINK

These sections in particular may interest you

Quote:
11. Emotional

Feels things deeply

Other people’s moods affect her, especially if they are negative

Tends to be very sensitive to emotional pain

Deeply moved by arts, music, certain movies

May be unable to watch horror, violence, disturbing movies, and news programs

Lives with continual generalized anxiety, bouts of depression that creep up on her

Difficulty regulating emotions and managing stress

Is socially and emotionally younger/immature than her chronological age, much younger if in her twenties

Naive, honest (often too honest)

Emotionally too honest (inability or difficulty hiding true feelings when it would be more socially acceptable to do so)

Experiences intense emotions of all kinds (for e.g. when she falls in love, she ‘falls’ in love deeply)

May think she is being compassionate, but her actions may not come across that way

Often too sensitive and possesses a lot of empathy

Usually connect and/or are very sensitive to certain characters in movies

Highly sensitive to issues affecting earth, animals, people, advocacy, justice, human rights and the “underdog”


and

Quote:
15. Sixth Sense, Intuition, Psychic Abilities

Has the ability to feel other people emotions

May “know” or have knowledge of certain things, but no idea how she knows

May be a professional psychic or medium

Possesses one or more psychic abilities

Is an “empath”


Is this considered the female version of Asperger's? meaning that the frequency of females with these traits are higher or more common, thus deserving its own sub group, if you will.

I've read here on this forum that, some women were diagnosed with the male's version of Asperger's which could mean that there are a female's version of Asperger's.

I'm strongly suspecting that I have this "version" of Asperger's, even though I am male. The thing that hasn't pushed me to go and get a formal diagnoses is that my AQ is only 23 (eccentric). Where as the rest of me is pretty much on par with Asperger diagnoses. e.g. RAADS-R test etc.

Why I'm posting in this thread is that, I've gotten the same comments as what the OP was given. It confuses me too. I got comments like, you should be a psychologist, or a priest or... Yet I'm not claiming or trying to be one of those. That list in the post makes sense, one thing that hits home is the immaturity level of mine. To confuse me further, they tell me I should be a psychologist. The confusion simply continues. :scratch:


A lot of those traits sound like some typical NT traits.


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Mishra2012
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06 Oct 2013, 12:27 pm

I learned to "read people" through trial and error, taking note of common responses to similar things, asking and studying (sitting in on a friend's class, online articles, videos and eventually taking my own psych/social science classes).

I am not great at it; I doubt I ever will master it. When I notice an expression I can't place I get scared and automatically mark it as negative.

I still miss some intentions(from what someone says) until I am alone and reflect back then it "clicks".


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foxfield
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06 Oct 2013, 2:15 pm

Stalk wrote:
foxfield wrote:
have you seen this site? It is list of typical traits of women with autism, compiled by a psychologist with many years of experience in the field.

LINK


Is this considered the female version of Asperger's? meaning that the frequency of females with these traits are higher or more common, thus deserving its own sub group, if you will.

I've read here on this forum that, some women were diagnosed with the male's version of Asperger's which could mean that there are a female's version of Asperger's.

I'm strongly suspecting that I have this "version" of Asperger's, even though I am male. The thing that hasn't pushed me to go and get a formal diagnoses is that my AQ is only 23 (eccentric). Where as the rest of me is pretty much on par with Asperger diagnoses. e.g. RAADS-R test etc.

Why I'm posting in this thread is that, I've gotten the same comments as what the OP was given. It confuses me too. I got comments like, you should be a psychologist, or a priest or... Yet I'm not claiming or trying to be one of those. That list in the post makes sense, one thing that hits home is the immaturity level of mine. To confuse me further, they tell me I should be a psychologist. The confusion simply continues. :scratch:


I'm not sure. I think the woman who wrote the blog works almost exclusively with females who have aspergers/autism, and so thats what she's writing about. Its perfectly possible that a lot of autistic men could share these traits too.

heres a site that doesn't focus just on women. It argues that that the stereotype that autistic have less empathy is largely a myth, and that many autistic people have much higher levels of empathy than normal.

heres an excerpt from the article "Empaths on the Autism Spectrum" by Karla McLaren on that site.

Quote:
But even amidst all of this static and confusion, many of my Spectrum friends were achingly, scathingly aware of the social world around them. I mean hilariously, dead-on aware, if you would only listen to them. In fact, they were as uncommonly aware of the social world as some of my wildly empathic friends were. What I saw in these people was not a lack of empathy, but a difficulty in dealing with an often-overwhelming sensory onslaught, from the outside world, from their struggle to decipher neurotypical social absurdities, and from inside their own brains.

My Spectrum friends were incredibly sensitive to sounds (especially very quiet sounds that many neurotypicals can ignore), colors, patterns, vibrations, scents, the wind, movement (their own and that of the people around them), the feeling of their clothing, the sound of their own hair and their breathing, food, touch, numbers, animals, social space, social behavior, electronics, the movement of traffic, the movement of trees and birds, ideas, music, juxtapositions between voice and body movements, the bizarre, emotion-masking signaling neurotypicals call “normal behavior” … many of my friends were struggling to stand upright in turbulent and unmanageable currents of incoming stimuli that could not be stopped, bargained with, ignored, moderated, or organized.

In short, my friends on the Spectrum were overwhelmingly, intensely, unremittingly, outrageously empathic — not merely in relation to emotions and social cues, but to every possible aspect of their environment.


AUTISM AND EMPATHY SITE



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06 Oct 2013, 2:41 pm

You do not have to present every trait to be diagnosed. That is one reason it is called a spectrum.


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06 Oct 2013, 5:15 pm

I always thought it was odd that I could read people too, but recently I read the book A field Guide to Earthlings, and now I understand much better what I think is going on. It explains a lot of the ways that NTs use conversation to establish rank, make symbolic connections about things, establish alliances, among other things. They use "small talk" and conversations to do this, and even though I don't pick up on all of that, i can see their actual intentions, and read their personality. The book suggests that we may be able to read them because of not picking up on all of their non verbal clues. It's a very good book, and to whoever suggested it on here Thank you! I would also suggest it to others now, if like me you don't understand how NTs can just babble on about seemingly nothing, it really helps explain it.



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07 Oct 2013, 8:24 am

I hate it when I read a site about Asperger's Syndrome, and going through each trait and going, ''that's not me, nor that, I don't get like that, I never feel like that, I cannot relate to that, no I wasn't like that as a child....'' then I feel quite happy and start hoping that maybe I don't have Asperger's but was misdiagnosed and I really have something else. Then I come on to a thread like this and a list of Asperger's traits for girls gets shown and I'm like, ''oh....I have that, and that, and that, I get like that all the time....oh my God this list is exactly me, 19 out of 20 traits listed here are the traits I have...''

Then I get depressed.


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