Page 2 of 2 [ 26 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

JSBACHlover
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Oct 2013
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,282

20 Oct 2013, 5:04 pm

An atheist? What happened? Was it something the church did or didn't do?



JSBACHlover
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Oct 2013
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,282

20 Oct 2013, 5:07 pm

I'm criticized relentlessly for every little thing I do wrong or any way I act odd. So I know how I walk, hold my head, move my facial muscles, direct my eyes, etc.



wozeree
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Aug 2013
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,344

20 Oct 2013, 5:12 pm

JSBACHlover wrote:
An atheist? What happened? Was it something the church did or didn't do?


Nope, not the church or any church really. I mean I can see the flaws in religion too, but to me since we're all human that doesn't negate the good they do. It's more just that I never really could communicate with any God and I think I need evidence to believe. I do however believe there could be a creator of some kind, just don't believe it's the Judeo/Christian God. Could be any entity or thing good or evil or maybe even just indifferent. Just have no idea.



JSBACHlover
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Oct 2013
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,282

20 Oct 2013, 5:22 pm

Oh I see. I understand the difficulty regarding communication with God. I, too, rarely feel God's presence, and when many speak of their experiences I just look at them wishing I could feel that much, too. It's hard, very hard, to believe without a strong experience. I had a few in the past which helped me along the way, though in the past several years my prayer has felt very dry. Without having gone through the proofs earlier in my life, I would have abandoned my faith before seminary. But I am here and here to stay, even with the perpetual dryness in prayer.



JSBACHlover
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Oct 2013
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,282

20 Oct 2013, 5:24 pm

Guess what? While I was on this forum one of my sisters and I had a nice text exchange on the phone. She seems to believe me now that I do have Aspergers. That's nice because she's a neurologist. It's so nice to have a sister of mine see something that has apparently been a part of my life since I was born.



wozeree
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Aug 2013
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,344

20 Oct 2013, 5:27 pm

Yay! I never get this denial thing.



GregCav
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Apr 2013
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 679
Location: Australia

20 Oct 2013, 7:29 pm

This is a rare thread (peaceful and polite).

JSBACHlover, I'm 47 and was diagnosed this time last year. High functioning with no outward awkwardness, voice or visual cues. I do avoid eye contact, and was awkward and afraid of girls until recently.

You'll be one of the few people who will understand when I say;
I used to complain to God for years that I don't understand. I wanted a relationship, I would have meltdowns when I see a couple in the streets or on TV being happy together. I was so desperate to be like them, and I couldn't understand why I couldn't. So I would cry to God "Tell me what to do, I don't understand". He answered me one day and said "You don't have to understand, because I do".

That was about 4 years ago. In that time I've lived with a girl (arrangement only), had good friendships with two girls, found a great social therapist who has helped me tremendously, and finally got diagnosed with Asperger's.

I can be a lot more relaxed and accepting of my situation now. I still don't understand, but I'm moving with faith. As demonstrated above, my life is changing rapidly (never fast enough). I will get there, I know I will.



JSBACHlover
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Oct 2013
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,282

21 Oct 2013, 10:47 am

I do understand. It takes us Aspies a long time to get our acts together. (I can't tell you the number of times I've been told "get your act together! as if I knew what that meant!) So God has an extra responsibility to take care of us and to help us, because we were born with a kind of disability.

I am really happy that your life is going better and that God is a part of your life. Peace!



JSBACHlover
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Oct 2013
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,282

21 Oct 2013, 11:04 am

franknfurter wrote:
?


I have quit university and gone back home as of yesterday. I was not coping at all, I felt angry and violent all the time and I did not want to look at people or talk to people at all, i kept getting awful mood swings that scared me. I think it was the amount of change that did it and the lack of structure.

I am now at home which I am so relieved by and am going to start an open university course in health sciences so its all ok.


So happy you are figuring your life out. You'll get through this I have no doubts!



AspiePride12345
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 20 Oct 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 15

21 Oct 2013, 7:24 pm

I find generally the older members of my family "don't get it" and try to treat me to the same standards of someone without AS but at the same time there are things I just can't do or find difficult. I try to function without them I'm not going to chase them if they are too busy to find time for me.