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J-H-H
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29 Oct 2013, 4:51 pm

I'm in the second year of high school now, my first year went pretty much down the drain because of anxiety issues. I promised my mom that I wouldn't go down that road again, but I already am. I can't focus on my school work no matter how much I try. I rarely turn my homework in because I can't just sit down and do it, I procrastinate a lot too. My teachers have given me more than a few warnings and I always give them empty promises that I'll finish it but when I start working on an essay, I get so bored and kind of sad. I think I'm failing. It's not all because I'm lazy, of course a part of it is, but I just can't bring myself to concentrate. I never have.

I've never been good at school, because I sometimes forget to turn assignments in and I rarely give my 100% into my school-work. This has become a real problem. I just can't study (Except when it's something that interests me) because my mind always wanders elsewhere and I'm not capable! My teachers tell me that whenever I actually turn in something I worked hard on, it's always really well done and great. They say that I could be a top student if it wasn't for my anxiety. What can I do and why do I do this?



Wags
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29 Oct 2013, 4:58 pm

I'm in the exact same situation buddy. Missed months of school because of my anxiety. I started homeschooling now but i'm being forced to go back later this year, or possibly next year. I have a hard time because its so overwhelming, 8 classes and you're expected to do great in every one. It's stressful for an NT, imagine how so for someone on the spectrum!

I'm the king of procrastination lol. I never talk in school, if the teacher calls on me I freeze up and don't know what to do. I had a friend in middle school that helped me with A LOT, especially in home economics. He helped me with cooking, sewing, wow he made school a lot easier for me. Unfortunately I moved so I'm not with him anymore, such a shame :(

It's also so hard to get interested in the school topics, and I day dream throughout the whole class. I remember I used to daydream I was driving in a race, and I would plan out standings and everything, each day would be a new race LOL. I also sometimes imagined myself being a star and singing in a concert, let's just say I was zoned out A LOT! The day dreaming sort of stopped in 9th grade, but I still do at home. The worst part is walking down the hallways, or the courtyard with 2000 people all around me! It's so stressful and anxiety provoking, I just want to run and hide.

You're not alone.



Adamantium
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29 Oct 2013, 5:05 pm

You have to find a way to make yourself do the work. It's really important and it's really hard.

I'm 48 and school is way, way behind me now, but it's still really hard. Only now the boring sh*t is for my employer and if I don't do it I will be fired and forgotten.

Do yourself a favor and find a way to overcome this now.

Also--if the anxiety is killing you, get some meds. I have them now and wish I had had them then. Anxiety is massive waste of time, energy and life.

Good luck! You can do it!



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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29 Oct 2013, 5:38 pm

Would it help to lay out reason to side step perfectionism?

There are also methods to multi-task in school, for example starting to do sample problems in the math book as the teacher goes over problems, take notes even if messy to stay alert, at the beginning of the next class, quickly scan through these circling or boxing in the most important things, etc.



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29 Oct 2013, 7:09 pm

What can you do? Consider anti anxiety meds. Risperidone (Risperdal) is the anti anxiety drug of choice for aspies. You might not need much and it shouldn't make you disfunctional.

Why do you do it? Well, you find school boring. It is.

The theory is that you need a broad, general education before being trusted to specialise. You'd probably do well at school now if you were only allowed to specialise. But you're not - the freedom to specialise comes later if you manage to get through school.

Are there any subjects you really enjoy at school? Focus on them and allow the really boring stuff to slide. Try to set a long term goal - would you like to do astrophysics at yale? What's the minimum you need to do at school to achieve this. Or similar goal :)

Where would you like to be in 5 or 10 years time? What might your educational speciality look like? What's the minimum it would it take to achieve?

Or would you like to stack shelves in walmart? Which is a bit of a life sentence of boredom and bullying.

Me? I chose shelf stacking at 15 and it aint done me no favours. But you're not me. Maybe you'll leave school in 2 years and be a rock star in 4...



LupaLuna
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29 Oct 2013, 8:06 pm

If boardem is what you're dealing with then toughen up and get over it because there are a lot of boarding thing in life. The biggest thing that cause me to fail school was because of all the distraction in the classroom. I don't see how anybody can learn/study anything being in a classroom with other students. But then again. thats just me and I am not NT.



J-H-H
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29 Oct 2013, 8:16 pm

You guys are right, thank you so much! And guess what? I finished my essay tonight, and I'm quite satisfied with it! I feel more motivated now, I just hope it doesn't disappear. :D



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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29 Oct 2013, 9:37 pm

Congrats on the essay! :nemo:



Codyrules37
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30 Oct 2013, 9:02 am

School sux but you must keep going. Listen to this epic speech.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-wOKrD_nRE[/youtube]



Callista
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30 Oct 2013, 11:19 am

What are you anxious about? Are you worried about failing or disappointing people? Are you stressed by the school environment?

Anxiety tends to fade once you get used to the source of your anxiety, if that source is something that you tend to avoid to get away from feeling anxious. If you avoid working on schoolwork because you're anxious, then working on it, consciously telling yourself that it doesn't matter if you fail, may help you.

I get the same thing: If I'm working on something, if I can give my best, I can do amazing things. But most of the time I can't get started. I have ADHD (check yourself for that), which makes it harder to organize myself and get started on things, but you don't need to have ADHD to have trouble with getting started. Try breaking things down into such small steps that each step seems very simple. Get ridiculous if you have to, with steps as small as, "Pick up the textbook and turn to page 45."

And one last thing: If you can get interested in what you are learning, you'll probably do very well. When you're studying, forget about grades and forget about what your teachers think; forget about deadlines and people's expectations. Just get curious. They might be making you learn this stuff, but that doesn't mean that you have to let them suck all the joy out of it. Most likely you have learned things on your own and enjoyed learning them--whatever your hobbies are, you probably know a lot about them. All of those things in your textbook are there because, at some point, somebody got really curious and interested and discovered them. Even if you don't get good grades, even if you don't make your parents or teachers proud, just learn. For its own sake. Because knowing things feels good.


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Codyrules37
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30 Oct 2013, 11:27 am

do you have an IEP? getting those things help. You can also try asking your teachers for help or your parents or some asian at your school.

If all else fails, you can always drop out and join the mafia. they can make pretty good money. Then you can get your GED



Callista
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30 Oct 2013, 12:10 pm

Codyrules37 wrote:
do you have an IEP? getting those things help. You can also try asking your teachers for help or your parents or some asian at your school.

If all else fails, you can always drop out and join the mafia. they can make pretty good money. Then you can get your GED
LOL... right. An Aspie mafioso. Oh, and there's the little drawback of having to join organized crime...

Seriously, though, dropping out and getting your GED IS an option. It's harder to get into college with a GED, but if you start out at a community college, get good grades there, and then transfer, you can do it just fine. I wouldn't recommend dropping out without long-term plans, though. High school dropouts have a lot harder time getting jobs, even if they do get their GEDs, so you want to have plans to go for an associate's degree, certificate, or four-year degree. It all depends on your career goals, interests, and talents.

If the school environment is the primary problem, home-schooling may be an option. If your parents aren't the intellectual teachery types, or don't have the time, you will either be teaching yourself or getting tutors. Just make sure that you get the information into your head somehow--home schooling is not another word for "no schooling"!


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