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loving yourself

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auntblabby
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14 Nov 2013, 5:03 pm

smudge wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
smudge wrote:
I first started learning to love myself by facing myself in the mirror, and pulling funny faces. That helped me not to take myself so seriously. Saying stuff like, "I love myself" doesn't do anything.

don't say "...myself" but instead say to your reflection in the mirror, "I love YOU!! !"


That works? I wouldn't know now, 'cos I already love myself. :wink:

well then, just like in most relationships, one wants to hear it for oneself, doesn't one? your psyche wants to hear it from YOU that you love YOU, out loud, unreservedly.



tweety_fan
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15 Nov 2013, 2:57 am

Joe90 wrote:
I never know how to ''love myself'' or even ''believe in myself'', because of having so many bad experiences with people. I can say ''I love myself'' 'til I'm blue in the face but it won't make my feelings change about myself. I just don't know where or how to start to love myself. It sounds so easily said.


definitely easier said then done. Those affirmations don't' always work.

http://wealthy-money.com/positive-affirmations/


suggestions on building self esteem include
take care of your body physically (as in eat healthy diet, do appropriate exercise etc)
do things you like to do
when people give you compliments, accept them. (i find it hard with this point i must say)
Write down your good points and look at the list regularly.
do some volunteer work of some kinds.



auntblabby
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15 Nov 2013, 3:00 am

^^^
good points :)



pensieve
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15 Nov 2013, 6:37 am

Write down your good qualities.

I'm currently going through a depressive episode so this may help me as well.

Example:

I will always go out of my way to make people happy.

I really think deeply about a lot of things. I seem to be surrounded by shallow people so this is a good trait.

I like to keep myself organised and prepared for everything.

I take photos of live bands and some really popular musicians know my name and know me as a photographer.

I'm a great storyteller.

I like to educate people.

I have an awesome cuddly cat.

I don't work so have plenty of spare time.

I dislike gossip.

I'm intelligent.

I love to learn especially about science.

I'm a good loyal friend. I suppose I worked out why people like me.

I'm a great problem solver.

Actually I like what Tweety Fan said. Take care of your health and accept compliments.

Wow. I just got myself out of depression. Go me!


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smudge
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15 Nov 2013, 8:35 am

Auntblabby, that definitely makes sense.

I think...the reason people can find it so hard to love themselves is because they are too modest. It's something to be ashamed of for being bigheaded, apparently. e.g. you wouldn't keep saying to someone how great you looked in your new hairstyle or whatever. Fair enough, though I say it's fine, and completely allowed to say it to *yourself* in your head. So...do it.


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StarCity
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15 Nov 2013, 2:06 pm

This YouTube video may help:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOrzmFUJtrs[/youtube]


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We, the people on the Autistic Spectrum have a choice.
We can either try to "fit in" with the rest of society, or we can be so egocentric that we can't be bothered.
I choose the actor. I observe NT's. I listen to their socializing. I practice it, so in social situations I can just emulate/mimic what is expected.
It isn't natural for me, but it enables me to "fit in".
It is VERY tiring and draining, but at least we can appear like them even though it is an act. Like being on the stage.
They can't see it is emulation, and so we are accepted.


LtlPinkCoupe
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15 Nov 2013, 2:33 pm

I've been told I need to love myself, too - wish I knew how, too.


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Eureka13
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15 Nov 2013, 2:34 pm

I agree that listing the positives about yourself is a great way to build self-esteem (and, therefore, self-love). They don't have to be huge things, either. You don't have to have been to the moon, or cured cancer, or single-handedly rescued someone from drowning.

(I really liked the one I read about having an awesome cat!)

Just for some kind of mental exercise, I've been thinking about what I might say about myself were I to go on a dating site. I think it would be something like this:

"I'm not the kind of woman who turns men's heads walking down the street, but I do believe that most anyone who has ever engaged me in conversation leaves with the feeling they'd like to talk to me again."