loving yourself
I am depressed because I am always alone. I might as well be on an uninhabited island, just me and no one else. I feel like no one cares. Someone told me that I don't love myself, and I got the impression that learning to love myself might help me out. Does anyone know how to do that?
auntblabby
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Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
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Location: the island of defective toy santas
I can only tell you what worked for me. when I was a young man, I had a dream where I rose high above the earth and looked down upon the planet but with terrifically magnified powers of vision, and I saw from the rarified heights innumerable mediocre people bickering and backstabbing each other ad infinitum ad nauseum. after waking i realized at that point that I was all on my own, I was never going to be able to realistically expect decency from such people. therefore the only one who could and would love me unreservedly and unconditionally, would have to be me. so I did whatever I could to make myself easy to love by myself. I ate right and exercised, I read and kept my mind exercised, I strove to nip bad thoughts in the bud before they had the chance to multiply. it is not perfect but it works for me. the key is to do what it takes to love one's reflection in the mirror.
Love is kind of a strong idea of extended passion.
I like to more simply say: Don't hate yourself.
You don't deserve that. I think it can help to have an internal dialogue and literally get to know yourself.
Maybe, to quote The Matrix, it is most important to "Know Thyself".
I think with self knowledge, one would not be inclined to self hate. Maybe, eventually in time, self love or self appreciation, is a natural consequence of Self Knowledge.
I can only tell you what worked for me. when I was a young man, I had a dream where I rose high above the earth and looked down upon the planet but with terrifically magnified powers of vision, and I saw from the rarified heights innumerable mediocre people bickering and backstabbing each other ad infinitum ad nauseum. after waking i realized at that point that I was all on my own, I was never going to be able to realistically expect decency from such people. therefore the only one who could and would love me unreservedly and unconditionally, would have to be me. so I did whatever I could to make myself easy to love by myself. I ate right and exercised, I read and kept my mind exercised, I strove to nip bad thoughts in the bud before they had the chance to multiply. it is not perfect but it works for me. the key is to do what it takes to love one's reflection in the mirror.
I think this is what I need to do also. Sometimes blab, you just astound me with your powers of perception.
auntblabby
Veteran
Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,605
Location: the island of defective toy santas
I can only tell you what worked for me. when I was a young man, I had a dream where I rose high above the earth and looked down upon the planet but with terrifically magnified powers of vision, and I saw from the rarified heights innumerable mediocre people bickering and backstabbing each other ad infinitum ad nauseum. after waking i realized at that point that I was all on my own, I was never going to be able to realistically expect decency from such people. therefore the only one who could and would love me unreservedly and unconditionally, would have to be me. so I did whatever I could to make myself easy to love by myself. I ate right and exercised, I read and kept my mind exercised, I strove to nip bad thoughts in the bud before they had the chance to multiply. it is not perfect but it works for me. the key is to do what it takes to love one's reflection in the mirror.
I think this is what I need to do also. Sometimes blab, you just astound me with your powers of perception.
thank you, my bejeweled opal
I can only tell you what worked for me. when I was a young man, I had a dream where I rose high above the earth and looked down upon the planet but with terrifically magnified powers of vision, and I saw from the rarified heights innumerable mediocre people bickering and backstabbing each other ad infinitum ad nauseum. after waking i realized at that point that I was all on my own, I was never going to be able to realistically expect decency from such people. therefore the only one who could and would love me unreservedly and unconditionally, would have to be me. so I did whatever I could to make myself easy to love by myself. I ate right and exercised, I read and kept my mind exercised, I strove to nip bad thoughts in the bud before they had the chance to multiply. it is not perfect but it works for me. the key is to do what it takes to love one's reflection in the mirror.
I think this is what I need to do also. Sometimes blab, you just astound me with your powers of perception.
thank you, my bejeweled opal
Thankyou. Just come bck from workout. Felling better than I was a couple of hours ago. It's working already!
<--- Maybe he needs to start working out, you know, get his adrenaline flowing again.
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I never know how to ''love myself'' or even ''believe in myself'', because of having so many bad experiences with people. I can say ''I love myself'' 'til I'm blue in the face but it won't make my feelings change about myself. I just don't know where or how to start to love myself. It sounds so easily said.
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I first started learning to love myself by facing myself in the mirror, and pulling funny faces. That helped me not to take myself so seriously. Saying stuff like, "I love myself" doesn't do anything.
If you're a woman especially, even if you're quite practical about clothing, buying something that makes you look good can *really* boost the self-esteem. That's partly why women love shopping, because it not only gives them a high when they buy something, but browsing the shops and imagining how good they could look in an outfit is a great confidence booster. There's nothing to be ashamed of about it. It may appear shallow to some, but so what? You're not hurting anyone. Hell, you can even window shop and do it.
Sod all this stuff about building yourself up from the inside, it can work for the outside too. In fact I think it's far more effective, as it's a very visual thing and putting on a new set of clothes that suit you is an *instant* self-esteem booster.
Another effective way is to learn to appreciate your own company. You can treat *yourself* to fun things that you might normally do with someone else. It doesn't have to cost much.
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auntblabby
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Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,605
Location: the island of defective toy santas
don't say "...myself" but instead say to your reflection in the mirror, "I love YOU!! !"
don't say "...myself" but instead say to your reflection in the mirror, "I love YOU!! !"
That works? I wouldn't know now, 'cos I already love myself.
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