Socializing
I don't know what to consider myself. I was always thought of as quiet and to be honest I prefer myself that way. Lately in college I have been fairly outgoing, loud and hyper with say a group of four people but socializing really drains me. I don't know whether I am over compensating to distract me from thoughts and anxiety or I just feel I have to be that way with people.The hyperspaces could be from over tiredness. But it's gotten to the stage where I am saying things at the wrong time again and also making light of situations that are actually really badly affecting me in front of the whole class as if they weren't there. I just don't like it. Sometimes if I have been like this for a sustained length of time I actually feel like I am drunk, as if my inhibitions are being numbed. I can feel my head spinning. After a while I crash. The more hyper I am, the harder I fall or the longer I need to be on my own. It just doesn't feel right because most of the time I don't want to socialize or I don't find the conversation interesting.
On a separate note the college is trying to figure out how they can help me. They have made concessions for me but I have only received the diagnosis over the summer and I am having a hard time knowing what my difficulties are in relation to aspergers. I have an idea, but to help they need specifics. What is the best way to learn about how exactly effects me without putting symptoms onto myself that aren't there?
I'm not the best a giving advice to other people so I do appreciate any advice given.
Thanks
Last edited by maia on 27 Nov 2013, 6:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
It might help if you put your mind to the subject of specific problems you have encountered or can foresee, and using that to draw up a list of 'ideals' to take into discussion with her. These can then be discussed and the 'possibles' kept in mind. Then it would help if she actually pro-actively did something about them! -- what are you mean to do, administer your own education?
For perspective, I have had similar problems with my university's disability department, and found that drawing up a list stimulated them no end. Having a written 'proposal' means it goes on file and is a registered set of needs from the student.
If you have a personal AS advocate or similar, it might be helpful to take them along to the meeting.
Would that be like my therapist or something like that? I know at the moment their waiting for a grant thing to come through but I have been seeing the college counselor. But she doesn't know much about Aspergers so again I don't really know. The college counselor last year has a daughter with Aspergers so she probably could have really helped me out if she wasn't let go. We can blame the government on that one. I might just go to the disability officer and ask her if she deals with helping people to learn in what ways it presents difficulties.
When I am around people too much I can become over-stimulated in a way that feels like a high. I can get into a semi-euphoric state where most or all of my inhibitions drop and I can behave in ways that are somewhat socially over-the-top. Sometimes this state can be more socially damaging than being a quiet wallflower. It seems others are more willing to tolerate a quiet person than they are a jerk.
I have to monitor myself in social settings to beware of this trap. I dislike having to do that because, gosh darn it, at least initially it can be a fun high. I have to either find a way to quieten myself, or take that as my cue to leave. If I remain too long around people when I am over-stimulated in this way, I risk alienating people, and I risk experiencing a greater emotional crash when the event is over.