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SquidSocks
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04 Dec 2013, 10:17 pm

Do you ever get called clingy by the people closest to you and you are not sure why?
This happens to me quite often, and I am starting to find it rather irritating.
There is absolutely no reason for anyone to be calling me clingy.
I do not like being touched, so I do not cling. I do not control other people. I rarely text back or go to events because I am quite socially awkward.
I never spend time with my friends outside of school.
Why am I called this?
Is anyone else having this issue, or am I alone with this one?
; m ;


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starkid
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04 Dec 2013, 10:28 pm

I wonder if it has to do with the quality of interaction you ask of them, rather than the quantity. I've noticed that some people only enjoy socializing on a very shallow level – joking around, talking about their friends' days at work/school, or doing activities that don't require much brainpower, such as watching sitcoms together. When someone wants more in-depth interaction – talking about feelings and important life experiences, or complex subjects such as politics or religion – such people become uncomfortable, perhaps because that sort of interaction takes up too much of their energy. Perhaps they interpret such de-energizing interaction as clinginess.



SquidSocks
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04 Dec 2013, 10:45 pm

starkid wrote:
I wonder if it has to do with the quality of interaction you ask of them, rather than the quantity. I've noticed that some people only enjoy socializing on a very shallow level – joking around, talking about their friends' days at work/school, or doing activities that don't require much brainpower, such as watching sitcoms together. When someone wants more in-depth interaction – talking about feelings and important life experiences, or complex subjects such as politics or religion – such people become uncomfortable, perhaps because that sort of interaction takes up too much of their energy. Perhaps they interpret such de-energizing interaction as clinginess.


Oh my goodness...
You have totally opened my eyes.

I never thought of that.
Thank you ever so much!
c:


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em_tsuj
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04 Dec 2013, 11:15 pm

My post is not a reflection on you, the original poster. I don't know if you are clingy or not. I'm just going to talk about me.

I am clingy. I have always been clingy. I just realized how annoying that is very recently. Because I am not a people person, I try to limit my interaction to as few people as possible. Then I expect one or two people to meet all of my needs (emotional support, entertainment, attention, affection, etc.). Usually people back away from me after a while because they are exhausted. They stop answering the phone.

Now that I realize what I am doing, I try to take responsibility for my own emotions, instead of processing everything by talking with someone else. That way the my friends don't get tired of hearing my negative stuff. I also am trying to take responsibility for my entertainment, finding something to do with my free time instead of trying to make friends spend time with me.

I am an intense person. I am brutally honest and I expect others to be as well. I am self-aware. I am well-read and I process things on a deep level. Also, I do not try to hide my feelings for other people. If I love you, I love you. If I don't like you, leave me the f___ alone! I think this is intimidating. I can't help it though. I don't have small talk to talk about because I am not into pop culture. Different things get me excited than the things that get normal people excited. Also, I like to let people know how important they are to me. I think I need to find a woman who is a sucker for romance, because I love that stuff.



SquidSocks
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04 Dec 2013, 11:39 pm

em_tsuj wrote:
My post is not a reflection on you, the original poster. I don't know if you are clingy or not. I'm just going to talk about me.

I am clingy. I have always been clingy. I just realized how annoying that is very recently. Because I am not a people person, I try to limit my interaction to as few people as possible. Then I expect one or two people to meet all of my needs (emotional support, entertainment, attention, affection, etc.). Usually people back away from me after a while because they are exhausted. They stop answering the phone.

Now that I realize what I am doing, I try to take responsibility for my own emotions, instead of processing everything by talking with someone else. That way the my friends don't get tired of hearing my negative stuff. I also am trying to take responsibility for my entertainment, finding something to do with my free time instead of trying to make friends spend time with me.

I am an intense person. I am brutally honest and I expect others to be as well. I am self-aware. I am well-read and I process things on a deep level. Also, I do not try to hide my feelings for other people. If I love you, I love you. If I don't like you, leave me the f___ alone! I think this is intimidating. I can't help it though. I don't have small talk to talk about because I am not into pop culture. Different things get me excited than the things that get normal people excited. Also, I like to let people know how important they are to me. I think I need to find a woman who is a sucker for romance, because I love that stuff.

We sound a lot alike :tongue:
Good for you to be working on yourself though.
Quite a bit of people are too lazy to improve themselves.
Props c:


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vickygleitz
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06 Dec 2013, 3:19 am

I'm clingy. I have to work hard not to let it show. i would go so far as to say that at one point in my life I was definitely a stalker.[way before it was illegal] Luckily the man I am married to is also clingy. I think that in some ways our mutual clinginess works to both of our advantage,



Jensen
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06 Dec 2013, 5:06 am

I´ve been clingy too in my younger days, and I couldn´t figure out how to become "cool" like anyone else.
I learned to let go of my clingyness through some very demanding Body-Mind courses.
It was about letting go of my fear of being left alone, which I had been, mentally, because of my "position" in the family.


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10 Dec 2013, 2:51 am

I'm not clingy but I think that other people can detect that I'm weak and they often negatively react in a really cold way. That's the impression I've got lately. It's like they give me one minute to justify how interesting I am and then automatically make that judgement and that's that.



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12 Jan 2014, 9:02 pm

SquidSocks wrote:
Do you ever get called clingy by the people closest to you and you are not sure why?
This happens to me quite often, and I am starting to find it rather irritating.
There is absolutely no reason for anyone to be calling me clingy.
I do not like being touched, so I do not cling. I do not control other people. I rarely text back or go to events because I am quite socially awkward.
I never spend time with my friends outside of school.
Why am I called this?
Is anyone else having this issue, or am I alone with this one?
; m ;


You're not alone. After dating a girl for a year, I got pretty clingy after we broke up. Despite of her begging me to go on social events, I refused. I kinda regret that now. :cry: I also don't see my friends outside of school and video games, so...


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12 Jan 2014, 9:13 pm

Clingy to me is just a person that gives you too much attention. I get it a lot from aspies on Facebook. People don't need to or even want to talk to every time you go online. It's overwhelming.

I never considered the quality of how you talk. I wish I could say as much as I'd like to but then again I know people would feel uncomfortable by that. I'm not sure if I'd call that clingy though.

Think of the two dogs on Warner Bros cartoons. One is a big silent tough looking Bulldog and the other is a tiny jump annoying little terrier who just doesn't stop talking to the big dog. That's clingy to me. We used to know these people as leeches.

I think the people that called you clingy might have been misinterpreting the word too.


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