Aspie-Aspie Couple

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I am an NT married to an Aspie. I think it could work either way. I love our relationship and it has been better than any NT/NT relationship that I have been in.

I'm starting to wonder if only another aspie would be able to deal with me. I'm not sure NTs would tend to give me enough time to resolve how I feel about things before getting bored and moving on (this happened to me recently). Even more-so when it comes to physical contact; I am totally boggled by how fast some people progress to sex when it seems like they don't know each other very well yet.

I'm an Aspie & my girlfriend is on the spectrum & we moved in a little over a year ago & are doing pretty good together because our personalities & needs within a relationship are pretty similar. However my 2nd girlfriend was an Aspie & we didn't work out because our personalities & needs were very kind of opposite. I met them both on this site BTW. I never had much luck with typical NTs because we were too different so I think Aspie/Aspie couples can do well if they have similar personalities & relationship needs

nick007 do you watch American dad?

I'm male, straight and would love to be in an AS/AS relationship; I'm not on the market right now for various reasons, but that will change over the next few months. I do know one interesting couple though.

Some time ago I tried (and failed) to date a woman who is as near a "clone" of me, "twin flame", call it what you like, as I have ever met and far more so than even the dozens of people I know in the Autism community. I had been looking for somebody like that for years, since before I had a name for what I was; I thought I was unique. I wasn't sure that such a person even existed until she showed up. I wonder how many others like us there are?

Anyway, she's definitely Aspie; there are various reasons for this, mostly because she sounds like a 35 year old me when she drops the pretence. Her boyfriend is clearly on the spectrum somewhere; she seems to have been coaching him in sociability skills over the last year or so.

Additionally, she's my age (mid/late 40s) and he's 20 years or so younger than her; they haven't publicly come out about being a couple and in fact went out of their way to pretend they were "just friends" at first; however, people are starting to suspect.

Neither has come out about being Aspie. She, in particular, really does NOT want anybody to know she is Aspie; she has done very well in her career and much of her life and can hide the AS quite well, seeming merely to be very eccentric. Given how she sounds in "Asperger Mode", it must for him be like having two girlfriends in one As for his A/S, or whatever it is, with him, it's a bit more obvious.

They are both very nice people, but noticeably a bit odd - goes with the territory, I guess

Not sure. Probably like any relationship it could be very bad or amazingly well.

My first time on this forum to share with the community how wonderful it is to have an aspie-aspie relationship. Similar to most male aspies', I went through a series of failed relationships with NT women (over 100 encounters--so I had an excellent statistic sampling). When I finally fell in love with an aspie female, the feeling was indescribable.

Imagine never having to explain over and over why you think the way you do; being perfectly in tune with this person; the qualities that your NT partners found frustrating and forcing them to compromise are now not only accepted, but loved by your partner; the freedom to think and feel however you want; etc. I never thought that I would meet, much less fall in love with, a female aspie (it only took 40 years).

Our relationship developed extremely fast since once we figured out we were both aspie's, we didn't bother with the societal mating dance and relationship evolution.

It definitely helps that out that our fixations have a strong overlap (that is how we met since we both shared a common passion--cycling). We met on the internet where aspies can feel comfortable without all that awkward socializing.

I hope this helps the male aspies who are looking for the aspie females....they do exist and when you are lucky enough to find one, your life will change.

I was discussing this with a friend the other day. I have never met a woman who I know had Asperger's. I think it would be interesting to see what one is like. I am happily married to an NT so am not looking for any Aspie girlfriends, but it would have been really interesting to see what a relationship would have been like with one. It was rather tough to navigate the NT world for much of my life. I didn't learn that I have Asperger's until last year, so I spent 47 years never knowing why I was different and didn't fit in all that well with people. I have actually only met one other person who was diagnosed with Asperger's and he moved away shortly after I as diagnosed with it. I wish I would have had more time to talk with him about it.