Aspie-Aspie Couple

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Is anyone in or know of a Couple were both of them have aspergers?
and do you think aspie couples work out ok?

I actually came to this community after reading Asperger Love, a nonfiction book about an aspie couple.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00BSEH9GA

I think the original article is linked somewhere here, or you can just google it.

Apparently the couple isn't still together, but I still found the book to be really touching and encouraging. It showed me that there are people out there who think like I do, and that I could maybe someday meet someone who doesn't always make me feel like a weirdo or outsider.

Granted I've had romantic relationships with non-aspie people, and I could put up with feeling weird if I was really in love, but I can't help but how nice it'd be to meet a girl who understands where I'm coming from more than an NT could.

Jack Robison and Kirsten Lindsmith have been the subject of articles and videos here on WP, although I don't know if they're still co-habitating.

cohabitation is a weird word. It makes me imagine them sharing a terrarium!

An AS/AS relationship can work really well. It is great to have someone else like you; unlike NTs you feel like you can actually understand each other. Weird habits don't need any explaining and you tend to feel much less like a 'lone soldier'.

Obviously the couple will need more than a common neurological diagnosis to be successful, but I really believe that when done well an AS/AS relationship is more rewarding than an AS/NT relationship.

The biggest problem is communication. Aspies tend to be slightly worse than NTs are communicating feelings, so any AS/AS couple needs to take this into consideration and make sure they are communicating properly. The easiest way for an Aspie relationship to go wrong is if one partner has a problem but can't communicate it to the other.

We're an Aspie couple: celebrated our 31st wedding anniversary last Wednesday! It has worked for us!

Congratulations! How do you do it? Are you a male-female couple, and if so, does a lot of the burden of trying to make communication happen fall on the female partner?

It really depends.

Aspie+Aspie? It could be the same as NT+NT.

It depends on situations.

Just because someone has aspergers doesn't mean they are going to have some magical relationship with someone else with aspergers.

Some aspies will sell out and try to appeal to non-aspies to the point of ridiculing and humiliating someone else with aspergers thinking it will earn them some favorable light in the eyes of NT's. If that is the case, aspie+aspie will not work because one aspie is still trying too hard to fit in and pretend all the time.

It depends on quirks. One person may be a very clean person and organized, the other not so much. Put the two together and it can compliment but it could also repel.

One person may insist nobody touches their objects while the other gets annoyed at seeing the object and wants to organize. That may cause some turmoil.

Nobody is perfect. Our personalities, way of life, thinking clash and is never on par with anyone else. People are always going to disappoint you and say things you may get hurt by. In the end, what it boils down to is, do you love the person enough to be strong and survive? Is the person worth adjusting for? Person worth fighting for? Then you're in love.

IF you are very stubborn to the point where you know that you love someone but you have these inner demands that the person is supposed to be doing all the work and all the fighting for you, that isn't love. You let the person go and don't bother talking to them because they are the ones supposed to be chasing you, that isn't love. That's just someone who thinks the world revolves around themselves.

I can get along with aspies as long as I don't get all excited and hold them on some pedestal as though my encounters are suddenly going to be blissful because we are more alike than the NT standing over there. Nope, people are still people. I can get along with a NT as long as they don't view of me as some lowly slave on the lower end of their pecking disorder. They end up getting upset with me because in their minds they have already placed me on some rinky dink stool designed to be knocked down easily so they can have a good laugh because I do bite back.

I am in one, and it's so worth it. I think it works out but only if both people are willing to work at it. I prefer being with an aspie than being with a neurotypical

^grats!

Me and my husband. we've been together for 6 years this year.
We're quite different but we complement each other very well.



This is very true.
In our case, our personalities are quite different, but we complement each other very well. He's a particularly withdrawn introvert, but I'm an extrovert who often initiates communication. I'm not very good at reading faces either, but we spend a lot of time together so I had enough time to figure him out. Whenever I notice that something troubles him, I ask him what's wrong, and I push him until he reveals what the real problem is. It's not easy because he's alexithymic too, so he finds it very hard to talk about anything that affects him emotionally. Initally, these conversations went like the game "Twenty Questions": I had a guess, and he either nodded or shook his head -- but he got better afterwards.

It is also important to have shared interests, similar priorities in life and a similar level of intelligence.
As for interest, you don't have to have exactly the same areas of interest, but it's important to have a few shared interests and you should also be able to enjoy and respect the other one's achievements on their areas of interest.
As for priorities, it is important to have a shared system of values. If one of you is a non-conformist who doesn't care about money or about fitting in, and the other one wants to lead a conventional suburban life, it won't work out very well. Me and my husband are both non-conformists who reject the typical NT values (material success, popularity etc.).
As for intelligence, it's also pretty important that you should be in the same range. I think intelligence is a factor which hugely determines your system of values and approach to the world, almost as much as AS.

I didn't mesh well with someone over him trying so hard to fit in amongst his peers that when they determined the way to go about that would be by bashing me and belittling me all the time that he seemed to care more about being thought of as cool by them. My thoughts and feelings didn't matter and he wouldn't defend me leaving me to defend myself. Aspie conformists are just as bad as NT and sometimes even worse. They secretly identify with you but have to fit in so they won't be the one targeted.

Hi! I can only tell you from my dating experiences that I wouldn't date anyone but a fellow Aspie! My current boyfriend and I are going on 4 1/2 years of being together! He is a very kind, thoughtful and overall amazing guy! I love him with all of my heart and wouldn't trade him for all the NTs in the world!

There are so few female Aspies in the general population that Aspie couples must be a rarity.

I know of some that have split up, but of even more that are together in long term loving relationships. It can and does work for those it's meant to work out for.

I would love to develop a relationship with a fellow Aspie. I think it would be fantastic,