Christmas day worries: Sensory overstimulation

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pensieve
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23 Dec 2013, 12:55 am

The last couple of times I've been social (around 3-4 people) I've had such sensory overstimulation or anxiety/ restless mania (which feels pretty much like the former) that I've basically wanted to jump out of windows. I've kept it to myself because I find it hard to bring this up with people, but I feel like I'm going to break soon.

At the last family get together I basically jumped at my chance to get out of the house and buy cleaning supplies and went to the store the furthest away. It helped me my sensory issues and I was able to return to the group and have less issues.

I have a big extended family and the one I spend time with the most act as though I don't have autism. They have no concept of what sensory over stimulation is except if they were hungover. So, I'm really not sure what to do. If they try to say I have a headache or migraine it might make me angry.

I have younger nieces and nephews and the two oldest aren't even told about autism. I think they can handle it and probably know kids at school with it.

The best thing I can really do is just stop hiding the fact that I have such severe sensory issues that I will avoid being with a group of 3-4 people, and so they can see what this invisible electric storm happening in my head is really doing to me.

It's so much easier when people just read what I write about these issues and file it away for the next time this happens to me. But my sister tells me she ignores everything I write.


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Drehmaschine
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23 Dec 2013, 1:04 am

I want to spend this holiday in the relative quietness of my turnery, surrounded by the comforts of my machines. Not chaotic humans.



vickygleitz
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23 Dec 2013, 2:15 am

Christmas is important to my five kids, their spouses, and my 6 grandkids. I have sensory issues and the chemo makes me super tired all of the time. Still, I manage to put together an awesome Christmas, relatively stress free, that lOOKS as though it was put together quickly with little effort. But actually, ussually....

I have baked and frozen most of my Christmas cookies and bought and wrapped gifts before Thanksgiving. Also before Thanksgiving I have filled the pull ribbon pinata.

Made pies and gravy a week before Christmas.

Made individual gingerbread houses for the grandkids to decorate on Christmas a week before Christmas.

Now that we live in a little travel trailer we have Christmas at one of the kids homes so I do not have to worry about decorating.

Food is another matter. I make almost all of the food.My husband is in charge of transporting.

Two days before Christmas I butterfly my turkey [cooks fast and super moist that way] pre-cook prime rib [just needs to be heated up] make the green bean casserole, mashed potato casserole, sweet potato casserole, stuffing and indonesian tofu stew [ they all just need to be heated up, and boil and shell eggs. THEN I label levery thing, complete with reheating instructions. That way if I get overwhelmed everyone just needs to look at the label and know what to do,

On Christmas day after we open gifts the kids decorate their gingerbread houses while I either lay down or piddle in the kitchen. I ussualy lay down during the pinata, and while the little ones are playing with their new toys I go into the basement and belly dance to relax. Then I finish up making dinner knowing that if I can't handle being around that there are specific directions that will get everything on the table at once.

We do not use fancy serving dishes but disposable ones from the dollar store. I buy "high end" paper products so mess is minimal. By that time I am ussually pretty worn out , but that's why God made hot cocoa with peppermint schnapps and blessed me with kids who insist on cleaning up after dinner [ I do not even pretend to put up a fight]

My grandkids have known from an early age that when granny needs rest she needs rest NOW. Because of this the little ones are very aware when they need to take a little break and will take alone time without being asked. This prevents so much fussiness. Yeah, they still laugh and squeal and all that, but those have always been sounds that fill me with joy,

After games and leftovers we go home. I enjoy Christmas but only because I break up all the tasks more than a month in advance.



pensieve
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23 Dec 2013, 4:44 am

There's a huge difference between being 58 and 27. More expectation is put on you to be social.

I'm not making any food, thank God.

Squealing children doesn't fill me with joy but dread. I usually enjoy being around the kids more than the adults though. I'm the fun auntie until all my brain problems start happening.


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AspieTurtle
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23 Dec 2013, 6:26 am

I like Christmas day ONLY because the day after is when I can take down the decorations my mate put up so my living space will be back to normal.
:shrug:
I do not like changes... I wish I could be happy for my mate to enjoy the season, but the green tree with all that stuff on it is NOT supposed to be there.


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CosmicRuss
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23 Dec 2013, 8:41 am

I was a smoker, so it was easy to take short breaks outside alone when required during the day. Now, as an ex-smoker, I just say I'm going out for some fresh air - no one is bothered.

I also have a cat at my home, so if I am at a relative's home for Christmas Day I leave after the meal for about an hour or so and go home to my cat to feed him etc. Then return after the much needed quiet time feeling refreshed.

If you don't have an animal to care for buy a goldfish or something tomorrow. :lol:


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BobinPgh
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23 Dec 2013, 9:51 pm

Christmas get together was not long this year, but still had to stay away from Dr. gross and loud brother in law. And he was coughing and shouting and smelling all the time. So glad its over.



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23 Dec 2013, 10:17 pm

Yum Yum Yum

My parents are picking up my aunt and uncle from two hours away tomorrow, so I am responsible for starting the turkey!


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LtlPinkCoupe
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23 Dec 2013, 11:56 pm

It helps me when I can retreat to my room even for just ten minutes of quiet. I usually come out feeling refreshed. If I'm allowed to nap for just half an hour, that's awesome, too. And of course, wearing something that allows me to discreetly carry Dory (my favorite plushie) from room to room helps a lot, too. I like to wear this hoodie that I place her in the front pocket of. The hoodie is a comfort item in and of itself, since my favorite aunt gave it to me. :)

And, I'm sorry about your sister telling you that she ignores everything you write, pensieve....that was a very insensitive thing for her to say. :(


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Last edited by LtlPinkCoupe on 24 Dec 2013, 12:45 am, edited 1 time in total.

pensieve
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24 Dec 2013, 12:24 am

Besides Cosmic Russ a lot of these replies have been very self-focused. I know this is an autism forum but of all my years being here people don't usually just start talking about themselves unless asked to.

I won't be at my house for Christmas lunch. I think it's a 2-3 hour car drive away. I'm actually worried about leaving my cat. The dog might not be invited because someone has a phobia of dogs and it's her house. I still like her though, she's great. A lot of the other adults say things behind her back which is why I don't want to hang out with them.

I just wish certain people wouldn't put too many demands on me. I'm already opting out of cooking anything. But I no longer want to hide my sensory distress because it's getting too painful. One thing I hate hearing is that these people say what I'm going through is normal and that everyone goes through it. It seems to be part of the denial package this person has about their own mental illness but I can't help but get angry over it.

The worst part is the anxiety I feel over what could happen. There's no enjoying Christmas for me.


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btbnnyr
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24 Dec 2013, 12:50 am

Ooops, I was confused about the meaning of this thread earlier, I thought it was about christmas food for some reason, brain fart.

For christmas overstimulation, I spend a lot of time in my room, while my family is cooking, then I come down to eat the food and play games on my ipad, this year my iphone.


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pensieve
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24 Dec 2013, 3:26 am

Yeah, I was a little bit angry before but my mood is better now.

I'll be too far away from my room on the day. Well, Christmas for me and my family is on Boxing Day.

I can't really cancel my plans because I did go to a lot of effort to buy and wrap and decorate Christmas presents for my niece and nephews. It's the only part of Christmas I like. The food is pretty good too.


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Marky9
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24 Dec 2013, 1:06 pm

I can do ok at family holiday gatherings if I limit my visit to about two hours, and can go outside for some peace and quiet as needed.


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LtlPinkCoupe
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24 Dec 2013, 1:08 pm

pensieve wrote:
Yeah, I was a little bit angry before but my mood is better now.

I'll be too far away from my room on the day. Well, Christmas for me and my family is on Boxing Day.

I can't really cancel my plans because I did go to a lot of effort to buy and wrap and decorate Christmas presents for my niece and nephews. It's the only part of Christmas I like. The food is pretty good too.


Ah, I see. If you were going to be closer to your room, I was going to suggest it might help to try to "get away" from all the action for maybe a few minutes at a time...just short breaks, like I mentioned in my other post. Sometimes if there's a lot of people around, no one usually notices if another person is absent for short periods of time. Although if there's guest bedrooms you can "escape" to, those could work, too.

Will a favorite relative be there that you can talk to? Like, someone you can just talk about stuff with, just the two of you, in a semi-quiet and private setting? Maybe someone you can talk about special interests with? :)

That's also nice that you have presents for your nieces and nephews. :D

Sorry if none of this is helpful. :oops:


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ZombieBrideXD
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24 Dec 2013, 1:11 pm

oh, i know that feeling, i shut down twice last night and had a melt down twice at a christmas party, too much going on but i did get some presents and lots of food, plus, i got to see my cousins and actually hung out with them, which i always wanted to do since i was very young, but it was ruined when my aunts boyfriend started taunting me, i dont think im going out anymore for a while though.


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