Question: If the woman asks out the guy.

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Hmm?
I am a woman and I think the woman should pay. 24%  24%  [ 12 ]
I am a man and I think the woman should pay. 6%  6%  [ 3 ]
I am a woman and I think the man should pay. 8%  8%  [ 4 ]
I am a man and I think the man should pay. 6%  6%  [ 3 ]
I am a woman and I think it should be half-half. 18%  18%  [ 9 ]
I am a man and I think it should be half-half. 37%  37%  [ 18 ]
Total votes : 49

The_Face_of_Boo
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27 Dec 2013, 6:29 pm

Then who should pay the dinner bill in that case?



hurtloam
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27 Dec 2013, 6:39 pm

I would expect each person to pay for what they ordered. I don't think it's fair in these difficult financial times for one person to have to pay for what the other person eats/drinks. I'm the kind of person who when going out for a meal with a group of friends thinks that we should all pay for what we ordered individually rather than dividing the bill. I don't earn much and neither do most of my friends. I have a hard enough time budgeting without having to pay part of someone else's meal. I'm not usually the person who suggests we pay for what we ordered, it is normally a unanimous decision. I don't see why dating should be any different. But how would I know, I've never been on a dinner date.



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27 Dec 2013, 6:43 pm

I voted "I'm a woman and each should pay half", but what I think is better expressed by Hurtloam's post.
I'd think the same if it was the man doing the asking out.


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leafplant
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27 Dec 2013, 6:49 pm

If I ask you out I expect (and will insist) on paying. I would be offended if someone wouldn't let me pay and constantly have arguments with my friends about this. Second date would be ok for going dutch though.



The_Face_of_Boo
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27 Dec 2013, 7:04 pm

leafplant wrote:
If I ask you out I expect (and will insist) on paying. I would be offended if someone wouldn't let me pay and constantly have arguments with my friends about this. Second date would be ok for going dutch though.


What do your friends say?



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27 Dec 2013, 7:11 pm

I follow the rule of thumb that whoever does the asking, does the paying. That's for the early stages of dating.

Once in a relationship and I know her financial situation and if it's worse than mine, then I will buy more often than not.

If mine is worse than hers and I'm low on funds, then I just don't ask her out much to things that require a lot of money.



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27 Dec 2013, 7:53 pm

My preferred option is not there: Each pay for what you order.

Edit: I see hurtloam already covered that. So...what she said :)



leafplant
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27 Dec 2013, 8:23 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
leafplant wrote:
If I ask you out I expect (and will insist) on paying. I would be offended if someone wouldn't let me pay and constantly have arguments with my friends about this. Second date would be ok for going dutch though.


What do your friends say?


If I invite them out they insist on paying for half or their order. I am not well off and they are being kind, but to my mind, whoever makes the invitation should pay unless there is an understanding that it is going to be half and half which would be an awkward thing to discuss on a first date anyway. I think if I was to ask a guy out I'd probably just ask him to a coffee anyway so it wouldn't be that expensive. I find eating in company really stressful so it wouldn't be my choice of date to go for a dinner anyway. To be fair, I am very weird in lots of ways :shrug:



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27 Dec 2013, 8:28 pm

I was asked out by a woman,and I paid for her lunch,
but she paid me back,voluntarily.



MadeUnderground
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27 Dec 2013, 8:30 pm

leafplant wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
leafplant wrote:
If I ask you out I expect (and will insist) on paying. I would be offended if someone wouldn't let me pay and constantly have arguments with my friends about this. Second date would be ok for going dutch though.


What do your friends say?


If I invite them out they insist on paying for half or their order. I am not well off and they are being kind, but to my mind, whoever makes the invitation should pay unless there is an understanding that it is going to be half and half which would be an awkward thing to discuss on a first date anyway. I think if I was to ask a guy out I'd probably just ask him to a coffee anyway so it wouldn't be that expensive. I find eating in company really stressful so it wouldn't be my choice of date to go for a dinner anyway. To be fair, I am very weird in lots of ways :shrug:


I completely agree with leafplant and that's how I handle things. If I'm with friends and they insist on paying for their whatever (meal, coffee, etc), then that's fine. But usually with friends, we discuss payment beforehand anyway.
With dates it's different, but if I asked a woman out, I already know in my head that I'm going to pay for it.
If a woman asks me out, I EXPECT her to pay but if she doesn't then I am always sure to bring my own money to pay for myself.

I've had women pay for me a few times after they had invited me to go somewhere, but most of the time I wind up paying for myself.
However, if I invite that same woman somewhere I pay for her.



hale_bopp
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27 Dec 2013, 10:53 pm

Asker pays. *rattles purse*



The_Face_of_Boo
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28 Dec 2013, 5:23 pm

Interesting , only few men voted that the woman should pay, less than those who think it should be half.

Men are so conditionally raised to pay even they are invited? :roll:



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28 Dec 2013, 5:32 pm

If I asked someone out then I would be prepared to pay.


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goldfish21
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28 Dec 2013, 7:21 pm

I would expect whoever did the inviting to pay.

This topic does have me smiling for other reasons, though. I am a man (a gay one) & my crush (also a gay man lol) happens to be of Dutch decent. If I ask him out sometime and he agrees, does the man pay? which one? :P and since he's Dutch, would we always go Dutch?? :P heh, just having fun with this. :) If I ask him out and he agrees, I fully expect to pay & would happily do so. 8)


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Marcia
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28 Dec 2013, 7:35 pm

When I ask someone out, then I pay. Same when I meet up with a friend for coffee or a meal - usually then we would take turn about at paying, rather than splitting the bill.



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28 Dec 2013, 11:09 pm

hurtloam wrote:
I would expect each person to pay for what they ordered. I don't think it's fair in these difficult financial times for one person to have to pay for what the other person eats/drinks. I'm the kind of person who when going out for a meal with a group of friends thinks that we should all pay for what we ordered individually rather than dividing the bill. I don't earn much and neither do most of my friends. I have a hard enough time budgeting without having to pay part of someone else's meal. I'm not usually the person who suggests we pay for what we ordered, it is normally a unanimous decision. I don't see why dating should be any different. But how would I know, I've never been on a dinner date.


Yeah, I agree. I realize some might do it as a kindness, but it would feel strange to have an extra $10-20 spent on a stranger's company unless they were so rich they wiped their butt with 20's. They'd be paying to talk with me for a few hours while I feel out what kind of person they are and whether or not I want to be in their life as a love interest or at all. That's a really uncomfortable dynamic to me.

I can see finding ways to treat each other as part of actual courtship, but a first or second date doesn't necessarily mean anything...