head hitting
I really wish I knew why I feel the need to hit myself or destroy things when I melt down, I feel like the Hulk and I don't like doing it, I much prefer being in control of my actions.
Ditto to that. Except I am stuck in therapy which seems to be inducing the damned episodes as they like you to challenge these things. And I had a lovely system of avoidance set up too in terms of staying away from things that caused me that much upset/over stimulation.
I don't think I could handle that kind of therapy, I understand that the more I'm exposed to situations that are overwhelming I can deal with them slightly better each time but there's always some point that I need to back out or it gets ugly.
EmeraldGreen
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I never understood this, but since you describe it this way, I think I relate. Does this feel like an irresistible self-deprecating outburst? Thankfully, for me, I do not have an urge to physically self-injure or hit my head but internally I have outbursts of emotion that cause me to scold the hell out of myself all day long. Is that part of it? When I'm really, really stressed I will verbally blurt out the dialogues that I'm hearing in my head, but usually I only allow myself to do this when I'm alone. I have a lot of NT skills at my command AND I'm good at hiding traits like this! I have other self-destructive behaviors, though that are harder to control - so I can still relate to this.
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Last edited by EmeraldGreen on 23 Jan 2014, 10:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Yes.I have hot my head with my fists,banged it on the floor,against the wall,and on one extreme time I picked up a piece of wood and hit myself in the head.Its is a trapped feeling,lots of pressure and it has to go somewhere.It rarely happens now,but it could if I was extremely over stressed.
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LtlPinkCoupe
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This
That's how I used to do it, too.
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This
That's how I used to do it, too.
I have tried to start learning this habit, I have actually broken my right hand and am now having trouble with it
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ah hell, is this another common thing?
yes, when I'm very upset I have an irresistible urge to slam my head on the wall, but immediately regret it after as I'm very paranoid about concussions.
I always assumed this was more related to my SI problems though? then again, the head slamming is instant impulse, whereas my other habits are things that I can see coming for moments or hours before. thoughts from anyone?
also, generally speaking, hitting myself on the body has always been the most effective way for me to sedate myself when i'm losing it. that's actually how my SI started.
seriously, I need to be evaluated, because if I do have ASD it explains so much of my life.
My husband did with his hands, and on things like a table/wall, full force.
He stop doing it when I am in the home, because I just can't see someone with a bloody and bruised head. I can't stomach the sounds of punches, slaps, sound of head hitting a hard object and the screams.
He stopped when I said I was leaving with our daughter.
I don't know how he stopped or what stim took it's place.
My husband's family was perfectly fine with him doing it. They'd find him unconscious with a bloody head on the flood. They thought he was being a drama queen, and figured he'd stop if it hurt enough. So for 20 odd years, they let him pound his head on the wall to his heart's content.
He actually thought it was a good coping skill and release. (????)
I know people on the spectrum do it.
I don't hit my head repeatedly, but I'll hit my head once, and if it doesn't feel powerful enough, I might hit another couple of times until I felt it was hard enough.
Sometimes I do it on a wall, sometimes I get heavy hardback books, for example my complete collection of Sherlock Holmes, and I whack my forehead on that. I don't knock myself out, I just get annoyed and need to hit my head for some reason.
I try not to do that now. I think I damaged enough brain cells.
yes, when I'm very upset I have an irresistible urge to slam my head on the wall, but immediately regret it after as I'm very paranoid about concussions.
I always assumed this was more related to my SI problems though? then again, the head slamming is instant impulse, whereas my other habits are things that I can see coming for moments or hours before. thoughts from anyone?
also, generally speaking, hitting myself on the body has always been the most effective way for me to sedate myself when i'm losing it. that's actually how my SI started.
seriously, I need to be evaluated, because if I do have ASD it explains so much of my life.
Yes, I have read that this is a common part of what they call an 'autistic meltdown', if you want to google it.
I too have/had self injury problems - cutting. I have only recently discovered what ASD is, therefore for years the only explanation for my head banging I had was that it was merely another form of self injury behaviour. The professionals have always said they have no idea what the head banging is due to. But like you, I have always seen a difference between the two. '
Curiously, this also exactly applies to me:
However, because the cutting was getting pretty horrific, I am glad to say that I have finally managed to stop doing that (I still struggle not to): the result of me stopping was an increase in my head banging/hitting once again, but I am slowly learning to control it better via spotting warning signs that I am about to lose control, and running to lock myself away from people to hit my face hard and cry and scream until I feel safe, in order to prevent me going into a full blown state of banging my head uncontrollably on the wall. Or if I'm out and about with my boyfriend and he senses it building in me, he calmly takes me away from the crowds to somewhere quiet so that I can let it out with less humiliation and less public chaos.