So I took your advice.... Interesting results.

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buffinator
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22 Jan 2014, 8:04 pm

So, I've been back in college for 2 days. I made note of someone attractive to me in each class and resolved to get that person's number. In my first two classes that didn't happen... and I may have been inadvertently creepy.

I ended up talking to two people. This first was a bit older than me and after talking / eating lunch in the cafeteria for a 10 or so minutes she informed me she had a boyfriend. meh.

The second I think I successfully pretended to be more socially adept for. We were both a little late getting out of class so after the class I decided to talk to her. We talked for about 30 min while she waited for her ride. She is pretty but....
1) Not an intellectual/political at all... which might get boring.

2) Is Muslim /w Muslim parents and I'm one of them dirty Jews.

3) Is Iraqi... (oh god... Are those NSA drones flying overhead???)

4)keeps halal, which will make dating a real pain in the ass.

My school may be a problem. A few years ago I was walking with a conservative Muslim friend of mine from high-school and we got cornered by three criminal justice major's who called us terrorists and threatened to kill us. The girl I'm talking to now doesn't wear the outerwear and so it might not be as much of an issue... but If she has a value system similar to my friend from high-school I don't want to touch her with a 10 foot pole. My friend from high-school was convinced she was going to marry and start spitting out kids... and she was not going to work... ever... I have no intention of trying to raise a family on one income... especially the meager income I am wont to attract.

Also... she introduced me to her mom... we haven't even been on the first date yet (unless the after class thing counts).

I have her number, I'm not sure if I should text her or not or wait to see her next week.


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Deuterium
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22 Jan 2014, 9:31 pm

You sound pretty put-off by her lifestyle; there is nothing inherently wrong with that, but you might want to just keep it as friends if you are already feeling hesitant and seeing some major incompatibilities.



buffinator
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22 Jan 2014, 9:42 pm

Deuterium wrote:
You sound pretty put-off by her lifestyle; there is nothing inherently wrong with that, but you might want to just keep it as friends if you are already feeling hesitant and seeing some major incompatibilities.


Yeah but that is what I always do whenever I meet someone who seems interested in me.


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Fogpatrol
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22 Jan 2014, 9:47 pm

Stop over analysing and text her back. I know its easier said than done but it's the way to go. She might have other friends who knows.



buffinator
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22 Jan 2014, 9:50 pm

Fogpatrol wrote:
Stop over analysing and text her back. I know its easier said than done but it's the way to go. She might have other friends who knows.


I really have no idea how. They best I can come up with is "hey cutie" or a more ribald variant. I don't know if that is appropriate.


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Fogpatrol
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22 Jan 2014, 10:10 pm

Doesnt have to be flirty. Just ask her how's she's doing and what is she up to. Then say whatever come up in your mind. If she likes you she will keep on chatting along even if she's busy.



thewhitrbbit
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22 Jan 2014, 10:21 pm

Just talk to her, you can flirt by complimenting just as easily as you can with "hey cutie" or "hey baby, wanna f**k?"

About her.

If you find her attractive, go for it. Halal can be a problem, but it's my experience people who keep halal or kosher are good at balancing it. You may have to make some sacrifices but you may get something out of it.

You'll never know till you try.



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24 Jan 2014, 5:53 pm

Haha, dirty jew.

Well... at least you have someone you can talk to. That counts for something, some women value you based on how many friends you have. So... keep adding them.



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24 Jan 2014, 6:39 pm

Bad idea, especially between jews and muslims.


Off-top side question: Since your Torah tells you that you have to take the Land of Canaan (Palestine) by force and drive out all Canaanites from there, and since the Jews (and evangelists) today justify taking Palestine because their "ancestors" were there before them (only half of the ancestors of Israelis today , the Jew Arabs, because studies show that Ashkenazi Jews are originally Europeans, not Middle Easterns). Based on that logic and based on the Torah , not the Quran, aren't the descendants of the Canaanites (Lebanese, Syrians, Palestinians) have the right to retake their land? The Jews have invaded this land twice, first time with Joshua , and the second time with the Zionist movement.



buffinator
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24 Jan 2014, 9:14 pm

Fogpatrol wrote:
Stop over analysing and text her back. I know its easier said than done but it's the way to go. She might have other friends who knows.


I texted her first. Seeing as she didn't text me back for my confirmation text it is possible I entered the number wrong or got a fake one.
Edit: I should mentioned that I did text her after feedback on the thread and it went un-replied-to. It is also quite possible that Boo's complaint was at least partially valid because thinking about our conversation some of my expressed opinions are indeed expressly Jewish stereotypes and I look somewhat Jewish so it could be that I ran into that.



The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Bad idea, especially between jews and muslims.


Off-top side question: Since your Torah tells you that you have to take the Land of Canaan (Palestine) by force and drive out all Canaanites from there, and since the Jews (and evangelists) today justify taking Palestine because their "ancestors" were there before them (only half of the ancestors of Israelis today , the Jew Arabs, because studies show that Ashkenazi Jews are originally Europeans, not Middle Easterns). Based on that logic and based on the Torah , not the Quran, aren't the descendants of the Canaanites (Lebanese, Syrians, Palestinians) have the right to retake their land? The Jews have invaded this land twice, first time with Joshua , and the second time with the Zionist movement.


Not the purpose of this thread thanks

*only view this thread if you find spewing vitriol at each other entertaining*
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp5874297.html#5874297

The Jews and Muslims thing is a myth. It's the particular Muslim polities, i.e. Iranians etc rather than a mandate of faith to be anti-jew. Even within the polities it is not universal.
The actions of Israel have not won them love by the Arab and north African nations, however.

One of the girls I dated briefly in high-school and again in college was conservative Muslim. I'm not sure her family would have approved but she didn't seem to mind (possibly because they going to make her marry some Lebanese man and she wanted to stay stateside). TBH the faiths are distinctly similar in most aspects. Conservative Jews even have customs regarding female dress that are distinctly similar though executed differently.

Boo I am willing to discuss religion on the appropriate forum in more detail but I hope that it will stay there and not bleed into forums where it is not conducive to the primary discussion. TBH religion is not an important part of my life and the only reason I mention it is because it is congenital and not necessarily a choice or held value system but that is irrelevant to the parties for whom the there is no distinction and racially held guilt is transferred at birth and made inescapable.


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warsend
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26 Jan 2014, 12:57 am

buffinator wrote:
Deuterium wrote:
You sound pretty put-off by her lifestyle; there is nothing inherently wrong with that, but you might want to just keep it as friends if you are already feeling hesitant and seeing some major incompatibilities.


Yeah but that is what I always do whenever I meet someone who seems interested in me.


i'm doing the same thing. It's a tough decision. You are worried you will get hurt. Keep updating this cuz it seems we are in similar paths right now. Deuter brings a good point, that if you are a little uncomfortable, it might be better to back off, I have a little bit not completely and I don't want to lead her on.

EDIT: Read the update, that sucks. :(



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26 Jan 2014, 9:33 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
...because studies show that...


IMO anybody who uses the phrase "studies show" in a debate automatically loses.



buffinator
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26 Jan 2014, 9:49 am

MaxE wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
...because studies show that...


IMO anybody who uses the phrase "studies show" in a debate automatically loses.


I will see her in class Monday unless she dropped and if she's not there I will text her again and if not will delete number and not worry about it. This is the first time... uh second time I have asked for a girls number IRL that I didn't know all that well. (the first time I realized she was 17 and that was all kinds of NOPE). I'm not too concerned about it. School is already more stressful than I was expecting and I might not be able to handle dating right now.... which sucks because i kind of need to meet a girl at school or I'm not going to meet one.


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gattboy
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27 Jan 2014, 5:09 am

hey i give you mad props for playing the numbers game and just seeing what happens... i've been doing a similar thing for a couple years and having whatever results, definitely got some phone numbers but nothing has led anywhere... some of the girls were really hot or I really liked them, some not so much, can't really figure out how much of a connection there is with all that

personally i'd keep in touch until it gets officially weird... you never know what is going to happen or not... some of the girls i thought i was going to marry, it never went anywhere... but then some of the girls i got the number in like 2 minutes, ended up having a pretty good connection with

ps- keeping halal is not that hard and doesn't necessarily imply all kinds of weird conservatism... there's halal items at mcdonalds and kfc etc... so keep hope alive

pps- everyone has that moment during the the day when something happens thats a little weird and funny, and you think you should tell someone what happened- thats what you text the girl, don't force it just wait for it... like if bird poop just misses you, or if you see a deer softly kick another deer while grazing (i saw that today) or just whatever, a funny shaped cloud that looks like your uncle... they want to share your life and not just be picked up all the time

granted i never get laid so take my advice for what it worth lol...



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28 Jan 2014, 12:10 am

If you are a practising jew, then anything you eat is fine for her. Halal rules are much more lenient versions of kosher.

Muslims are always allowed to eat food prepared by Jews or Christians, as long as it is not pork.

If she is a practising muslim, then casual dating is not really allowed especially when 'hidden' from friends and family. She will be taking this seriously. Meeting each others families asap will be expected.

That stuff about a woman staying indoors and spitting out kids has nothing to do with islam, more of a cultural thing. The prophet muhammed married a successful worldly independent business woman who was much older than him.

A good thing about someone with Islamic beliefs, is that they will absolutely see your good traits as GOOD. No weirdness at all about Autism related things, a lot of these characteristics are trained into religious people. To really overthink, be considerate, very honest etc.. you literally cannot stumble here. She will be very honest to you, as will her family, and she will appreciate the same in return.



buffinator
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28 Jan 2014, 1:04 am

Herman wrote:
A good thing about someone with Islamic beliefs, is that they will absolutely see your good traits as GOOD. No weirdness at all about Autism related things, a lot of these characteristics are trained into religious people. To really overthink, be considerate, very honest etc.. you literally cannot stumble here. She will be very honest to you, as will her family, and she will appreciate the same in return.


I did not get the feeling these necessarily apply but we will see. Classes were canceled due to the weather. I'm not a practicing Jew I decided I was an atheist when I was 5 and only went through the forms to bar mitzva. TBH we were reform and did not keep kosher so I don't understand the dietary restrictions.


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