I can definitely relate to not wanting to be narcissistic and have been fearful for a while. I have a lot of traits and wonder if I really care about anyone at all and I can be so hateful when thinking about people sometimes. Then there's the issue with jealousy and hard time admitting people are better at me than things.
Npd is mostly an esteem thing. Good thing is that you don't display any major traits so you probably don't have it. Maybe talk to a therapist!