Page 1 of 3 [ 38 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

droppy
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 3 Oct 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 477

25 Jan 2014, 11:20 am

I saw posts on this board where people stated that social interaction was exhausting for them.
I do not find social interaction exhausting. I do not need time alone to "recharge" after social interactions. It's not like when I need to take a break and do something I like after doing my homework.
Social interaction is just something I do in my own way, apparently I am not able to interact "properly" socially and I don't do it in the same way others do. When I do not understand someone/something during a social interaction I don't feel exhausted but just confused. It's like if I were listening to a philosophy lecture. I can't understand philosophy but I don't find philosophy lectures exhausting because I don't question myself about what the teacher is saying. I just can't understand and it confuses me.
I find social interaction confusing and most of it boring (but if I'm interacting with the right people I like it's not boring to me) but I have never found it exhausting.
My father has AS/HFA and finds social interaction boring but not exhausting. My mother is NT and finds it exhausting. Is this weird?
Might it be that I do not find it exhausting because I just don't question myself about it, and am completely oblivious to "common" social rules and have never been able to understand them and act on them? I mean, I act following my own "rules", well, actually they're not rules but that's just what I do because I've always done it.
There are days during which I feel that the act of speaking is exhauating, but not speaking to people is for me, but the sole act of opening my mouth to produce a sound is extremely tiring, no matter who I am talking to or if I am talking with someone at all.



Last edited by droppy on 25 Jan 2014, 11:30 am, edited 1 time in total.

IceKitten
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 9 Nov 2010
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 144

25 Jan 2014, 11:28 am

At times I don't find social interaction exhausting. It all depends on how much I force myself to be sociable.


_________________
Female diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome


droppy
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 3 Oct 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 477

25 Jan 2014, 11:31 am

IceKitten wrote:
At times I don't find social interaction exhausting. It all depends on how much I force myself to be sociable.

Maybe it's because of that? I never force myself to be sociable.



Norny
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Dec 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,488

25 Jan 2014, 11:50 am

It's 4AM so that's my excuse if this sounds blunt:

ASD =/= Introversion
Introversion = Introversion

I suspect that most people with ASD that find socializing exhausting have it that way because of excessive sensory input or something similar. I've read that processing speeds tend to be slower too a lot of the time.


_________________
Unapologetically, Norny. :rambo:
-chronically drunk


bumble
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Mar 2011
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,073

25 Jan 2014, 12:01 pm

1 Having to make conversation and constantly think of things to say about subjects I don't usually spend anytime thinking about when I am alone (such as what is trendy or what is not. I tend to do things because I enjoy them, not because they are in fashion)

2 Having to remember not to keep on about my pet subjects

3 Having to remember that conversation is a two way thing if I do accidentally find myself rattling on about my pet subject

4 Putting up with peoples complaints all of the time "you talk too much, change the subject, you don't talk enough, make eye contact, be more trendy, be more interesting..."

5 Coping with all the background noise when everyone else is talking all at once and not being able to hear what they are saying

6 Coping with other factors such as having to wear uncomfortable clothing (at parties where you can't dress casually for example) or make up or high heel shoes or horrible lighting.

7 Coping with all the drama involved...the gossip, the bitching, the backstabbing...when all you want is a congenial time enjoying subjects of mutual interest (either doing together or talking about).

8 Constantly putting up with being rejected, referred to as weird, bullied, outcast, ostracised and generally treated like dog s**t on the successful NTs shoe.

9 Getting stuck in a conversation and not knowing how to end it without feeling like you are being rude.

10 Dominating people trying to dominate you and tell you what to do and who to be all the time.

11 Trying to read social cues and attempting to keep up with all the social games but failing.

12 No time to get anything else done because social demands are so high (people want to chit chat and socialise every minute of every day to the point it can be impossible to find time to shower, eat and indulge your hobbies...constant social pressure).

Those are my main reasons...



droppy
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 3 Oct 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 477

25 Jan 2014, 12:04 pm

I find the sound of many voices talking together overwhelming and confusing, reason why I hate most group interaction, unless the people are quiet and don't talk all together. When more than one person is talking I feel dizzy and confused and I have to move away from the group, otherwise I am going to have a great meltdown.
This is why when I'm in the same room with a lot of people I usually listen to music with my earphones.
I don't know if the noise could be defined as exhausting for me but sure is overwhelming and confusing to me.
About the low processing speed I was told I have it. It takes me some seconds to understand what a person has told me and this is why I answer late. I have to analyze what has been said because I don't get it immediately, either because I have forgotten it as quickly as it has been said or because I can't focus due to the background noise.



Last edited by droppy on 25 Jan 2014, 12:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

bumble
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Mar 2011
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,073

25 Jan 2014, 12:06 pm

@OP

Perhaps you have friends who accept you...it can be very different with easy going people who accept you and whom don't pressure you, but I don't have a formal diagnosis and although I don't feel NT I am expected to act and look like one. Trying to carry off that act is down right exhausting and depressing as well.

Most of the people I find want to change me. Its hard having to be something I am not all of the time. I just want to go away somewhere where I can be myself.

I don't keep complaining at myself if I make a social mistake.
I don't bully myself because I acted strangely or came across as weird
I don't constantly talk at myself if I want to be quiet
I don't pressure myself to be anything other than me



Soccer22
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jun 2013
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 692

25 Jan 2014, 12:08 pm

bumble wrote:
1 Having to make conversation and constantly think of things to say about subjects I don't usually spend anytime thinking about when I am alone (such as what is trendy or what is not. I tend to do things because I enjoy them, not because they are in fashion)

2 Having to remember not to keep on about my pet subjects

3 Having to remember that conversation is a two way thing if I do accidentally find myself rattling on about my pet subject

4 Putting up with peoples complaints all of the time "you talk too much, change the subject, you don't talk enough, make eye contact, be more trendy, be more interesting..."

5 Coping with all the background noise when everyone else is talking all at once and not being able to hear what they are saying

6 Coping with other factors such as having to wear uncomfortable clothing (at parties where you can't dress casually for example) or make up or high heel shoes or horrible lighting.

7 Coping with all the drama involved...the gossip, the bitching, the backstabbing...when all you want is a congenial time enjoying subjects of mutual interest (either doing together or talking about).

8 Constantly putting up with being rejected, referred to as weird, bullied, outcast, ostracised and generally treated like dog sh** on the successful NTs shoe.

9 Getting stuck in a conversation and not knowing how to end it without feeling like you are being rude.

10 Dominating people trying to dominate you and tell you what to do and who to be all the time.

11 Trying to read social cues and attempting to keep up with all the social games but failing.

12 No time to get anything else done because social demands are so high (people want to chit chat and socialise every minute of every day to the point it can be impossible to find time to shower, eat and indulge your hobbies...constant social pressure).

Those are my main reasons...


I think you've pretty much covered it all and I agree on all of it! All those reasons get me exhausted and I can't wait to get home, get into comfy clothes , and settle in on the couch and relax



bumble
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Mar 2011
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,073

25 Jan 2014, 12:08 pm

Oh and I find it hard to get out of my own little world for long periods of time. I tend to live in Cheryl land...other people don't always exist in this mystical place. I spend a lot of time there. It takes energy to pop out. I am an introvert.



bumble
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Mar 2011
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,073

25 Jan 2014, 12:09 pm

Soccer22 wrote:

I think you've pretty much covered it all and I agree on all of it! All those reasons get me exhausted and I can't wait to get home, get into comfy clothes , and settle in on the couch and relax


I second that!



StuckWithin
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 28 Nov 2011
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 221
Location: My mind

25 Jan 2014, 12:13 pm

The most exhausting aspects of socialization occur for me when the situation is a large group (parties, dances) and when things don't have a plan, or just unfold spontaneously. I find that I need time to process everything to be able to "make sense" of it (something NTs probably don't even do).

Then, things can change suddenly and everyone is laughing, while I am still trying to process what happened before. Meanwhile, people don't analyze, they just mindlessly (not meant in a pejorative tone btw) go with the flow.

I then feel out of step, and self conscious, and ultimately, get mentally tired.

When I leave the party to go walking alone, man does it ever feel good!

The irony is, I am not being sociable in that moment while recharging......


_________________
AQ: 40 EQ: 7 SQ: 43


League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,205
Location: Pacific Northwest

25 Jan 2014, 12:18 pm

I don't find it exhausting. When being around people for too long, I find myself preferring to be alone. I can be around a bunch of people and do my own thing and not feel tired from it. I don't force myself to talk to socialize. I think the only time I ever found it exhausting was when I was a kid and I was forcing myself to be with other kids who I saw as my friends and they were all talking about things I was not into and just wanted to stand around and chit chat. I found that all boring. I wished they would do something better than chit chat. But I never got tired from it. I never was the sort of person to just sit around and visit and chit chat like adults do when they visit. But yet if it's something I am interested in or something I get interested about, I will socialize and not find it exhausting. It gets frustrating when there are a bunch of people talking and my questions get ignored or I can't get a word in edgewise because of other people talking and I have to try hard to not interrupt and not being able to keep up with the topic.


_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.


LtlPinkCoupe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2011
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,044
Location: In my room, where it's safe

25 Jan 2014, 12:21 pm

I do find social interaction exhausting, but only if it's been an ongoing thing all day, and stressors have accumulated throughout the day. That's usually the point where it becomes exhausting for me.


_________________
I wish Sterling Holloway narrated my life.

"IT'S NOT FAIR!" "Life isn't fair, Calvin." "I know, but why isn't it ever unfair in MY favor?" ~ from Calvin and Hobbes


bumble
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Mar 2011
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,073

25 Jan 2014, 12:33 pm

StuckWithin wrote:
The most exhausting aspects of socialization occur for me when the situation is a large group (parties, dances) and when things don't have a plan, or just unfold spontaneously. I find that I need time to process everything to be able to "make sense" of it (something NTs probably don't even do).

Then, things can change suddenly and everyone is laughing, while I am still trying to process what happened before. Meanwhile, people don't analyze, they just mindlessly (not meant in a pejorative tone btw) go with the flow.

I then feel out of step, and self conscious, and ultimately, get mentally tired.

When I leave the party to go walking alone, man does it ever feel good!

The irony is, I am not being sociable in that moment while recharging......


I think a good point is mentioned here in that it is mentally exhausting. For me, it does not exhaust me physically, the strain of dealing with everything tires me mentally.



Marky9
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Mar 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,625
Location: USA

25 Jan 2014, 12:49 pm

I do find social interactions to be exhausting. Unless, of course, I like the other person and we are having a jolly time together; then it is fun and stimulating in a good way. There are just very few people that I enjoy in that way.


_________________
"Righteous indignation is best left to those who are better able to handle it." - Bill W.


StuckWithin
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 28 Nov 2011
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 221
Location: My mind

25 Jan 2014, 12:58 pm

bumble wrote:
I think a good point is mentioned here in that it is mentally exhausting. For me, it does not exhaust me physically, the strain of dealing with everything tires me mentally.

Basically, yes. The physically exhausting part can happen for example if there is dancing, and someone drags me out to dance with the group (which I can't stand, as I am stiff and tire easily).


_________________
AQ: 40 EQ: 7 SQ: 43