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Misslizard
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05 Mar 2014, 12:59 pm

A penis prosthesis?


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DigitalDesperado
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05 Mar 2014, 1:23 pm

Dating sites can be a tough, weird, wacky, soul crushing place to subject yourself to, but, like playing the lottery, people do win at it. Just be aware that your 'losses' will be difficult to deal with - you have to be very strong and it helps to have a very short memory.

I've heard in said that the people that have the most success with online dating are also successful at dating in the 'real world' and simply turn to online sites due to the fact that their busy life styles don't afford them the time to meet people and I think there is a lot of truth to that

OKC would be as good place as any to start - in my opinion.
I would avoid Craigslist like the plague - in fact, I think that is where it originated



GiantHockeyFan
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05 Mar 2014, 3:02 pm

DigitalDesperado wrote:
you have to be very strong and it helps to have a very short memory.

That sums up my problem right there. As much as I try to downplay it, the single fact is I am a)a wuss, b)take rejection VERY personally and c)never forget anything. I'm clueless about social cues in the real world but the bottom line is the lack of online success is giving me a bad, jaded attitude that's slowly carrying over in the real world.

DigitalDesperado wrote:
I've heard in said that the people that have the most success with online dating are also successful at dating in the 'real world' and simply turn to online sites due to the fact that their busy life styles don't afford them the time to meet people and I think there is a lot of truth to that

In other words, the kind of women I'm not interested in. That is, the ones that are so busy you wonder where the heck they will find the time to be with me. I seem to be painted into a corner: I'm not good at reading cues, online dating is a waste of time and energy and bars are a place I would never be able to talk to a women if I tried, even if I wanted to. On the plus side, I did get one date out of OKCupid so far although she posted deceiving pictures and I didn't really feel any connection to her. I would be HIGHLY shocked if I am able to get another date out of that site.



starkid
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05 Mar 2014, 9:08 pm

Misslizard wrote:
And all these pictures of men holding up fish,that's more likely to impress a man.


I'd say that over half of the things the average man does are far more likely to impress other men.



buffinator
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05 Mar 2014, 10:29 pm

I had/ am having some success with okcupid. For me it wasn't about being honest or dishonest. The information in a dating profile is completely arbitrary. It doesn't matter if you like XYZ movie or whatever. The best advice I got was to have "three words" that you want the reader to take away from your profile, i.e. they would use these three words to describe you based on your profile without you actually giving them the words.

Mine were geeky, funny, ... (I forget lol). So I made geeky jokes in all of the sections rather than get caught up on listing arbitrary factoids about myself. This got me substantially more replies than anything else I tried. Think about it this way: if you had fun writing your profile your reader will have fun reading it!

Something really important is to understand the initial stages of dating. When you first contact someone you don't exist, and neither do they. Obviously unless they are a bot there is a person somewhere, but they arent a part of your reality. You need to understand that it takes a long time to become real. Multiple in-person dates in and you might still just be an abstraction, and it is fully expected that you will feel that way about them as well!

There are different ways to approach dating. You need to be interested and disinterested. For example I got my most recent date by saying I don't really care If we go on a date or not, I'm in no hurry. Thats because if you want to meet in person, right now, no excuses, seriously what is your problem b***h! ... then you are probably the creepy stalker that they are afraid of meeting on a dating website. By being interested in learning about them, but not concerned with immediate results, you lower the pressure level.

Idk. The girl I'm pursuing right now is differant. We talked on the phone every night for several hours for 2 weeks before the first date. I make sure to contact her every day. Before we even went out we had the "goals and expectations" talk (which usually happens a couple months in). She actually told me that our interactions are odd. Idk. I dont claim to be an expert, but I've had a variety of experiences. I'm actually a little confused because I feel like I've been showing her my 'red flag' collection and she hasn't stopped talking to me yet, though there is still no 2nd date planned.

I think I should point out that how much I am thinking about her is unhealthily too much. I'm still just an abstraction and she's still looking at other guys on okcupid. So getting emotionally invested is a mistake. Oops... again....


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MDD123
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07 Mar 2014, 9:26 pm

The only people who talk to me on okcupid have absolutely nothing going on in their lives, they're not in the transition of getting a life, they just have nothing going on and no interest. (and I find that very depressing). Then the ones who do have it together (or in the works) want someone who has it together, not just in the process of getting it together. Nearly all profiles reccomended to me have children from previous relationships (yea, I know, I'm an a-hole for even mentioning that). For all you 20 year olds with a good idea of what career you'll want, get on it or you'll end up like me.


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