it is better to have NEVER loved than to have loved and lost

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yes, I learned that from being on wrong planet but face to face I can't read people, I get mixed signals all the time.

I have loved many years ago, and ever since then have been lonely and in pain.

I have experienced both, therefore I can say I would prefer to go through the pain of love loss, than continue to be alone. I'd prefer not to go through either to be honest. I just want a woman to settle down with, and that's it.

Sorry about this-whatever it was-that just happened to you.

About the question posted: I don't know.

thank you for your response. if you wish to relate to your own experience in this regard, I will listen and be supportive.

Expanding the original question whilst still answering.

I get very few opportunities to feel happy these days, I have no delight in the days, (an extra point if you can name that scripture), but my emotional hunger desires satiation, hence in the absence of happiness I will chose sadness for I find emotional emptiness unbearable.

Therefore, at least having Loved and lost I can feel the pain that great poets have expressed, to have not known such, or indeed anything, means an empty shell of a life has been lead, a waste of Mans capacity for feeling.

an empty vessel feels better than one filled with pain.

^This! I feel it easier just to shut down emotionally and is what I have done. Emotions to me are evil and make life worse. I have better things to do with my time then bask in loneliness, sadness, sorrow, and pain.

I'm very sorry you're in such pain auntblabby.

I suppose my opinion conflicts, but my answer isn't a poll option. I'd not trade my time with my former girlfriend for anything despite our time together being fairly short. She taught me so many great things about how to live, and my memories of our lovely time together are so heartwarmingly fond.

Ideally, for the sake of the heart's innocence, I think it's better to love and not lose, but what is done is done. The pain of breakup was my catalyst for my intense progress in self improvement. People who knew me just a couple years ago have stated in their own words that I've gone through a complete paradigm shift, and I wouldn't have made that daunting journey of learning to be whole and content on my own had I not been cut loose by such a competent teacher and rendered so soft, scared and alone and consequentially driven to improve my life with the strength that she had taught me prior to release.

I'm not sure what I think about dating anymore, but I don't let myself dwell on it. If I find romance in the future, then it is to be, but for now, I've no reason to concern myself by pondering what I have no control over nor ability to perceive. My love and pursuit for music as a musician is enough to satisfy romance for me from now unto my death.

I'm not however of the school of thought, that "it is better to have loved and lost"... More so, "it is better to have loved and learned".

QFT

Reminds of someone else's experience.

A buddy at work who I worked with a long time (left the company and I havent heard from him lately) had at one time been engaged. I was aware that some fiance in his past "broke his heart" and betrayed him somehow.

Then one day when he, I, and a lady coworker, were on break on a project utilizing just the three of us- he told us of a dream he had had.

In this dream he found himself up in a tree terrified of falling. He had to move through the branches -picking each one carefully-to keep from falling.

Then suddenly- he dropped safely to the ground.

But he realized that he was stark naked.

A young lady passerby was startled by this naked guy appearing in front of her. He said 'excuse me miss' as he quickly bolted for the door of his house.

He wondered aloud what it meant. The lady coworker just rasped "it means you're horney".

That evening after work his dream drifted into my head. That lady coworker gave the right "short answer", but...Well I concluded that the dream meant that he had recovered from the emotional wound of that relationship he had years before.

He was up in a tree- terrified of making a wrong move- and of getting hurt.
But then he leaves the tree- but he is naked- and in front of a young lady-meaning he was exposed emotionally- now ready to open up again to a relationship. Ready to take a risk again. Rather poignant actually- it seemed to me.

Less than a year after that- he found himself a wife and had a wedding. So...maybe I was on to something in my analysis.

Anyway- like this guy I worked with- you will recover from this someday too.

thank you for that encouraging analysis and reply all things must pass, eventually.

Agreed. That kind of relationship has too much potential to cause stress and distraction.

Sorry to read you're going through a rougher spot right now, Blabby. You're right, it's gonna take some time for these things to heal over. I've been there a couple of times. Be strong and feel better.

thank you which poll answer did you prefer?

This might not help to heal your sadness, but want to say; you are a diamond in the rough, and worthy of so much love and happiness. That's all I know.

thank you very much. btw, what was your poll choice?