How can I get a girlfriend?

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Im ugly.

Virigin.

And have Aspgers.

It feels impossible.

First, you have to stop thinking like that.

Then you have to be realistic and realize that nothing happens overnight and that particular part of life comes at different times for different people, so giving up in despair is counter-productive.

Worrying about it will only keep you miserable. Be the best person you know how to be - if you feel you need improvement, then seek it - I had to hunt down books, you've got the whole Internet at your fingertips.

Put yourself where other people are. It's going to be painful and uncomfortable, if your social skills are already weak, and you make yourself go places where other people your age hang out, it's going to feel extremely awkward for a while, and I mean for the first few months, not the first ten minutes, but you HAVE to give people a chance to get to know you. When you're not good at just walking up to people and starting conversations, that's going to take a while. But it won't EVER happen if you're not there in the first place.

As you get to know people, concentrate on cultivating FRIENDSHIPS, not desperately seeking romance. Desperation scares people away. Remember, you cannot MAKE someone fall in love with you.

And be prepared to get your heart broken, repeatedly. There's no avoiding it. You're already going onto the field with your heart on your sleeve, which is to say, you're not wearing an emotional cup, so every disappointment is going to feel like a kick in the sack. As the saying goes, "you can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs" and you're going to get your eggs broken, a lot - but if you want to win the treasure, you've got to suffer for it.

Good luck.

Last edited by Willard on 31 Mar 2014, 12:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Being a virgin is no big deal, having Asperger's is no big deal. Being ugly IS a big deal because it hits at yourself confidence a lot if you let it...

Even if you really are 'ugly' you can combat this by dressing nice, being well groomed and smelling nice (girls love a guy that smells nice ).

I have Asperger's and I'm certainly no "long, tan, dark, muscular and handsome" type. In fact friend, I am short. 5 ft. 8, I am blonde and light skinned and I am not ripped and I have had my fair share and I'm only aged twenty.

There is hope. It would be interesting for you to upload a photo because I bet you aren't ugly.

Number one thing is looks. Ok, so you're missing that. Next best thing would be being a master of the arts. If you can write anything romantic and then give it or perform it for her that would go a long way, but I'm not sure what your skills are. If there are none, the last thing you can try which is always important unless you look good and every girl talks to you first, is to be confident. Don't be afraid to walk up and strike a conversation with someone. Go ahead and compliment them, it won't hurt to say "I like how you styled your hair today." You can even say major interest comments like how pretty their eyes are, but make sure you know them well enough first, otherwise it will be really creepy or awkward. Hope I helped man.

Just focus on yourself relationships and friends will follow. Make sure you got a job start exercising and making plans for the future. People like that s**t.

Just focus on yourself relationships and friends will follow. Make sure you got a job start exercising and making plans for the future. People like that s**t.

Just go to places where a lot of socially awkward geeks hang out like at conventions ren fairs and such!

To get a girlfriend, you have to be a man a girl would want as a boyfriend. Ugly is not an issue, cause if it were, there would be no ugly people, now, would there? Virginity is not an issue. Everyone is a virgin until the day they aren't. Asperger's is not an issue. We just think and learn differently. Never apologize for it.

The issue is you hate yourself and believe what everyone's told you over the years. A girlfriend won't change that. Don't worry about girls liking you, worry about YOU liking you. Then find the courage to change yourself for the better, to become the kind of guy that girls want to be with instead of the guy who hopes he can trick one into liking him.

Im an aspie i lost my virginity at 17 its not impossible!

You know everyone is a virgin when they start off.

Just pretend you're not, it's not like you're a girl and people will know if you're lying.

do things to make yourself seem and feel better looking, it that means working out, exercising, getting sun, new clothes, whatever

stop worrying about being a virgin, that doesn't matter for a long time, only people who are into casual sex care

read up about social skills, go out in the world and practice them, make mistakes, learn from them

complaining on the internet about how it's impossible is going to make it just that, impossible.

I have never dated a women becuse I know I have no chance.

I dont imagine im ugly, I know im ugly, I have good self-perception.

Some people are ugly and it sucks, but someone has to be it.

Yes it is. It scares most women away. Being virigin as a 23 year old is proof that there is something wrong with me.

Why would a women choose me when she can choose another better guy and she knows it?

Many people have told me that im ugly, even my own sister.

And it feels like people are looking at me when I go out, and laughs.

Im such a loser.

That's not so bad. When I go out, people point out how ugly I look. I guess they do it in case I haven't noticed they were staring at me.


You really shouldn't tell others you're a virgin.

I was a virgin until almost 30. My Ex at the time acted REALLY weird around me after we did it for the first time. I later found out she assumed I was lying because I was so good at it. Sometimes being inexperienced can be a good thing: you have no bad habits. Just remember is relationships and in sex to take it S-L-O-W and realize it's not that big of a deal and nobody can tell anyways.

I know exactly how you feel. I've been told I'm exceptionally good looking but I spend until my mid 20s loathing my appearance because every girl I knew thought I was ugly and disgusting and loved to frequently mention it. I will NEVER forget I ran into one of those 'popular' girls last year and the stunned look on her face. "(First Name)? (First & Last Name)? Is that REALLY you?" She looked AWFUL Last I saw here she insulted my looks and by lack of friends and now I was at work at had FOUR people lined up to talk to him about something.