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Should I try a dating site?
Yes 31%  31%  [ 10 ]
No 6%  6%  [ 2 ]
You're kidding, right? 6%  6%  [ 2 ]
It's your call, do what you want 44%  44%  [ 14 ]
I just want to click on something 13%  13%  [ 4 ]
Total votes : 32

Northeastern292
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03 Apr 2014, 4:59 pm

To do or not to do: that's my dilemna.



GivePeaceAChance
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03 Apr 2014, 7:38 pm

pluses and minus'

for most sites there is a high male to female ratio (and many of the womyn are fake) - this means the womyn get to be pickier.

but it does expand your reach beyond just meeting people IRL. Make sure you are honest about what you are and what you are looking for or it won't work out in the end anyway.


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newageretrohippie
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04 Apr 2014, 12:32 am

Do or do not. There is no try.

But seriously, go for it if you want but IMO it's not worth it...


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hale_bopp
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04 Apr 2014, 1:52 am

Just go on one, if noone likes you, who cares, its better than not trying.



Archdevilius
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04 Apr 2014, 4:33 am

Dating sites worked for me because they make it easier to approach, I used to experience anxiety approaching people in real life and that would make me appear awkward or strange. It tends to be easier when you can build up comfort through the internet first.

It's much easier to meet when you know the girl finds you attractive in advance. However most of the women I had success with took the initiative and messaged me first instead of me messaging them. So here's my advice..

Make sure you have yourself together, be the best you can be and present yourself the best way possible, I spent hours researching what a good and interesting profile looks like and how to take pictures.

Remember attractive women get hundreds of messages but most of them are very bad messages, forget the pick up artist lines or asking them how they are, show an actual interest in their profile, their life and what they enjoy. Learn to analyse profiles so you can create interesting questions that require an answer or spark a conversation.

Go in with a positive attitude and don't take rejection personally, the ratio of men to women is much higher and it isn't an indicator of real life. That's why you should work on developing your social skills by joining groups and clubs or by making a real conscious effort to improve your real life interactions as real life is easier if you know what you are doing, most of us with Autism don't but you have to start somewhere...



Archdevilius
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04 Apr 2014, 4:39 am

Also..

If you're going to have high standards for the opposite sex, you better hold them to yourself too. So like I said make sure you have yourself together, judging by your photo, I think you could have success on dating sites.

Some of the guys posting on here about how they have no success tend to be negative self defeatist overweight, bald men that can't even be bothered to maintain general hygiene, fitness or grooming and wonder why they lack success on dating sites



The_Face_of_Boo
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04 Apr 2014, 5:25 am

I've deleted my okc account and others because the moment I've turned 32 EVERY SINGLE WOMAN in my area is asking me "Are you married? - despite my status.

Like wtf.



886
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04 Apr 2014, 5:35 am

not like you have anything to lose by joining one, just do it, temper expectations, and have fun.


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Eccles_the_Mighty
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04 Apr 2014, 10:00 am

Go for it, have fun!

Dating sites take all the pressure off that first approach and all you need to make sure of is that your initial email is enough to get their attention. Some tips:

1) At least two clear recent pictures in your profile with only you in the frame.

2) Don't mention Aspergers in your profile but be honest in what you write.

3) Be realistic in your selection of partner, the more 'don't care' answers there are the more women you will meet.

4) If a member asks you for money immediately report them to the site administrator.

OK Cupid is probably the best, Metrodate should be avoided at all costs and I've heard mixed reports about Plenty of Fish.


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thewhitrbbit
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04 Apr 2014, 10:55 am

Why not? It's free.

Just don't go in with high expectations.



Misslizard
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04 Apr 2014, 12:56 pm

I didn't like POF or OK stupid.I deleted both accounts because the last few messages were weird.Since I live in a rural area I thought I'd look at one with a real hokey name,Farmers Only.
They actually had some men that sounded and looked interesting,but you have to pay to message them.You can look for free.I'm not optimistic enough to pay.


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AutisticGuy1981
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04 Apr 2014, 1:13 pm

I don't have the balls to put my photo on a personal dating website.
Just the fact my neighbours might see my profile makes me uneasy, I wish you could just block people from seeing your profile.
Most let you block people but only after they message you which is pretty crappy

It's a pity aspieaffection is so broken , I can never even browse all the UK people after the first 1-2 pages it just breaks..



Northeastern292
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04 Apr 2014, 5:18 pm

I'm glad to see a vote of confidence from so many of you!



Ioini
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04 Apr 2014, 6:04 pm

Go ahead and try it! If it doesn't work out at least you will have experience talking to women and learning to improve. Better do it before you regret it.



Last edited by Ioini on 05 Apr 2014, 2:16 am, edited 1 time in total.

Northeastern292
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04 Apr 2014, 11:41 pm

Signing up for OkCupid might be one of my better bad ideas....I'm hooked!