How can I tell when someone's interested in me?

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GingerGrrl23
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22 Feb 2007, 12:31 pm

I'm really confused!!


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MrMark
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22 Feb 2007, 2:23 pm

I know what you mean. All the girls smile at me.


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ZanneMarie
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22 Feb 2007, 2:36 pm

I wish I could tell you but I am just horrible at this! It obviously doesn't improve with age. I had friends who "interpreted" for me. "He's trying to flirt with you." In the end, my old boyfriends always screened out the guys who were interested in me and introduced me to the ones they thought I would like. LOL I don't know how common that is! All I can say is that is an indication right there about how bad I was at reading men.



GingerGrrl23
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22 Feb 2007, 2:43 pm

Well, my real problem is is that I tend to like guys and I think they like me, but it turns out they don't! :(


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ZanneMarie
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22 Feb 2007, 3:10 pm

Do you have any friends, girls or guys, or siblings (my brothers were also good at this believe it or not!) who could interpret for you whether the guy is interested? You're probably like me. I can't read eyes, facial expressions or body language for anything and I've had so many communication classes. It's always like I think I'm getting it but I'm not! Anyway, if you do have a friend or sibling, ask them to tell you what's going on.



richardbenson
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22 Feb 2007, 3:46 pm

well lets see a picture and i might let you know if i'm interested in you :wink:


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larsenjw92286
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22 Feb 2007, 3:57 pm

If you have common interests, that's how you can tell.


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22 Feb 2007, 4:30 pm

Depends on the guy - if he's shy or not - as to what the signals are.

For shy guys, they may babble incessantly or nervously, or not say anything...may just hang around in the background or try and spend as much time as they can with you. My current boyfriend started off babbling like a madman about absolutely nothing from nerves at first, then tried to spend all his time with me. Unfortunately he forgot that actually FLIRTING is a good way to get into someone's pants :lol: Not just being your best friend.

A more assertive guy will probably turn on the grace. They have a 'smooth' way of moving...when they're trying to 'get the girl' they're often more charming, say sweet little things, and have a way of moving that radiates power and finesse. Thing is, you can usually tell this kinda guy because it's pretty blatant that they want you.

It's telling whether the shy guys like you or not that's the challenge :?

If he really REALLY likes you and you know him fairly well, note how close he is to you. Trying to gently bump your hand with his? Always staring at you? Smiling at you all the time? Or turn away when he's caught staring? Exceedingly nice? If he seems to just be a really nice guy, look out for the other cues - normally closeness, both physically and chronologically (wanting to spend lots of time with you). Asked for your number? That's normally a dead giveaway. Some guys will also try and give you stuff. Lots of it. Anything and everything with some, their generosity knows no bounds!

For most girls it's 'blatantly obvious' when a guy likes you, but of course for Aspies it's not so obvious at all :? Problem is, the hints may be obvious but they're too subtle for us NTs to actually put down in words... ><;



Graelwyn
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22 Feb 2007, 6:45 pm

larsenjw92286 wrote:
If you have common interests, that's how you can tell.



I dont think having common interests is a sign of someone being interested in you. That just means there might be more chance of two people getting along with one another since the interests would have predated the having interest most likely.

From what I have observed, when someone is interested in you, they tend to hover around you a lot, and look at you a lot...in the case of men, they also often tend to show off or 'pose' as a friend calls it, making sure that they get your attention.



ahayes
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22 Feb 2007, 9:02 pm

Yeah, if I'm interested in a gal I'll be in her presence more often.



Starbuline
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22 Feb 2007, 10:11 pm

I think if someone keeps staring at you. Perhaps.



Shale
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22 Feb 2007, 10:13 pm

Starbuline wrote:
I think if someone keeps staring at you. Perhaps.


Let's just say either they're staring because they think you're hot, or because they think you're weird. The expression on their face usually gives that away :lol:



Starbuline
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22 Feb 2007, 10:15 pm

Shale wrote:
Starbuline wrote:
I think if someone keeps staring at you. Perhaps.


Let's just say either they're staring because they think you're hot, or because they think you're weird. The expression on their face usually gives that away :lol:


Which is bad if you have trouble reading them!



Shale
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22 Feb 2007, 10:47 pm

True. Gets into the 'how the hell do I describe this?' territory right here. How I wish I could extract the book in my head and lay it on the table! :x

A 'vacant' or thoroughly interested/absorbed expression would usually indicate someone's fascinated by you or obsessed with you. Whereas a slight wrinkle of the nose blatantly means 'pch, um, ew' :lol: If someone stares at you out of the corner of their eye, it can mean a couple of things. Generally with the head held level or slightly above level, they are 'looking down' at you...probably in the 'wtflol' sort of sense or 'scummy young person' way that a lot of older people do. If they have their head low, they are trying not to be noticed, they are intimidated, or shy...the way in which they look away at that point gives it away. If someone's really bashful over you they will probably glance down and blush or smile (or attempt not to smile, but fail).



TheBladeRoden
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22 Feb 2007, 11:42 pm

My problem is girls never talk to me voluntarily so if by some miracle they do i automatically think they have the hots for me.


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TODSKI
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23 Feb 2007, 1:37 am

I find it depends on the venue. For instance: at work? Some one you see on a daily basis? Then you could look for "changes" in the way the person relates to you.
Do they suddenly ask you if you want a coffee? Compliment you on on any thing? I found I had to almost process against a "template" if you get my meaning?
Don't know if that makes any sense...... :?