Rant - ugh. Autism is behavioural, apparently.

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bumble
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Age: 48
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20 May 2014, 7:44 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Hi Bumble.

I hear the weather's been nice in England.


Yes but I would enjoy it more if the neighbours didn't gossip about me when I was in earshot and sat outside trying to get my much needed Vitamin D. I know they think I am weird due to my upsets when I have them (overloads, meltdowns whatever one wants to call them) but I can hear and understand every word they are saying.

Calling me weird cow and doing things like gossiping about the fact that I have no carpet or anything in my house just tiles (for various reasons including the fact that I am waiting for my walls to be replastered by the landlord and its not really worth putting anything down or redecorating until they have done that through to the fact that I don't work right now and am not made of money plus what is wrong with tiles anyway?) is not on when I am trying to improve the depression I am suffering from that is being caused by my social situation and peoples sh***y social behaviour towards me.

I need to hear their gossip like I need a hole in my head.


And the gossipy neighbour was wrong, I actually have rugs in at least one of the rooms (the one I sit in most, I stay out of the front room mostly due to the plaster being bad in there. It's safe but just does not look nice as it is coming away from the wall. The landlord hired cowboys to do the original job and they did not do it properly apparently. It is cracked, dead and needs to be redone) so they can bugger off.

Soon it will be the talk of the vilage that I have NO carpets or anything though...

I really hate this sh***y backwards village.

One more insult and I am reporting to the housing association as antisocial behaviour. I have a right to sit in my garden without feeling like I am being verbally assaulted by people and their gossip. I'd appreciate it if they at least kept it out of the reach of my hearing range.



Iced
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21 May 2014, 7:45 am

I might have learned to cope better over the years but that doesn't mean it's gone.

Just because I'm not having a meltdown in public because of 'everything going on around me' overload doesn't mean that I don't still wish that a mothership would come by and finally, finally, FINALLY beam me up and away and take me back 'home' because BOY does living on this world SUCK at times.

I'm good at hiding my worst days and I can even 'fake it' at times simply because of all the mental rubrics I have accumulated over time, but it doesn't mean I've 'outgrown' it.

Perhaps the only reason I'm not so bothered by the whole, "You'll outgrow it," business is because I already deal - and have had to deal - with that sort of crap regarding another lifelong genetic disorder that - like being on the spectrum - is 'invisible' and has been the focal point for many, "It's not that bad!" and "You'll outgrow it!" and "You can't even tell so it must not exist!" and "You look perfectly normal so you must be normal!" discussions and misunderstandings.