Do you permanently feel like an unwanted intruder?

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YourMajesty
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26 Jun 2014, 10:19 am

As I said in another thread, last week was rather rough and now my internet's gone too ^_^ (using my phone now) In fact I don't even have time to be suffering from such feelings but as it is, I do :lol:

I need to do a lot at the moment to fix a bad situation that I'm in and it's costing me a lot of energy. Besides, things haven't been going too well because of all this. I think it's important to remain mindful about yourself, your feelings and your behaviour, habits and tendencies. It makes improvement easier.


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Lace-Bane
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26 Jun 2014, 3:04 pm

YourMajesty wrote:
As I said in another thread, last week was rather rough and now my internet's gone too ^_^ (using my phone now) In fact I don't even have time to be suffering from such feelings but as it is, I do :lol:

I need to do a lot at the moment to fix a bad situation that I'm in and it's costing me a lot of energy. Besides, things haven't been going too well because of all this. I think it's important to remain mindful about yourself, your feelings and your behaviour, habits and tendencies. It makes improvement easier.

I really hope you can make it through whatever it is that is burdening your life so at the moment as painlessly and quickly as possible. Though, I admit, pain and enduring it has taught me many grand lessons in calmly weathering chaos, I still don't like to see others... especially kind spirits, go through difficult trials.

I wish you peace, strength, courage and resilience in making it through whatever it is that is your trouble.



YourMajesty
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26 Jun 2014, 4:15 pm

Lace-Bane wrote:
YourMajesty wrote:
As I said in another thread, last week was rather rough and now my internet's gone too ^_^ (using my phone now) In fact I don't even have time to be suffering from such feelings but as it is, I do :lol:

I need to do a lot at the moment to fix a bad situation that I'm in and it's costing me a lot of energy. Besides, things haven't been going too well because of all this. I think it's important to remain mindful about yourself, your feelings and your behaviour, habits and tendencies. It makes improvement easier.

I really hope you can make it through whatever it is that is burdening your life so at the moment as painlessly and quickly as possible. Though, I admit, pain and enduring it has taught me many grand lessons in calmly weathering chaos, I still don't like to see others... especially kind spirits, go through difficult trials.

I wish you peace, strength, courage and resilience in making it through whatever it is that is your trouble.

To responses like this I usually say things like ''Don't be so nice!''

:P

But thanks, it'll probably work out well. Most fears are pure phantoms and I know that. I don't actually fear, it's just stress and *a lot* to do. I need to move places as I feel so unsafe due to circumstances here that I need to move quickly. That in combination with other things. I'm a very low-stress person, and I usually understand that things don't actually HURT me, I can move on and even the worst scenarios are liveable and fixable. But still, in circumstances like these where pressure is piling up in vital areas (such as where I live, I really like to have a nice place where I can feel 'safe' and 'not harassed', when I have that, most is fine but I lost that) stress builds and I hate stress. I'm bad with it WHEN it comes.

I even stress much less than most NT's (they call me laid-back etc). As a child I suffered from severe anxiety issues and being forced to endure these horrors I learned quickly that the things that seem horrible beforehand are forgotten within a couple of days. I learned to deal with stress from a young age; benefitting me now. But when I do start to feel it, I get things such as this, like not being 'able' somehow to post in forums or to respond even when I really want to. It's just chaos.

But I manage now at least, a bit ^_^ I write this response, right!

_________

Oh right, on topic. The unwanted intruder thing. I've been invited to some group activities and I'll just go, they had me there before. I'm still an odd-ball though and I like to be with certain people with whom I can relate, but it helps a lot that most people in those groups know that I'm somewhat weird. It makes me able to make jokes and be 'open', to which they respond rather well. Someone recently told me that I have a 'warm personality' so that's at least a sign that I can come across as somewhat 'okay-ish'. :wink: However, people who say that are more similar to me and with whom I can relate better. It's a recurring problem that I share very little with most of my peers, I'm really not interested in gossip, soap operas, soccer and all those other things.

Luckily I've also been invited to a home where I know that I'm welcome so that's nice. These are the people I dare inviting myself. I perhaps should look out for more of those. I KNOW I'm 'unwanted' with most people, I think that's reality and in fact I don't really mind as I'm not really interested myself. I usually get along naturally better with more ''alternative'' people, like at metal/folk/etc concerts. I need to focus on that.

*notes*


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LibrariesAndCoffee
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27 Jun 2014, 2:23 am

LookingLost wrote:
Yes. Definitely yes.

Unfortunately I'm not sure I do deal with it very well, I sort of fluctuate between apologising for everything and trying not to impose myself on people, and trying to participate but being overcome with thoughts that I'm unwanted or imposing and I should leave.


This is how I am, too.


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29 Jun 2014, 9:43 pm

I feel as though I stress others out with my presence and they'd relax much more if I weren't around. Whenever a group of people I'm not well acquainted with invites me out, I decline from fear that I'd spoil their fun. I know I'll miss out on a variety of experiences if I continue to do this, but it's unfortunately an instinctive reaction from years of humiliation in social situations.


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01 Jul 2014, 4:04 am

Same. But less going out with people than bumping into acquiantances.



Summer_Twilight
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01 Jul 2014, 7:15 am

That has always been a real bear for me too. I can never tell if someone is inviting me because they are interested or they are doing it due to some obligation to please someone else.

It sounds like you might want to give some of these people a call and ask them straight up

"Are you interested in having me around because I really feel like a pest."