Do you ever feel bad about being anti-social?

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LupaLuna
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17 Jun 2014, 8:46 am

questor wrote:
Most of us on the spectrum are not anti social--we are non social. People who are anti social tend to be mad at the world, or hate a lot of other people, and not always rationally. Non social people may be mad about some specific things and some specific people, but are other wise not mad at anyone or thing. I am non social, not anti social. I will never be a social butterfly, but that's fine with me. Unfortunately, my upper 80s extrovert father has a problem with my non social status, and keeps trying to make me change. I am in my mid 50s. If I haven't turned into a social butterfly by now, and am fine with being non social, that change ain't gonna happen. lol


I have to agree with you on that one. But there are also socially impaired people out there as well, and what I mean by socially impaired is a person who wants to socialize but can't make it work. It's a lot like person who wants to play in a ball game but can't catch the ball because their hand/eye coordination sucks. But then again, social impairment is the result of aspergers anyways.



freddie_mercury
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17 Jun 2014, 1:41 pm

When I talked about this with my counselor, he helped me verbalize (and understand) that I like being alone - but I don't like being lonely. And the biggest difference is that when I am alone, it is because I chose to be that way. But when I am lonely, it is because I didn't choose to be.

So I don't feel bad about not being social. I am perfectly happy going to my room when there is a houseful of people (even when it is my own house).



Lost_Dreamer
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17 Jun 2014, 2:15 pm

I don't feel bad about not being social most of the times, in few of the times such in family events, I do feel a bit rude for wanting to be alone and away from it :/



babybird
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17 Jun 2014, 3:13 pm

No, I don't feel bad about being antisocial.

In fact my colleagues and I have a good laugh about it.


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mr_bigmouth_502
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17 Jun 2014, 7:58 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
mr_bigmouth_502 wrote:
I thought being anti-social simply meant that you didn't like socialization, or being around other people. Even though I like to socialize with certain people, I still consider myself somewhat antisocial, because there's only a certain amount of socialization I can tolerate before I need to hide somewhere and be by myself for a while. As well, I don't like sudden, "unexpected" interactions with other people, especially people I don't know all too well.


That is what lots of people think it means, but it actually means more active negative behavior towards people, found that out when I took psychology in college.


So what would that make me then?



hanyo
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17 Jun 2014, 8:30 pm

mr_bigmouth_502 wrote:
So what would that make me then?


Introverted and/or asocial?

A lot of people use the term antisocial for people that don't socialize much but I associate that term more with antisocial personality disorder which is a whole different thing.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antisocial_personality_disorder

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asociality



mr_bigmouth_502
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17 Jun 2014, 11:02 pm

hanyo wrote:
mr_bigmouth_502 wrote:
So what would that make me then?


Introverted and/or asocial?

A lot of people use the term antisocial for people that don't socialize much but I associate that term more with antisocial personality disorder which is a whole different thing.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antisocial_personality_disorder

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asociality


I'm definitely an introvert, there's no doubt about that. I'm probably more asocial than antisocial as well, though I wouldn't doubt that I have some antisocial tendencies, as I have definitely had antagonistic relationships with other people, and still do today. I was definitely more directly anti-social when I was younger than I am now, as I had less self-control, and I didn't care so much about what other people thought of me.



grainxs
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18 Jun 2014, 8:03 am

Not anymore.

But I used to. I felt like I'm too weird or pathetic because I have only a few friends. (because on my anti-social habits) But I realized two things:
1. I feel bad, because being social is some kind of norm. Normal people are social.
2. I don't care about norms in general, so why would I care about this particular norm?
The answer was: I shouldn't. And the reason is that I am happy this way! I enjoy spending time alone. A lot. And it's all that matters.



SoMissunderstood
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18 Jun 2014, 8:29 am

Not anymore!

If I cannot be 'social' within the family unit, where can I be?

Today, as I was babysitting my 13yr old niece, she was very rude and swore at me, just because I 'got in her way' when I was first on the scene in the kitchen trying to make myself a cup of coffee, then she came into the kitchen from wherever she was and decided she wanted to eat noodles (a load of bulls***) and started blocking every cupboard I was trying to get into'.

I ended up just grabbing all the stuff and running, but I reported the incident to my brother just now (as it was my duty to do) and you know what he said?

"Kids will be kids....just ignore it like me and the missus do".

Yeah, ignore it and have the children turn into spoilt, entitled, self-righteous, arrogant, annoying bastards...that grow up to be even bigger ones.

I gave up being 'social' years ago, because I couldn't find anybody likeminded to socialise with.