ever been accused as a stalker

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infilove
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17 Jun 2014, 2:40 pm

Have you ever dated, been friends, or simply talked to someone in the opposite sex and you suddenly were accused of being a stocker? I have many friends on the spectrum who have been accused before and there were a few times where I was accused of being one and I did NOT like it. Have you ever been accused as a stalker before?


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Last edited by infilove on 17 Jun 2014, 9:51 pm, edited 2 times in total.

hurtloam
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17 Jun 2014, 2:47 pm

Do you mean stalker? Or are people being uppity about you stocking shelves?

I have never been directly accused of stalking, but as a teenager I just didn't understand social boundaries and I would have called me a stalker if I'd been the man involved. I used to sit an wait for him in a place where I knew he would walk by on his way to work. I wrote him letters, alot of letter, he never wrote any back. You'd think I would have got the hint! He was nice enough to tolerate me. I think he suspected I was an aspie and I was pretty harmless. I think it's less scary for a guy to have a teenage girl being a bit too obsessive than it is for a woman to have a man stalking her.



aspiemike
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17 Jun 2014, 3:38 pm

Been accused of it before. Someone didn't like me coming to visit her at work (we were coworkers). She even tried manipulating me out of the job to increase her hours. We weren't on speaking terms after that.
Funny thing is she got fired two months later in an incident unrelated to me.


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AnonymousAnonymous
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17 Jun 2014, 3:56 pm

During my HS years, I was accused of stalking female classmates many times. However, such incidents were caused by a teacher trying to get at me just because I didn't "fit in."


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Aaendi
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17 Jun 2014, 7:32 pm

Stalking is BS. I have no obligation to leave a room just because some arrogant girl enters the room and tells me to leave.



Stargazer43
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17 Jun 2014, 8:10 pm

I used to work at a department store where my job was to make sure that the shelves were always filled with items. They used to call me a "stocker" all the time :(.



modernmax
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17 Jun 2014, 9:33 pm

My dad says he was a huge stocker in his 20's, when he often invested in the stock market.


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tarantella64
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17 Jun 2014, 11:52 pm

:) I loved the old thread title.

Anyway -- if someone's accusing you of acting like a stalker, you're probably acting like a stalker. Leave the person alone, do not follow her around, do not go hunting her down, do not start turning up everywhere she is so she can't avoid you. Give space. And don't stare at her, either.

A lot of women get stalked, and it's not fun. Often the guy can be scared off easily, but sometimes the guy turns out to be dangerous, and we have no way of knowing, just looking at you, which kind you're going to be. So yep, if you're in a woman's space all the time and she's not friends with you, she's going to treat you like a creepy potentially dangerous person.



AspieOtaku
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18 Jun 2014, 1:47 am

Did in the past and simply never interacted with the individuals ever since I merely dissapeard never for them to see me again!


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newageretrohippie
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18 Jun 2014, 1:56 am

Yup, freshman year of high school a girl accused me of stalking. It was a simple misunderstanding, though some of her friends were bullies who treated me like shtako to begin with so they made the situation WORSE by calling her & pretending to be me, and they even threatened me and attacked me. Thankfully things resolved themselves, but that has got to be the worst rejection EVER....especially since she was the first girl I was interested in and that was my first rejection.

Lesson learned: don't try to attract a woman by sending romantic emails ( I only sent 3 over a 3 month span... ). :oops:


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The_Face_of_Boo
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18 Jun 2014, 2:04 am

Nope, never ever, been "accused" of being gay though because I sound too safe and don't actively chase women.



hale_bopp
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18 Jun 2014, 2:18 am

Yes, but not by my friends. Apart from that guy who told me I was creepy.



MDD123
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18 Jun 2014, 8:15 am

I got accused of it when I was 18, by someone I never saw outside of work.


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Aaendi
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18 Jun 2014, 11:18 am

tarantella64 wrote:
Do not start turning up everywhere she is so she can't avoid you.


What if she keeps doing this to me?



aspiemike
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19 Jun 2014, 11:40 am

You know, other than the obvious respect for others boundaries issue, there are some people out there that do blow things out of proportion. On top of that, you also have people that decide they don't like you or feel as if making your life miserable is a fun thing to do. I know growing up, there was a fine line when it came to our own self-respect: choosing the path of least resistance (due to fear of unwanted or uncalled for ridicule and criticism) vs standing up for yourself and telling others how you feel.


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ThatOneWhiteKnight
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28 Aug 2020, 1:13 pm

I probably shouldn't openly discuss my experience on this, but if anyone can offer me any suggestions, I'd appreciate it.

I think I have in total had 2 people accuse me of being a stalker, but funnily enough, I don't think I've been called worse. Both instances were probably in this exact year and the one person may have affected or influenced the other to come to this realisation, which I guess isn't as bad as it had seemed.

I have done a certain thing that caused this reaction and it's been about two or three times it has happened. I may have an interest in a person or something similar. It never feels like it could be such a bad of an idea in my own mind at the time. I have also not too long ago met a person on Discord who I didn't mind talking to. I wanted to try and form a bond with them and in attempts thereof, I panicked and started asking too much. I didn't want to lose contact with them after all I have thought I'd have with them. They later had to come to the conclusion that I may seem like a bad person or that I'm a stalker. Similar instances have occurred, such as wanting to share servers with people whom I was close with and etc. I am a very controlling person sometimes and this can be seen as a bad personality trait. Around about this time I at least have therapy sessions. I have sometimes felt like I was the victim and those who made me feel bad at the end of the day had to be in some way be punished for their actions.

Some of these negative thoughts I get drive me to the point of not wanting to either be awake or not wanting to exist.
The one person you can't get away from is yourself. Please understand that I am trying and if anyone here sees this and thinks I need maybe a second opinion on this such a therapist, I'll try and retell this story of mine.

Sorry if my English is all over the place. I have been told that my English is a bit weird.


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