I feel like I'm running out of time

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em_tsuj
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01 Jul 2014, 9:16 pm

You still have almost 4 years. That is a long time. One thing I might suggest is moving to a location where there are more of the type of guys you like.

I often feel the same way that you do. Something about turning 30 earlier this year has really affected me in a negative way. I realize I am not a kid anymore but I don't have any of the trappings of adult life either (marriage, kids, sexual experience, house, or property). I feel very behind my peers and fear that I won't have the opportunity to experience fatherhood. But that is not real, and I remind myself that it is not real. The future hasn't materialized yet. I have a choice in the matter. I can become the type of person who is capable of a relationship and put myself in a position to enter a relationship. It isn't hopeless. I encourage you to be optimistic and keep working to improve your life--regardless of whether you are single or dating.



Pobbles
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01 Jul 2014, 9:40 pm

Everyone is running out of time, relax!

I'm glad I haven't had children - I shudder to think what kind of upbringing any hypothetical spawn would have - but I have also felt the urge to start a family, even if the circumstances have been wrong. Losing one's parents certainly gives you a kick.

Being the last in my line of men isn't fun either, I am officially an evolutionary dead end.

This is totally cool, as the alternative is going out and finding an ultimately loveless relationship just so I can satisfy my selfish urge to have kids that may or not be ASD and will probably be raised in a broken home, with one or both parents dying a stress related death before the youngest reaches adulthood :lol:

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF that!

Cheer up, everyone! :wink:


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Halfmadgenius
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01 Jul 2014, 11:13 pm

Moving is expensive. And I'd have to have a job waiting, not to mention I wouldn't have my mom near if I moved. Plus as a military brat I moved and moved and moved and hated every single second of it. And if I could afford to drop everything and move with no job or my mom then I'd have enough money to have a baby alone.

As for the profiles, I've been on okcupid on and off for years. I've met three men. One was an a$$hole who mentally abused me for over 2 years. Another used me for sex, and looking back I think he was lying about being divorced. And another never led to a second date. And I met one guy on POF who was the rudest, most vulgar person I'd ever had the displeasure of meeting.

That's it. 8 years and 4 first dates. Been cat fished a few times. Men love to message me, but never want to meet me.



wowiexist
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01 Jul 2014, 11:21 pm

Well you said that you are from North Georgia so you could move to a big city nearby like Atlanta and you would still be close to your mom. Being a big city there are probably jobs available, and there will be a bigger pool of men to chose from, or activities to get involved in to potentially meet someone.



Shebakoby
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02 Jul 2014, 2:54 am

at 41, I KNOW I'm running out of time. I'm not sure if I'll have the full 8-9 years or whether it's going to be actually much less. The chances of me reproducing are now so low as to be negligible (unless a miracle happens). But considering how my life has gone, it almost feels like I was meant *not* to.



The_Face_of_Boo
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02 Jul 2014, 6:00 am

em_tsuj wrote:
You still have almost 4 years. That is a long time. One thing I might suggest is moving to a location where there are more of the type of guys you like.


No, it's not a long time, this is too sugar-coating and not realistic, I am sorry.

She won't gonna pop out a baby on a 3rd date or even on the 20th date when she finds someone, I'd assume that she's gonna need to be with the man for a least 2 years in order to decide whether she will have a baby with him or not, and often bad things get revealed after some lengthy time and that would all be a wasted time.

Taking the needed time in order to establish a serious relationship and to determine if he's right man for her and for her future child within 4 years is a pretty limited time.

Unless her first priority is to find a future partner and not having a child, then yea she stills have plenty of time.



mezzanotte
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02 Jul 2014, 7:11 am

Lay down your cannonballs and hoist the white flag. Father Time has already defeated you. A new adventure beckons. It is a perilous journey into the darkest corners of your mailbox and the unexplored reaches of the internet. You must recover the legendary coupon-filled tomes and decipher their baffling codes. Do the fabled 50% off kitty litter coupons truly exist? How many boxes of Meow Mix can you stockpile in a basement without undermining allotted space for a knitting machine, rocking chair, and bookshelf of paranormal romance novels? How does one bathe cats without getting her face clawed off? These are the burning questions you must answer, old woman. Find the nearest broom. Wield it by its mighty wooden handle and raise it skyward. This is your weapon. Let its awesome power flow through every fiber of your being. Stick your ear out into the open wind of the world and listen. When you hear the meows of distant cats calling, then you know it is time, and destiny is upon you. Godspeed!



kraftiekortie
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02 Jul 2014, 7:27 am

Cary Grant had his first kid when he was about 82!

You've got plenty of time.

Many guys and gals, especially within the middle/upper socioeconomic brackets, begin having kids well into their 40;s.



Halfmadgenius
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02 Jul 2014, 8:11 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Cary Grant had his first kid when he was about 82!

You've got plenty of time.

Many guys and gals, especially within the middle/upper socioeconomic brackets, begin having kids well into their 40;s.


Not without a lot of medial assistance getting pregnant, and then it may not work. And Cary Grant is a man. I am a woman, our eggs start to go bad in our 30s. And I do NOT want to be the crazy cat woman. Baby doesn't even like other cats.



kraftiekortie
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02 Jul 2014, 8:15 am

I know a woman who had her first kids at 53. Twins. Perfectly healthy. You have time. Many women have their first kids in their 40's these days. I know this for a fact.

LOL..I actually apologize for not looking at your profile. I didn't know your gender/sex when I posted.



The_Face_of_Boo
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02 Jul 2014, 8:31 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Cary Grant had his first kid when he was about 82!

You've got plenty of time.

Many guys and gals, especially within the middle/upper socioeconomic brackets, begin having kids well into their 40;s.



Are you sure it's his child? LOL
If it's one of those "rich granny-daddy/young hot babe" relationships then chances are high that she has a young mister to f**k. Don't be naive and believe there's any sort of genuine love in such relations.

Also, as I said earlier, it is a huge MYTH that men have unlimited time.

Check my previous post, even for men the ideal age for having babies is 20-30.



The_Face_of_Boo
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02 Jul 2014, 8:36 am

and your info is wrong, he had his 1st baby at 62. Huge difference.



kraftiekortie
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02 Jul 2014, 9:02 am

All right. I was wrong. I'll have to research the Cary Grant thing.

But it's not a rare thing for people to have kids in their 40's, without any problems.



wowiexist
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02 Jul 2014, 10:28 am

I think as long as I do it within 5 years I will be okay. I think one child would maybe be fine for me although it would be nice to have a couple more. I just hope I can find a partner by then. That seems to be the hard part.



sly279
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02 Jul 2014, 2:42 pm

Halfmadgenius wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Cary Grant had his first kid when he was about 82!

You've got plenty of time.

Many guys and gals, especially within the middle/upper socioeconomic brackets, begin having kids well into their 40;s.


Not without a lot of medial assistance getting pregnant, and then it may not work. And Cary Grant is a man. I am a woman, our eggs start to go bad in our 30s. And I do NOT want to be the crazy cat woman. Baby doesn't even like other cats.


what about freezing some eggs for later use?



Klowglas
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02 Jul 2014, 2:47 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I know a woman who had her first kids at 53. Twins. Perfectly healthy. You have time. Many women have their first kids in their 40's these days. I know this for a fact.

LOL..I actually apologize for not looking at your profile. I didn't know your gender/sex when I posted.


50's seems rather selfish, parents will be in their mid-60's when the child starts the rebellion nonsense, and that phase in a teenagers life will take it's toll on older parents who will be looking for peace and quiet at that point in their lives, hardly the sort of energy that can contain a teenager. Grandkids will also have a high likelihood of never knowing their grandparents, which is sad.

At some point, it's better to just project other peoples children as your own. The world needs A LOT more of that, plus when you disciple kids, you're immediately engaging their minds, you're not feeding them or taking care of them for all those years, which is just pure stress, until it finally pays off and their minds start forming.