Aspies are big children on an emotional level?

Post Reply New Topic

Dressing in tshirts and shorts and jeans is not immature at all. It's just a way to dress and lots of people dress that way.

I'm immature in some ways. I've been told that I'm very soft spoken so that probably makes me seem younger than I really am because others perceive that I'm really shy. I think I might seem even more shy than I really am because one of the reasons I talk like that is because I'm tired, not because I'm shy . I'm pretty clumsy too so that probably makes me look even younger. I also have trouble asserting myself like an adult should because I don't always know what to say right at the moment because it all happens too fast for me to find the words or take any action. It's so much easier to assert myself when I'm in a situation where I'm able to think about what I will say ahead of time. I can't adapt very well either. I'm also overly sensitive, but I don't think I'm as bad as I use to be.

I'm mature in other ways though because I'm usually very disciplined when it comes to getting work done. I'm also not as naive as I use to be because I try to be extremely careful with what I disclose to others and I try to keep my distance from most people. Even if I want to open up to someone I usually try to resist it because they might not be as nice as they seem.

I've read in random places that this is true, but I've personally known many NTs that would be considered emotionally immature (could be personality disorders etc however).

_________________
Unapologetically, Norny.
-chronically drunk

By the time you get to my age (43) being perceived as looking or acting younger than you are is no bad thing, anyway - but whilst I don't consider myself an overgrown child I probably do have a mental age somewhere around the 30-35 bracket. I'm happy with that.

On the other hand, when I was at college I was accused of being too old for my age and even a bit of a fuddy-duddy, largely because tended to fancy women my own age or slightly older rather than being a sophomore chasing after freshers like most of my male friends were, so again it all comes down to how we measure maturity.

I consider myself very immature. I collect little blinky toys and still like Tweety bird. I still go into the toy isle and get jealous of all the toys the kids get to play with these days. I have been known on occasion to buy children's night vision goggles or walkie talkies. I work part time at Walmart and really like allot of the toys I see. One time a lady was buying a blinky toy with no tag on it and I said that is $1.00, I just love theses things and could play with it for hours. She said, it's not for me I'm buying for my infant daughter who will be turn 12 months soon. I told her she should get one for her self as well because they are allot of fun. I'm not sure what she was thinking at this point but my mother told me she probably thought I was weird. I have and overall IQ of 130 but my emotional IQ is more like a child's. I do not think it is a bad thing. I see nothing wrong with enjoying toys. Who said they are just for kids?

I also fight going to sleep. I have to wake up at 6am. But I'm still awake fighting going to sleep. I know if I do not go to bed soon it will have a bad effect on my day tomorrow but I still fight it. There are many nights I have had to take a large amount of melatonin in order to make myself go to bed.

On an emotional level, yes. I tend to get upset very easily, I don't get other people's body language and emotions (given up at this point in my life), I tend to cry a lot and hand flap when I'm extremely upset.

My IQ on the other hand is high (I took a test years ago, pretty much got good scores in everything except math) and I can figure out basically any tech gadget.

I have a childlike degree of curiosity, but an adult's methods of approaching it. I also have the observational skills of a child, and I tend to call things as I see them (if I choose to say something at all).

I also tend to cling to some people emotionally the same way a child would, but that might just be a bond forming thing that other folks my age have trouble with.


Other than that, I wouldn't really consider myself childlike. I have almost excessive self control, I'm stupidly polite, I dress for business when I can (though the dress depends on the business - I don't dress for play). My apartment is basically bare, aside from a couple guitars, some furniture, and basic appliances. Computer has a few games on it, but not much besides that - though I do spend a lot of time chatting on IRC, Skype, etc. with friends. I know what I want, when I want it, and why I want it, and I can control that want and the associated emotions.

I am NOT emotionally immature!

And I'm telling my Mommy...I mean...the moderators-on you for saying that I am!

I don't think thick skin is actually something that exists. People just learn how not to react on the spot - and then just blow up somewhere else; either in a healthy way (working out, etc) or an unhealthy way (drinking, etc).

I do find that I have a tendency to lose it when too much is put on me that I didn't expect. And I have to shut the door to my office and kick the walls. When I am at home, I will sometimes just leave the house and walk for about 10 minutes or so. Sometimes mid-conversation. But that is so I don't blow up at home - where my kids could see it.

Are aspies emotionally children? I don't think so - but from what I have read, we tend to fall a few years behind our peers in emotional maturity. And I see that in my son (who is also on the spectrum).

But regardless if someone is on the spectrum or not, I think that emotional control can be taught/learned to a large degree. There are all sorts of people in this world...some with really bad tempers, and some so low-key that you aren't even sure they are awake.