extrovert vs. introvert, social vs. anti-social

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squaretail
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01 Mar 2007, 9:15 am

Hi,

I'm kind of new here - just hoping to break the ice with a question :)

My twin 4 year old daughters are autistic and they are quite social - at least they try to be. They practically throw themselves at adults, familiar and strange, and get very excited and chatty with adult company. They're very friendly and often amuse adults with their oddball statements. They're less social with their peers, but they'll still approach and attempt to engage their peers - unfortuneately, they often confuse their peers with their complicated and out-of-context monologuing :)

Is it common for autistic children to be socially outgoing? Will this personality trait remain as they get older, or will the persistant rejection from their peers convert them into the stereo-typical, withdrawn autistic child?

Sorry if I'm dealing in stereotypes - I'm don't know any other autistic children at this point.

Here's a picture of them, btw:

http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o192 ... -small.jpg


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joku_muko
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01 Mar 2007, 12:33 pm

Well, I'm 25. I mainly liked older people growing up didn't get along with my peers. I'm introverted. I am anti-social but anxiety can make me seem social sometimes. The only people I have in my life are my case worker, and other paid people and my mom/dad. Sorry, not sure how to answer the question but thats how I was/am now if that helps any.



Erlyrisa
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01 Mar 2007, 8:12 pm

I would have always liked to to talk to the adults - and when I had opportunities I did.... I usuallly came off as a smug little smart arse....

I think because there girls, they have a higher level of courage. They already realise talking with peers results in dead end conversations, yet adults seem more forgiving and will continue with the chat.

--Give them plenty of books - real hard ones in the field of thier interests! --It will also help to shut them up, mainly if thier mind is pre-occupied with thier interest more than social interaction. (Note if thiier interest ever comes up as subject matter, then again they won't shut up)



flowermom
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02 Mar 2007, 3:50 pm

Hi there,

My five year old daughter with AS sounds a lot like your two girls. She is very social. It is one of the things that confused me most when we were getting the diagnosis. I always believed the stereotype of the quiet, withdrawn child with autism. Happy alone, lining up toys. NOT my daughter. She wants to talk, play, go places constantly. She is sensory seeking. If she sees the neighbors kids outside she will practically run out and tackle them! When we go to the park, beach, whatever, she will always find someone to play with. I don't know if this will fade with time, but I have heard from parents with older children that it can. The child faces rejection or teasing and then becomes more withdrawn. I guess only time will tell.

Also, just had to say I related to your comment about your girls off the wall, out of context comments. We have this too, although it has decreased with time. We have tried to teach her to say, "I was just thinking about something..." prior to changing the subject. Otherwise you go from talking about the Great Wall of China, to the tooth fairy, to what she did in school that day all within a 3 minute period! :)

Take care and I hope some of this helped!



Graelwyn
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02 Mar 2007, 8:25 pm

flowermom wrote:
Hi there,

My five year old daughter with AS sounds a lot like your two girls. She is very social. It is one of the things that confused me most when we were getting the diagnosis. I always believed the stereotype of the quiet, withdrawn child with autism. Happy alone, lining up toys. NOT my daughter. She wants to talk, play, go places constantly. She is sensory seeking. If she sees the neighbors kids outside she will practically run out and tackle them! When we go to the park, beach, whatever, she will always find someone to play with. I don't know if this will fade with time, but I have heard from parents with older children that it can. The child faces rejection or teasing and then becomes more withdrawn. I guess only time will tell.

Also, just had to say I related to your comment about your girls off the wall, out of context comments. We have this too, although it has decreased with time. We have tried to teach her to say, "I was just thinking about something..." prior to changing the subject. Otherwise you go from talking about the Great Wall of China, to the tooth fairy, to what she did in school that day all within a 3 minute period! :)

Take care and I hope some of this helped!


Sounds like myself as a child. I am told I was always running up to and talking to strangers and was a joy to have, though I did also have my obsessions and would collect snails and woodlice with great glee. My experience is that I experienced such a great degree of bullying and rejection once I went to school, that I am now exceedingly withdrawn and unable to approach people without fears of rejection. I too have been thinking...why was I an outgoing child if I am seeking a Dx of Aspergers... it is a relief to know that this does not mean I do not have AS, since I do have all the traits now as an adult. I really hope your child doesn't lose that joy of living as I did.


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shauna
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03 Mar 2007, 1:28 am

My son sounds like many of the social children you've described. There are times when he withdraws, but they are the result of sensory overload (they occur mainly in crowded, noisy places). He certainly wants to have friends, but his social skills are definitely not as mature as his peers.



ahayes
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03 Mar 2007, 3:42 am

shauna wrote:
My son sounds like many of the social children you've described. There are times when he withdraws, but they are the result of sensory overload (they occur mainly in crowded, noisy places). He certainly wants to have friends, but his social skills are definitely not as mature as his peers.


Interesting, I have AS and *my* mom's name is Shaunna.



Jamie06
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05 Mar 2007, 6:23 am

I guess just because your autistic that doesn't completely make you shy and not socially outgoing ? I have AS and I can be ok at socialising sometimes it's finding it difficult which gets in the way.



daisydiana
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07 Mar 2007, 9:57 am

:D Hi,

My son who is 8 and has aspergers would much rather communicate with adults rather than kids his own age he doesn't socialize much I don't think he really knows how and for that reason he gets very anxious and nervous around people.



Goku
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07 Mar 2007, 11:01 am

My 14yo (adhd/asperger's) has always been very outgoing with people older or younger but not with kids his own age. I think that's pretty common.

Just recently he started social skills groups both at school and privately and he's said it's good, it works. I don't know how effective it would have been when he was younger though. He never even saw that the problem related back to himself until recently.

Seems like your girls are doing great. I wouldn't worry until there was a problem. I don't mean that you shouldn't mentally prepare yourself, just that I don't think you need to do anything actively yet. You'll be able to jump on it quickly if and when it does become a problem.